Sex Ed is truly a formative experience that sticks out in our memories of elementary and high school. Sticking adolescents with raging hormones in a room together to talk about sex is memorable, to say the least.

Let’s get into the history of sex education in the United States. Buckle up.

We’re starting way back. In the early 20th century, we saw something called the social hygiene movement. The social hygiene movement was born out of public health, medicine, and social work to help control sex work and “vice.” It was largely a response to the increased rate of prostitution. This was actually considered to be part of the eugenics movement, (read more here) and was aimed at educating anglo-saxon white men, as women were to considered to have low sex drives anyway. (Good one!) The goal was to scare them into only having “virtuous” sex with their wives. The American Social Hygiene Association (ASHA)—which was created in 1914 by the merger of the American Purity Alliance and the National Vigilance Campaign—was one of the earliest advocates for these kinds of programs. While its founders had prejudiced beliefs in line with the era, it plays an extremely important role in sexuality education as we know it. Fun fact, ASHA is now American Sexual Health Association, a progressive organization with sex-positive messages.

Imbalanced libido, sexual dysfunction, anorgasmia, and intimacy issues are some of clients’ most common sexual hurdles. Assigning sensual touch exercises (also known as sensate focus) can pave the way for your clients to open conversations about intimacy and reignite passion while removing the requirement and pressure of bringing themselves or their partners to orgasm.

Sensual touch exercises are designed to increase intimacy and reduce sexual tension. In short, sensual touch is caressing the body without leading to sexual activities. Guiding your clients to separate the act of touch from sex will help them to be more physically present and mindful. Throughout the assignment, you should strongly recommend that your clients refrain from sexual intercourse until they have completed all three exercises. This frees each partner from any sexual expectations. By removing sexual performance and orgasm as the “goal,” sexual anxiety is reduced and “failure” of the exercise is impossible.

The Sexual Attitude Reassessment (SAR) is a professional development opportunity for providers in areas such as healthcare, mental health, education, sexuality, and social work. These will be key for those looking to become sex therapists! SARs are process-oriented seminars that challenge attendees to evaluate their own internal beliefs, values, and attitudes towards sexuality topics. The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), further explains that “the goal of the 21st Century SAR is to develop within sexuality professionals a sexological worldview that is appropriately self-aware, informed and flexible enough to encourage practice excellence. The 21st Century SAR accomplishes this through the conscious use of transformational learning experiences, self-reflective process, small group experience, and courageous conversations” (AASECT, 2006).

If you weren’t able to attend our May sex-positive parenting conference, don’t fret. We at SHA will share *some* of the key takeaways from the event with you! The main speaker at the conference was one of our favorite sexperts- Jasmine Johnson AKA Jet Setting Jasmine. For those who aren’t yet familiar with Jasmine’s work in the sex industry, she is co-owner of award-winning Royal Fetish Films, a licensed psychotherapist with a strong emphasis on intimacy post-injury or illness, and an educator in sex-positive parenting among other amazing things. Jasmine works alongside her partner King Noire, with whom she also parents her children. Jet Setting Jasmine and King Noire are the definition of a dynamic duo- they have managed to create a relationship rooted in both family and work that survives on pure trust. Together, Jet Setting Jasmine and King Noire create authentic pornography and incorporate that same sex-positive mindset into their parenting. The conference featured King Noire as a guest presenter, as well as his daughter with Jasmine, Mani, as well as many other guests such as Jessica Nater. Jasmine offered those who attended a look into her life as a performer, business owner, mother, and partner throughout the conference. She covered a lot of topics, ranging from how to parent children as a porn performer and producer, as well as…

In Iceland, of all places, there is a penis museum. Established in 1997, the Icelandic Phallological Museum boasts having 280 phallus specimens from 93 species of animals. The museum is truly the A-Z on all things penis-related. Florence Schechter wasn’t impressed. She was even more frustrated when she learned there was no vagina* equivalent. Taking matters into her own hands, 20 years later, Schechter founded the Vagina Museum with a view of becoming the world’s first bricks and mortar museum dedicated to gynecological anatomy. From 2017 to 2018, the museum was in pop-up form, traveling around England, but Schechter’s dream came true: In 2019 they opened their first location in Camden Market.

It’s safe to say that Emily Nagoski’s book, Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform your Sex Life, is a game-changer for the sexuality literary lay-people. Every page is filled with groundbreaking science and research proving that how your feel about your parts is the key to a confident and joyful sex life. Nagoski takes your hand and guides you through this research, breaking down the scientific terms for us laypeople, and ultimately brings the reader into a new, sexually freeing understanding. Since there’s a chance you already have this book proudly displayed on your shelf, here is a list of books that would also look well on your shelf.

Our next getaway is certainly overdue. When was the last time any of us were on a plane? If Cancun, Mexico is a destination you’re considering, might I suggest looking into the Boobs Cruise? Not to be confused with Booze Cruise, which is still fun but decidedly less fun than this, the Boobs Cruise is a topless/nude catamaran day trip. It is operated by CancunCare.com and is located at the Temptations Cancun Resort—though you do not have to be a guest at the resort to join in the fun!

A client comes to you—they’re looking to add some spice to their sex life. Where do they start? As a sexuality professional, what do you recommend? A fantastic way to start the conversation is by having them complete a “yes, no, maybe” checklist!

In essence, the yes, no, maybe checklist is a document that contains a list of sexual activities, positions, products, kinks, fetishes, etc. and an area to mark a response of “yes,” “no,” or “maybe” to indicate your level of interest in said item. All partners in the relationship should complete the checklist separately then come together to discuss their responses.

Feminism is the “belief in, and advocacy of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes expressed especially through organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests” (Merriam-Webster). Feminism and pornography have a complicated relationship, as a lot of mainstream porn promotes unrealistic and often heteronormative ideologies. Mainstream porn adheres to the harmful neoliberal mindset that performers, specifically cis-gendered women, are not people but rather bodies that should fit into a stereotyped mold of perfection to be marketed unjustly. Consequently, many feminists use this reasoning to justify their anti-pornography views. Anti-porn feminists have argued that “(1) harm is endemic to the production of pornography; (2) its existence increases the rates of rape and other violence against women and (3) that it supports and promotes gender inequality (economic, status or otherwise), contributing to women’s subordination” (tandfonline.com). In other words, the consumption of pornography promotes rape culture and disrespect toward cis-gendered women. More than this, many anti-pornography feminists feel that mainstream porn sets unrealistic standards.

Gender identity, expression, physical sex, sexuality, and romanticism—all these facets of our identity exist on a scale. Throughout our lives, most of us will encounter slight shifts in some or all of these categories as we develop emotionally, physically, and psychologically, and as we become more intimate and comfortable with ourselves. Recognizing the similarities and differences in each of these aspects of our lives helps us better understand ourselves, others, and the beautifully diverse world surrounding us. As sexuality professionals, this knowledge also helps us connect with and educate our clients who might be questioning their sexuality or gender.

If you read our recent article on Ethical pornography, “What is Ethical Porn and What Can We Learn from it?” you’re probably wondering where to find this type of pornography! I mentioned in the article that ethical pornography can be hard to spot, as “porn is vulnerable to being "harmful, exploitive and misused.” (Dr. David Ley) In this sense, it can be difficult to find pornography that adheres to ethical production protocols and advocates for ethical consumption methods. If you’re curious about where to find ethical porn, we at SHA are here to help. Below we’ve compiled a short guide to ethical pornography and will shine a spotlight on some great ethical porn creators!

Again and again, Midori reminded us that BDSM is fundamentally about play and that play is a necessary component of being a mammal. As humans, engaging in cultural and societal norms are what’s encouraged and there’s the unspoken-ness that we are expected to grow out of this desire for play and replace it with what – the weight of responsibility and an absence of fun?

What would you say to new parents needing to have “The Talk” with their child?

The most important thing to remember is that it’s not just one talk - educating your children about sex is a series of conversations you have over the course of their lives. You should give young children age-appropriate information and introduce bodily autonomy and consent so they can speak up when something isn’t right. For older children and adolescents, answer their questions as they come up and prepare them for the next stages in their lives in a comfortable, natural way, as if you were discussing their chores or homework. Why is that important? They will glean how they should feel about sexuality from you, and if you’re nervous or ashamed, they will pick up on it and adopt the attitude themselves. Use cultural queues to start conversations, such as song lyrics or scenes in TV shows or movies, and ask your children if they understand what is being said/shown, and if they don’t, ask them if they’d like to understand. Give them the information they need without overwhelming them, and allow them to ask for more.

A quick google search defines ethical porn as: “that which is made legally, respects the rights of performers, has good working conditions, shows both fantasy and real-world sex, and celebrates sexual diversity.” (abc.net.au) For the mainstream pornography viewer, ethics may not be something that comes to mind when you’re picking out masturbation material. This lack of thought is a result of the misrepresentation of sex work, coupled with the problematic ideology that unethical practices are just something that is both accepted and expected within the porn industry. Ethics should be the main priority in both the production and consumption of all pornography-sex work is work- and all people deserve to be treated as human beings at their job.

So, you want to get your sex therapist certification, but in-person classes aren’t a viable option in today’s world and it might not be right for your lifestyle or schedule in the future. If this sounds like you, we have great news! Sexual Health Alliance is currently offering sex therapist certification online.

Certified Sex Therapist and Sexual Health Alliance (SHA) founder Heather McPherson was a guest speaker on Nicoletta Heidegger’s podcast Sluts and Scholars. Podcast host Heidegger is a licensed marriage and family therapist and sex therapist; she chats with people from sexuality, kink, and professional spectrums about desire, pleasure, shame, and stigma around these issues. Guest McPherson begins the podcast by giving the audience a little taste of what SHA has to offer for its participants and students.

When becoming a Sex Therapist, it is vital that you first look within and be honest with yourself about the potential harmful ideologies we have picked up along our lifetime. Biases arise from our experiences and the information we gather in life, which is filtered through our identity and culture. Some of our biases are known to us and some are unknown or hidden. No one is immune to society's socialization tactics, however, it is our moral obligation as sex therapists to recognize, confront, and overcome these.

Dr. David Ley, clinical psychologist, sex therapist, and internationally recognized author, who specializes in sex-positive sex therapy and sexuality issues gave a two-day conference covering modern sexual issues in education and therapy. He began his lecture by emphasizing that we have allowed sexual shame, morality, and bias to intrude into our clinical thinking. Sexual health is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction, and infirmity, but how you engage in sex.

Midori, otherwise known as the “Supernova of Kink” (well if you are asking Dan Savage). Her fascinating career has lead her to be one of the most transformative individuals in the sexuality field. So, we decided to learn more about this captivating woman with a round of “20 questions”. Her charm and wit shine through even on paper (or computer screen). Now, let’s meet Midori.