Join Us for our NEXT Conference featuring Jet Setting Jasmine & Friends! This March 4th-5th, 2023
If you weren’t able to attend our May sex-positive parenting conference, don’t fret. We at SHA will share *some* of the key takeaways from the event with you! The main speaker at the conference was one of our favorite sexperts- Jasmine Johnson AKA Jet Setting Jasmine. For those who aren’t yet familiar with Jasmine’s work in the sex industry, she is co-owner of award-winning Royal Fetish Films, a licensed psychotherapist with a strong emphasis on intimacy post-injury or illness, and an educator in sex-positive parenting among other amazing things. Jasmine works alongside her partner King Noire, with whom she also parents her children. Jet Setting Jasmine and King Noire are the definition of a dynamic duo- they have managed to create a relationship rooted in both family and work that survives on pure trust. Together, Jet Setting Jasmine and King Noire create authentic pornography and incorporate that same sex-positive mindset into their parenting. The conference featured King Noire as a guest presenter, as well as his daughter with Jasmine, Mani, as well as many other guests such as Jessica Nater. Jasmine offered those who attended a look into her life as a performer, business owner, mother, and partner throughout the conference. She covered a lot of topics, ranging from how to parent children as a porn performer and producer, as well as…
Day One
Day one of the conference detailed how Jasmine and King raise their children and keep their family life strong while working in the adult entertainment industry. When referencing their sex-positive approach, Jasmine noted that “this whole thing is a continuum, and we keep evolving what that definition means in our household and what that means to different families.” The key takeaway from day one is most definitely related to this sentence- sex-positive parenting is not stagnant, it changes as your family changes! Jasmine talks of her own families mantra when it comes to sex-positive parenting:
“... centering body autonomy, personal pleasure, psychological and physical safety and accountable and responsible attitudes toward sex and intimacy, and will always include continuous age and stage appropriate conversations.”
Jessica Nater validated Jasmine’s approach and provided the following key points for sex-positive parenting:
Being transparent
Meeting your child where they are
Changing your approach as the industry changes and as your family changes
Make sure there is clear, age-appropriate communication
I would say that the above bullet points are the main key points from day one, as each presenter validated this approach to sex-positive parenting. After Jennifer Nater concluded her presentation, King Noire was brought onto the screen. He created some great discourse around shame and masturbation when it comes to how parents approach their children about the topic, as well as around his approach to parenting with Jasmine.
My personal favorite example was when Jasmine and King went over how they handled a situation with their middle daughter when she started singing the lyrics to the song “Drunk In Love” by Beyonce. They talked of how to set parental boundaries when it comes to song lyrics concerning sex and age-appropriateness for children. King notes that “... some kind of work is meant to be appreciated by adults” and Jasmine feels that a child can “...creatively use their own mind to create their own art out of something that is…” not appropriate for their household. The pair went on to role-play a lot of other useful situations that a parent may encounter as their child grows, Afterward, Jasmine introduced Dr. Nicole Crawford, a licensed clinical social worker Lucretia Johnson AKA Milo Sky who is an African-centered psychologist to talk about dating in a sex-positive way among other things. The women create discourse around dating, sex, and parenthood, providing some great advice throughout the conference about how to initiate a talk about dating (monogamous or polyamorous) with children. King Noire then came back in the spotlight with Jasmine discussing their lives as adult performers and parents. To conclude the day, Jasmine brought the discussion full circle by introducing her daughter Mani into the conference. Mani is an international traveler and is a professional speaker on sex-positivity. She presented alongside Jessica Nater and spoke on her mission of helping children who have parents who are porn performers.
Day Two
Day two of the conference started with a great infographic depicting all of the things you DON’T see in mainstream porn by Hazel Mead. I found this infographic to be a crucial takeaway from day two of the conference so do check it out! Jasmine expands upon the infographic by recalling a time when she was performing and she started her period and kept the cameras rolling. Jasmine notes that she does not think about her mainstream audience when filming a scene if something natural such as her period happens she is not going to edit that out, saying that “... if it’s a turn off then they can change it and they can go to something else…”. This is an important note that relates to sex-positive parenting because porn often serves as sex education for a lot of children. Porn should depict authentic sex and therefore should include things such as period sex, safe words, and actual un-edited human bodies. Mainstream porn, however, does not often depict this sentiment and a lot of the time sex workers are not given the respect they deserve. Jasmine notes that for a lot of porn performers, “we are creating art and there is a process of creating art.” This remark for me was very meaningful, as porn is sometimes viewed as something solely produced for the white straight male gaze but this isn’t *always* the case. Jasmine and King produce porn that is more centered around human sexuality as an art form and the conference was definitely centered around this.
Robin Williams was then introduced as a presenter, he and Jasmine did a live podcast during the conference! Robin Williams is a behavioral analyst and educator for students with disabilities, as well as the owner of a private practice that works on applied behavioral analysis, consulting, and direct service. Williams presented on cultural confidence and black families. Williams presented alongside her co-host Elkin Alfred, who has over 15 years of experience in education and human services. The two host a podcast called Black In the Days and it is most definitely worth checking out. Check out the podcast filmed during the conference if you truly want a look into a SHA conference! Williams also makes space for safe and unsafe sexual behaviors that therapists may notice in their clients. She notes that “everyone should have access to quality relationships…” but unfortunately this isn’t always the case. Williams’s mission is to help provide individuals with this relationship to help negate unsafe sexual behaviors and promote safe ones. She goes on to connect inappropriate and appropriate sexual behaviors with individuals who have disabilities and their exploration of sexuality. Williams provides us with the story of Ed, a man with a disability who was parented in a way that he was never taught to sexually express himself appropriately. Williams worked with his family to help Ed learn how to masturbate in a safe way as a sexual outlet to negate any inappropriate behaviors.
The next topic was LGBTQIA and family therapy with Rochelle Ramos a gender-queer sex therapist, and June Cabales, a mental health therapist who identifies as queer. They talk about how to support LGBTQIA youth in their family and community. I personally appreciated how June and Rochelle try to make room for a lot of different experiences within their presentation and did not limit their presentation to more common experiences. The pair also talked about supporting children outside of the gender binary and how important it is to take a step outside of mainstream media and dominant ideologies concerning heteronormativity and the gender binary. These images can often invalidate LGBTQIA experiences and how “the gender binaries are internalized” and can be harmful to not only children but society. After this, we moved into sexual disclosure conversations with family and heard from a lot of great voices concerning their sexual disclosure stories.
In Conclusion...
Overall, this conference was my personal favorite that I have ever attended! I was able to reflect a lot about my upbringing and recognize sources of both shame and positivity when it comes to the validation of my sexual identity by my family. This conference also reminded me of the importance of recognizing the role of sex workers role in parenting. Sex work is work, but the stigma behind it unfortunately still exists. For me, it was truly refreshing to hear from voices such as Jasmine Johnson and King Noire- it’s inspiring to know that there are parents out there who make it their mission to raise their kids in a sex-positive way. More than this, it’s refreshing to see a partnership in which there is a balance between sex work and family- a partnership that is rooted in trust and respect. Sex-positive parenting is an essential topic that all parents should explore- find what works for you and your family!
By: Alyssa Morterud