Midori, otherwise known as the “Supernova of Kink” (well if you are asking Dan Savage). Her fascinating career has lead her to be one of the most transformative individuals in the sexuality field. So, we decided to learn more about this captivating woman with a round of “20 questions”. Her charm and wit shine through even on paper (or computer screen). Now, let’s meet Midori.
How has your Japanese heritage inspired your art/work?
In my art as well as my teaching work, there’s a great deal of philosophical and life perspective from Japan that has seeped through and influenced me. That there is no singular “truth” in anything about humanity or nature…
How do you think shibari/sex culture in Japan differs from that in the states?
I think this essay I wrote answers that question! https://spectrumboutique.com/journal/article/the-history-myths-of-japanese-bondage/
What has been the boldest work you’ve done?
Deciding to create a full-time independent sex education career - utterly foolhardy and bold.
What brings you the most joy in a scene? Alternative wording: what is your favorite part of a scene?
This doesn’t always happen but when it does, it’s amazing. I enter a state of self-induced ‘visions’. At first, these just happened and I was baffled. I even wondered if it might have onset of schizophrenia - but then I realized that it would happen under conditions I’ve intentionally created where I am intensely present and can experience non-linear creativity. Since then I’ve been fostering and ‘practicing’ this for the last 20 years so it.
What is your advice for someone who is interested in BDSM?
BDSM - don’t forget that it’s Childhood joyous play with adult sexual privilege and cool toys.
What are some ways of making shibari more accessible/inclusive to different body types/skill levels?
Don’t take all the technocrats or the ‘recipes’ so seriously. It’s string. It’s rope. It’s meant to be totally adaptable. There’s no small-medium-large to rope. If you need more, add more. If you have too much, don’t use it. The point of rope bondage isn’t to perfectly replicate some formula. The point is to have fun. Focus on the fun.
That it’s become perceived as something for certain bodies or skills or flexibility is a modern thing. It’s probably due to some form of internet-based one-upmanship. If you can tie your shoelaces and you can have decent communication with your partner, you’ve got the basics of a hot rope date.
Tell us about yourself and your career
Originally from Tokyo, Japan, I emigrated to the US at the age of 14. I have a degree in psychology from Berkeley and served in the US Army.
I started quite accidentally in the very early ’90s, as a young woman exploring the San Francisco undergrounds - but this was the time of sex and death and AIDS pandemic. I talk about this time in greater detail in my TEDx talk ( https://youtu.be/jXiekEoMrvI ) I fell in with a group of people who were providing grassroots education and information in the gap that was left by public education and public health. These were the folks that eventually would be considered the “sex-positive movement” I trained with San Francisco Sex Information — which back then had a very rigorous training and SAR program. I began teaching publicly on my own in the mid-’90s.
I have been teaching, organizing, and educating since 1996, starting in San Francisco and then expanding through North America and around the world. Many of these classes were on BDSM skills which at one point people warned me would be detrimental to my career, but I taught them because I believed there was a critical need for people to know how to connect and explore in healthy ways.
In 2001 I authored the first English instruction book on Japanese bondage, influencing what would become the hugely popular kink style of today. I created a book that showed diversity in body types and relational dynamics in hopes that more people will find themselves reflected in the potential of this pleasure.
That same year I created Fire Horse Productions as my education company, offering a range of in-person workshops held in intentionally small and safe environments. Soon after, I developed Rope Dojo, the first multi-day intensive on shibari rope bondage. This event brings together multiple teachers from a variety of backgrounds in a cadre that supports in-depth learning, personal development, and ensures consent continues to be woven into the fabric of Rope culture.
In 2004, sensing a need for empowered and realistic kink education and increased confidence specifically for women, I founded ForteFemme: Women's Intensive. In a unique, small group environment women find their own voices and strength. We focus on exploring ethical power and leadership along with creative collaborative joy creation. This central philosophy extends beyond the bedroom to all aspects of the lives of the women the society around them. The members of the ForteFemme Alumnae Society are very active in taking this vision into making a better world for us. Prior to the pandemic, this Intensive ran 8x a year in two different cities with a waiting list built mostly of referrals from alumni.
Today, as I continue to teach and coach individuals, I am actively working with mental health providers, therapists, and therapist training organizations to increase education and cultural competency around alternative sexuality and compassion among clinicians.
What is your favorite and most cherished topic to present about and why?
I don’t have a specific one. I’m happy to meet the attendees where they’re at with topics that engage them. Engagement turns into active learning and sparking creativity is my delight. That means trying a whole lot of topics and finding out what each audience *really* wants - not just what they *say* they want.
As a prominent sexuality professional, you have made a wonderful career as a sex educator. What would you recommend to young educators or therapists wanting to follow in your footsteps?
Don’t. It’s a foolish path… and if they must, reframe your relationship with money and redefine what success means to you.
Tell us a little bit about your experience in San Francisco during the 90s.
Bit of the sexual wild west with a dark cloud of death hanging over us. Wild experimentation with the undertow of existential fervor.
Dan Savage once called you the “Supernova of Kink.” How do you feel you embody this title?
I take up a lot of space, and I’m full of gas. Probably a good idea to wear sunglasses around me.
What are your top three favorite hobbies outside of work?
Hiking, contemporary art museums, and foraging and finding wild foods
Who is your sexuality role model?
Yoko Ono or Carolee Schneeman
What inspires you to do the work that you’re doing?
I’ve never figured out what to do when I grow up, and otherwise, I’m unemployable. LoL
Also, I like to figure out the successful strategy substrates of ordinary people doing ordinary things creatively with joy - then to share that with others.
What would change and what would you keep the same about the way you experienced sex education in childhood?
I loved learning about sex ed through the lens of age-appropriate evolutionary biology. The super Big Picture! My sex ed started with the discussion of ecological balance and animal reproduction triggered from watching nature shows.
I remember in grade school the genders were separated so the girl children could learn about menstruation. That was dumb and shame enforcing. So counter-productive.
What is the most important piece about sex that you want all providers to know? What would you want them to incorporate into their practice?
The most important piece about all of sexuality for all the vast range of providers? I don’t know and it’s not my place to say.
And as for providers, their fields of expertise and focus are different. How do we even generalize this? I hardly know but a little sliver of the vastness of human sexuality, much less what other providers need to know.
What do I want people to add to their tool kit? Perhaps this… Learn how to notice when communications are based on assumptions. And… to understand that culture and heritage, even ones that don’t appear on the person’s day-to-day presentation, will powerfully impact their sexuality and relationship to other humans.
Can you briefly describe your “head-heart-hands” methodology?
A structure of sharing and learning that included theory (head), emotion, motivation and subjectivity (heart), and practical skills and bodily activities (hands)
What are 2 of the most important things you do everyday?
Find my glasses, drink tea