Smart Love & Inclusive Intimacy:
Supporting Queer Couples and Diverse Identities

with Dr. Joe Kort + expert guest speakers!

100% Online Conference

NOT LIMITED TO STUDENTS! ANYONE is welcome to join!

We are thrilled to announce that Dr. Joe Kort, a distinguished psychotherapist with a wealth of experience, will be a featured speaker at our Sexceptional Weekend Online. SHA welcomes Dr. Joe Kort back to our faculty to teach after not only teaching with Esther Perel, but also gaining his fame on TikTok!

As the clinical director and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan, Dr. Kort has dedicated 36 years to helping individuals and couples enhance their lives and strengthen their relationships. With expertise in a wide range of areas, from marital conflicts to sexual health, LGBTQIA affirmative therapy, and trauma recovery using EMDR, Dr. Kort's contributions to the field of psychotherapy are invaluable. He holds multiple certifications, is an accomplished author, and hosts the podcast series "Smart Sex, Smart Love."

Attendees will explore the rich intersections of sexuality, identity, and relationships through a series of powerful, affirming sessions led by leading experts in the field. Dr. Joe Kort will offer insights into the healing potential of Imago Therapy and spotlight the often-misunderstood identity of "Sides" in gay men’s sexual relationships. Dr. Lauren D. Costine challenges stereotypes around lesbian and queer women’s relationships, while Finn Deerhart invites gay men to cultivate intentional sexuality rooted in self-awareness and connection. 

Silva Neves reframes common misconceptions about gay men’s sexual behavior with a queer-affirming lens, and Dr. Christopher Wilson examines how patriarchal systems harm men’s emotional health and well-being. Brian McNaught closes the weekend with an empowering discussion on reconciling sex, spirituality, and self-worth. Together, these sessions create a space for personal growth, professional development, and deepened understanding of diverse experiences in sexual health and relationships.

Smart Love (Imago Relationship Theory)

Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) is a form of relationship therapy innovated by Harville Hendrix, author of “Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples,” and “Keeping the Love You Find: A Guide for Singles.” IRT integrates and extends the insights of the major western psychological systems, behavioral science and spiritual disciplines into a uniquely comprehensive and systemic theory of primary love relationships. Romantic Love is the door to committed relationship and/or marriage and is nature’s way of connecting us with the perfect partner for our eventual healing. We move into a power struggle as soon as we make a commitment to this person. The power struggle is necessary, for imbedded in a couple’s frustrations lie the information for healing and growth.

Pride of Sides:

Dr. Kort coined the term “side” in an article in the Huffington Post about gay men who don’t engage in penetration. The empowering term“sides” helps men overcome the derision often delivered by other gay men who consider being “tops” or “bottoms” the only “real sex” worth having. In this, In his latest book, Dr. Joe Kort shares his own story, and those of the countless men who have expressed their gratitude for finally being able to stand tall for their new identity. Dr. Kort started a Facebook group for other men that identify as Sides and the group has grown to almost 9,000 members so far.

“By coming up with ‘sides,’ Joe Kort gave gay men who don’t enjoy anal sex a positive way to describe themselves — instead of having to tell other gay guys what they aren’t (not a top, not a bottom, not vers). Thanks to Joe these guys now get to tell other gay men what they are: they’re sides.”
Dan Savage, Sex and Relationship Columnist and Podcaster

Dr. Lauren D. Costine, Ph.D.

Breaking the U-Haul Myth: Rethinking Lesbian and Queer Women's Relationship Dynamics

This talk explores the origins and cultural implications of the “U-Haul” stereotype in lesbian and queer women’s relationships. We’ll examine why this narrative persists, how it shapes expectations and behavior, and what the research really says about relationship pacing. Attendees will leave with a deeper understanding of intimacy, attachment, and the diverse realities of queer connection.

Finn Deerhart, CSC

Follow the Flame: Intentional Sexuality for Gay Men

Explore how desire, pleasure, and connection can be navigated with mindfulness and purpose. This session invites participants to reflect on what it means to cultivate an intentional sexual life—one rooted in self-awareness, agency, and authenticity. Through discussions on communication, boundary-setting, and pleasure literacy, this talk empowers gay men to embrace sexuality as a source of personal power and meaningful connection.

Silva Neves, Psychotherapist

Reframing Desire: Queer Perspectives on Gay Men’s Sexual Behavior and the Myth of Sex Addiction

This session challenges the pathologization of gay men’s sexuality by exploring how common sexual behaviors are often mislabeled as compulsive or addictive. With a lack of cultural competence around queer sexual norms, clinicians and communities may misinterpret high sexual desire, frequent partner change, or porn use through a heteronormative lens. This talk offers a queer-affirming framework to understand these behaviors as normative expressions of identity and desire—rather than signs of dysfunction. Attendees will gain tools to more accurately assess and support gay male clients with respect, context, and cultural sensitivity.

Dr. Christopher Wilson, PhD, LMFt

How the Patriarchy Negatively Impacts Men

While patriarchy is often discussed in terms of its effects on women and marginalized genders, it also imposes rigid expectations on men—limiting their emotional expression, creating pressure to conform to toxic masculinity, and discouraging vulnerability. This session explores how patriarchal systems negatively impact men’s mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. Participants will examine the ways in which dismantling these systems can lead to more authentic, connected, and fulfilling lives for men and those who love them.

Brian McNaught

Sex, God, and Self-Esteem

This thought-provoking session explores the intersection of sexuality, spirituality, and self-worth. Many people carry shame from religious or cultural messages that frame sex as sinful, dirty, or wrong—leaving lasting impacts on how they see themselves and their desires. Through a lens of healing and empowerment, this talk offers insights into how individuals can reconcile their sexual and spiritual identities, release shame, and rebuild self-esteem rooted in authenticity, pleasure, and personal truth.

SCHEDULE

SATURDAY, June 21st

START TIME: 10:00AM CST, 6:00 PM CST.

SUNDAY, June 22nd

START TIME: 10:00AM CST, 6:00 PM CST.

Use this world clock to find the corresponding time in your time zone!

WANT TO BECOME SHA CERTIFIED?:

Want to stop paying for conferences one by one and gain hours towards AASECT Certification too? This program can also be registered for and included as part of SHA’s full Sexuality Educator/Counselor/Sex Therapy Certification & Sexuality Consultant Program. Apply HERE to become SHA Certified and to gain all the CEs you need to apply towards AASECT Certification. Take your sexuality education even further and become sexceptional.

PRESENTERS

Joe Kort, Ph. D, LMSW

Psychotherapist Joe Kort, PhD, LMSW, is the clinical director and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. He is a board-certified clinical sexologist, author of four books, lecturer and facilitator of therapeutic workshops. Throughout his 36 years of private practice, he successfully has utilized varying therapy modalities to help hundreds of individuals and couples improve their lives and strengthen their relationships.

Dr. Kort specializes in marital problems and conflicts; mixed orientation marriages; male sexuality and sexual health concerns; “sex addiction,” out-of-control sexual behaviors; sexual identity issues; childhood sexual abuse; LGBTQIA Affirmative Therapy; and Imago Relationship Therapy.

He is trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing), a safe and effective treatment that can help patients who have suffered for years from anxiety, distressing memories, nightmares, insomnia, abuse or other traumatic events.

Dr. Kort obtained his undergraduate degree from Michigan State University in East Lansing, Michigan, with a dual major in psychology and social work. He earned master’s degrees in social work and psychology from Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan, and a doctorate (PhD) in Clinical Sexology from the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists.

Lauren Costine, Ph.D.

Dr. Lauren Costine, aka "Dr. Lauren," is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, relationship coach, and international presenter. She is the CEO and Clinical Director of Awaken Therapy Center, a holistic and intersectionally-oriented group practice she co-founded with her wife, Vanessa Costine. She was one of the founding members of Antioch University Los Angeles' LGBT Specialization and wrote Lesbian Love Addiction: Understanding the Urge to Merge and How to Heal When Things Go Wrong. Over the last several decades, she has been featured in numerous magazines and podcasts and offers several online coaching courses for lesbians and queer women looking to shift their dysfunctional relationship patterns and awaken to their authentic self.  Her websites are www.lovedrlauren.com and www.awakentherapycenter.com.

Silva Neves

Silva Neves is an award-winning and accredited psychotherapist, specializing in psychosexual therapy, relationship therapy, and the treatment of compulsive sexual behaviours. He is also a trauma-informed therapist with deep expertise in supporting survivors of sexual abuse.

Silva provides online psychotherapy sessions and offers clinical supervision for psychotherapists, psychologists, counsellors, and mental health professionals. He is a trusted voice in the field, serving on the editorial board of the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy and as a Clinical Associate with Pink Therapy.

He is the author of two influential books: Compulsive Sexual Behaviours: A Psycho-Sexual Treatment Guide for Clinicians (Routledge, 2021) and Sexology: The Basics (Routledge, 2023), both widely referenced in sexology and mental health education.

Silva delivers international clinical trainings on topics such as sexual health, intimacy and relationships, trauma, grief, and addictive sexual behaviour. He holds full professional insurance and received the Sexual Freedom Ally Award (2023) for his contributions to the field of sex therapy and sexology.

Christopher Wilson, PhD, LMFT

Christopher Wilson, PhD, LMFT, CST is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and Certified Sexologist with nearly 20 years of experience in mental health and social services. Originally from Oregon and now based in Philadelphia, Dr. Wilson is passionate about helping individuals and couples enhance their relationships, intimacy, and overall quality of life.

Christopher offers affirming, client-centered therapy with a collaborative approach. His sessions often incorporate humor, self-disclosure, and a blend of evidence-based therapeutic modalities tailored to each individual or couple. He is known for compassionately challenging clients to reexamine thought patterns, behaviors, and interpersonal dynamics.

As a Certified Sex Therapist, Christopher works extensively with LGBTQ+ clients, people navigating sexual dysfunction, non-monogamous and polyamorous relationships, and those living with HIV/AIDS. His clinical focus includes relational and intimacy concerns, especially among men and marginalized communities.

He holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and a Master’s in Family Therapy, both with a concentration in sex therapy. In addition to being an AAMFT Approved Supervisor, he is a Certified Health Education Specialist (CHES) and a seasoned educator and clinician.

Brian McNaught

Brian McNaught is widely regarded as one of the world's leading corporate diversity consultants specializing in LGBTQ+ workplace inclusion. Dubbed the "Godfather of gay diversity training" by The New York Times, Brian has been a trailblazer in advancing understanding and acceptance of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer individuals in corporate, academic, and faith-based spaces for over five decades.

Brian is the author of 13 influential books on LGBTQ+ topics, including On Being Gay, Gay Issues in the Workplace, and Brian McNaught’s Guide on LGBTQ Issues in the Workplace. His writing has been featured in college textbooks and national publications, and he penned a syndicated column in the gay press for 12 years. His groundbreaking video work, including Understanding and Managing Gay and Transgender Issues in the Workplace and Anyone Can Be an Ally, has been used in training across Fortune 100 companies and government agencies.

Since 1974, Brian has delivered dynamic presentations and trainings in North America, Europe, Asia, and Australia for organizations such as JP Morgan Chase, Goldman Sachs, NSA, Merck, SONY, Hewlett-Packard, and over 200 colleges and universities including Harvard, MIT, UCLA, and Indiana University. He has transformed corporate cultures, challenged institutional biases, and shared deeply personal insights to foster empathy and allyship.

Brian also played a historic role as the first full-time Liaison to the Gay and Lesbian Community for the Mayor of Boston, where he led groundbreaking responses to the AIDS crisis, conducted city-wide LGBTQ needs assessments, and developed The Boston Project, a seminal report on municipal inclusivity.

A certified sexuality educator through AASECT, Brian earned his B.A. in Journalism from Marquette University. He lives in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, with his husband, Ray Struble. His lifetime of activism, education, and personal courage continues to shape policies, attitudes, and lives around the world.

Finn Deerhart

Born a minister’s son in the Deep South, Finn grew up in a rigidly religious environment, struggling against the strong social conditioning and problematic relationship templates gay and queer men have inherited from society. At age 21, Finn became a trained minister, suppressing his true sexual identity and dividing himself into pieces on the inside. His innate eroticism led him through a labyrinth of self-deceit, a complicated double life, and at last, to a breaking point—a new beginning—that defined his own search for personal truth.

Once Finn had left the ministry and stepped “out of the closet,” he painfully accepted that his journey toward wholeness and authenticity was far from over. In fact, it had just begun. Within the very wounds of rejection, fear, and self-loathing, Finn has been uncovering the medicine for his own internal healing. He believes that it is through our own pain that we as LGBTQ people will transform ourselves, our communities, and our cultures at large. We will not rid ourselves of pain. But we can use our pain to make better sense of ourselves and the world.

Finn is an AASECT Certified Sexuality Counselor. Through his courses, workshops, retreats, and private sessions, men learn tools to confront their limitations, unravel internal narratives of shame, and spark deeper human connections—grounding themselves into a deeper experience of life. Finn creates educational erotic content and provides on-site erotic coaching for Himeros TV, an online service that offers explicit educational and entertainment content for queer men.