The idea that you should “love yourself” has been preached for years. We are taught to “love” our bodies and be positive about them, talking negatively about ourselves is frowned upon and shamed. In the context of sex, we are taught that confidence in our bodies is key, that if we feel self-conscious, we will have “bad sex.” The body positivity movement, an unofficial social media campaign that bases on loving your body no matter what, had good intentions, it has slowly turned to something far less inclusive. This article will look at the origins of ‘body positivity,’ and the way it has become flawed as time has passed, as well as discuss the increasing conversations around body neutrality.

The body positivity movement is more commonly associated with the late 2010s and boom of social media thanks to the tagging of photos with #BodyPositivity on Instagram. Whilst it is true that body positivity was picked up in the late 2000s, it actually began in the 1960s. In New York City, the “Fat Acceptance Movement” had begun, with the fundamental concept to campaign for the normalization of bigger bodies in society. The previous founding of the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) also boosted this interest in “fat liberation.” NAAFA states that their central philosophy was to “change society, not ourselves.” Again, while this movement started off well, there were obvious flaws and acts of prejudice that we can still see today. NAAFA chair Tigress Osborn recalls that “many white activists believed that because Black communities and other communities of color seemed to be more accepting of fat people, that meant fat people of color simply didn’t need fat activity.” This is an entirely false notion which can still be seen today in the body positivity movement. Developments in the growth of media allowed for the spread of the body positivity movement, plus size models were now appearing on billboards in Times Square as well as campaigns appearing on social media such as Tess Holliday’s #EffYourBeautyStandards campaign in 2013.

The majority of us probably spend little time considering the lives of our sex toys or how they came to be, however, after looking into the history of the Hitachi Magic Wand, it became clear that most popular sex toys have lived interesting lives, with histories that go beyond the need for self-pleasure. Arguably, after the magic wand, the rabbit vibrator is the most iconic vibrator. According to Cosmopolitan, “...the Rabbit vibrator is one of the few recognizable sex toys out there.” This sex toy was featured on Sex and The City, leading Charlotte into a masturbatory sexual awakening.! The rabbit vibrator is one of those sex toys that offer both clitoral and penetrative stimulation, making it a great toy to have in your arsenal. The vibrator is composed of “...an internal shaft for vaginal stimulation, and an external set of Rabbit-ears (though more modern design sometimes goes with a singular, wider, clitoral stimulator fin) that stimulate your clitoris.” There have been multiple different versions of the Rabbit but every model contains this sort of dual stimulation that allows for intense pleasure. Overall, this vibrator was revolutionary as it was the first dual stimulating vibrator that was on the market. The history of the Rabbit is one that involves obscenity laws, revolutionizing female pleasure, and normalizing female masturbation.

Sharing intimate media, sometimes called “sexting,” can be a special way to connect with other people, particularly one’s sexual partners, that is exclusive to the digital age. It is not always safe, though, and unfortunately can be manipulated by others with the speed and insecurity of the internet. Media shared with others or stolen off of personal devices can be distributed easily and quickly without the consent of the subject, which can lead to a number of personal damages including job insecurity, personal strife, and loss of family and friends. Nonconsensual pornography is defined as the sharing of sexually explicit content without the subject’s consent. This can take the form of photographs taken by the subject or of the subject, video recordings of the same nature, and hidden cameras, and is sometimes referred to as “revenge porn.” The center Love is Respect categorizes revenge porn as digital and sexual abuse, citing the manipulation and extortion that is exercised over another person.

Intimacy and bonding are essential for a healthy relationship. Furthermore, the act of touch significantly benefits both our health and happiness. Affection and physical contact boosts oxytocin levels, which boosts our happiness as well as enhances our bonding experiences. There are endless benefits to touch and non-sexual intimacy, this can be defined as any intimate act that is not sexual. You can curl up on the sofa with your friend to watch the latest episode of Stranger Things, engage in debate about the afterlife with a classmate, or vent about your stressful day at work to your sister. These acts of non-sexual intimacy are not restrained to being in a relationship. What is crucial is setting up boundaries and having clear consent before participating in non-seuxal intimacy. This could mean asking someone if the topic of debate is triggering for them, or making sure someone is comfortable with being held before you step forwards to hug them. Creating a safe and comfortable environment will increase the positive effects of non-sexual intimacy, allowing all involved to feel loved and engaged in the relationship.

Recently out of a relationship, I am in the stage of “self-improvement” where I’m listening to baddie playlists (check out this one on Spotify), scrolling the dating apps, and hitting the gym. While walking on the treadmill– yes, walking– I found myself wondering how I could maximize this workout phase and prepare myself for the dating scene in my future. Here, the theme of “sex workouts” was born. There just had to be lists of exercises out there that could up my game in the bedroom. Turns out, I was right, and gym rats everywhere have been sharing their tips for strengthening your bedroom game.

Exercise, as we all know, has countless benefits. Framing it through a sexual performance lens, regular (and heart-pumping!) movement can greatly increase your stamina for longer sessions, targets muscle groups that aid in sexual performance, and produce hormones that deepen your eventual sexual gratification. Working out in general, especially cardio workouts that raise your heart rate, can increase your stamina and make you equipped to extend the length of your romp in the hay. “Lasting longer” isn’t just postponing the release of your orgasm; it’s preparing your body for the physical strength of active sex. I won’t pretend that longer sex equates to better sex, but winded, exhausted sex certainly doesn’t fall at the top of the sexual performance food chain.

No matter what your intimate life looks like, sex games can be an exciting way to switch up your routine and deepen your connection with your sexual partners. From card games designed to explore turn-ons and desires to complex board games that will be the centerpiece of a sexy game night, these products will put a spin on the typical “Spin the Bottle” games. This list supports women, queer, and BIPOC-owned brands designed to include diversity in identities and attractions.

Period synching involves the idea that people who menstruate and spend a lot of time with each other, may find that their periods begin to start at the same time. A study conducted in 1999 revealed that 70% of participants have had personal experience with period synching. Many menstruating people will also attest to this, however, science and research does not (yet) seem to be able to back this. So what is the truth?

The idea of period synching (also known as menstrual synchrony) comes from a 1971 study by psychologist Martha McClintock. The research was based on studying a group of 135 women who lived in a college dorm. I must note that as is the case with most early studies, this collection of people–young women in college in the seventies–is exclusionary and underrepresenting of all peoples. Over the course of the study, it was found that period synchronization had increased among roommate and close friends, but not between random women who had not spent time together.

If you’ve seen the film version of Fifty Shades of Grey, you’ll remember the main characters walking around a hardware store and suggestively picking out everyday items that could be used for BDSM. BDSM includes six main components: bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism. The bondage component usually requires some outside tools to tie up or restrain one or more partners. In the film, Anastasia (played by Dakota Johnson) works at the store while Christian Grey (played by Jamie Dornan) asks for cable ties, masking tape, and rope, all while making searing eye contact. While this movie takes a considerably blunt heterosexual and slightly boring perspective on BDSM, queer women everywhere know that there’s nothing sexier than Dakota Johnson in a hardware store.

Visiting your local hardware store for kinky tools is actually really resourceful. There are a plethora of sex toy sites or sex shops that sell bondage and kink items, but it’s not always necessary to buy them from these places. Many of these items are essentially household objects, but with a flashy label and a huge price increase. Unless you’re supporting a queer- or BIPOC- owned small business like these, consider taking a do-it-yourself approach and pick up some staples from your local hardware or utility store.

My entire life I’ve struggled with hormone imbalances. When I was 11, I remember my pediatrician running blood tests on me as a child and finding out that my testosterone and estrogen levels were abnormally high. However, at the time, they brushed it off and said it was probably because I would soon go through puberty. When I was 17, I went to the pediatrician again for intense cramping in my lower side; she ordered an ultrasound and it was discovered that I had cysts on my ovaries. She told me it was nothing to worry about and that they would go away. When I was 20, I went to the gynecologist with concerns about painful periods, weight gain, and excessive hair growth. She told me it was normal and that maybe I should try the birth control pill. I fought with her to prescribe me an ultrasound and hormone testing. My hormone levels were even more off-balanced than they were when I was 11 and my ovaries still had cysts. She told me that her only treatment option for me was birth control. I knew high testosterone and estrogen coupled with painful periods, excessive hair growth, and unexplained weight gain were not normal, but I had trouble finding a doctor who wouldn't brush off my concerns.

Finally, at 21 years old, I found a functional health doctor who understood and validated my concerns. He ran an extensive hormone analysis on me along with an organic acids test and the results were quite literally off of the charts. My testosterone and estrogen levels were sky high and I had an abnormal level of androgens in my blood. These test results coupled with my irregular periods, excessive hair growth, and ovarian cysts clearly spelled out one diagnosis: PCOS, or Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Why had it taken me a decade to get diagnosed with a condition I had been suffering from since I hit puberty? Why is it so common for doctors to often brush off a woman’s concern regarding her health? These questions are ones that I ask myself daily, but they aren't the purpose of this blog post.

The Coronavirus pandemic and subsequent switch to online working has seen a dramatic increase in the amount of people experiencing high levels of stress and burnout. Despite lockdown rules being relaxed and work returning to normal, burnout is still just as prevalent. Burnout can have a significant emotional and physical impact on the individual, the emotional exhaustion that stems from it and result in a shift in the way sex is percieved or prioritised. By taking on ideas from Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, this article will explore how burnout affects sex, and the ways to complete the stress and burnout cycle. Although this definition was originally only inclusive in the workplace, it has since been expanded to all situations. Just as your job can result in stress and burnout, parenting or taking care of a sick relative can result in burnout too. Emily and Amelia, twin sisters, note that in men burnout tends to manifest as depersonalization. For women, however, emotional exhaustion is the most prevalent sign of burnout. “Human giver syndrome” is a further reason why women are far more likely to experience emotional exhaustion and in turn, burnout. In a podcast on the effects of burnout in the perinatal/postpartum period, Emily defines “human giver syndrome” as being the “moral imperative for women to be calm and pretty and attentive to the needs of others at all times. Any attention to yourself is deemed as selfish. Your job is to give your body, and your time to others.” This is especially true in motherhood where the needs of others are expected to be a constant priority over the mothers personal needs.

The Hitachi magic wand is one of the most iconic vibrators. The toy has been around since the ‘60s, and it was not always used as a sex toy; in fact, it was not initially created for that purpose. The Hitachi Magic Wand story first began when Japanese company Hitachi introduced their original personal massager to the American consumer market in 1968 as the 'Hitachi Magic Wand', also known as the 'Hitachi Massager'. It was a vibrator with an electrical power cord that was marketed as a ‘back massager’ that helped combat sore and aching muscles as well as provide all-over body relaxation. Over time, the Hitachi Magic Wand had morphed into a sleeker-looking, extremely sought-after product for women who would use it primarily for personal pleasure as a vibrator. It was touted as a must-have item by numerous well-known and influential sex therapists, recommended by them to women and couples wanting to improve their sex life.

The device most definitely helps to soothe more than just an achy back—the wand is a very functional clitoral vibrator and has been accredited with helping a lot of vulva-owners reach orgasm. Its discreet appearance as a household item is perhaps the reason for much of its early success amongst women-in-the-know, and the fact that it wasn't overly phallic freed it from perpetuating the belief that women needed a dick inside them to feel pleasure. Not only was it easier for women to buy (What if they really just wanted to soothe their sore necks?), but the type of orgasm the toy provided was solely about a woman's pleasure, not the penetrative sex that is unfortunately so often the expected and depicted in most popular culture examples.

For successful and sexually healthy relationships, boundaries exist between partners and within the relationship. These boundaries, as is obvious, function in various forms and vary from person to person, couple to couple. couple. One of these One boundary many couples find themselves facing is the placement of pornography consumption by partners in the relationship. Due to the at-times controversial nature of pornography, this conversation you have with your partner on it may be awkward or difficult. Whilst some people are completely on board with watching pornography in a relationship, other’s are not as comfortable with this idea. Both opinions are valid in themselves, however, those who prefer not to have pornography exist in the confines of their relationship may have a difficult time expressing their feelings. A Bustle article explains that this is due to the way “we’ve somehow evolved into a society where an aversion to porn is something that makes you different and frankly, wrong.” Although watching and enjoying porn is a legitimate choice, the choice to avoid or be against pornography is equally as valid of a choice.

The ethics of watching porn outside of a relationship can be questioned, especially in terms of ‘feminist’ or ethical pornography, there are further debates that take place when porn is consumed within a relationship. “Watching and getting off to porn is a sex act. And when you’re in a relationship, one of the things you have to clearly define is what sex acts you are and aren’t comfortable with.” In a healthy sexual relationship, desires and limitations should be discussed. You may be excited by erotic asphyxiation, but if your partner isn’t, you wouldn’t and shouldn’t force them to partake in this and any act that they are uncomfortable with. Pornography is the same in the way it is a personal choice. You may not be comfortable partaking in wax play, even if your partner expresses they really enjoy it, you may feel uncomfortable with your partner using pornography as a masturbation aid. In terms of sexual boundaries, “what your partner does sexually—even when you’re not there—affects you, and affects the relationship.”

It is common for penis-owners to develop depression, erectile dysfunction, and a loss of sex drive as they age. This is typically seen when they reach their late 40s or early 50s. This can be referred to as andropause, or in other words, “male menopause.” The term male menopause, however, can be misleading. It causes issues in the way “it suggests the symptoms are the result of a sudden drop in testosterone in middle age, similar to what occurs in the female menopause. This is not true.” This confusion and uncertainty on the truth of male menopause will be explored in this article. The effect of a lack of discussion of menopause can be seen clearly in the workplace, especially in terms of menopause and sick pay. Menopause is seen as an insufficient reason for taking time off work, meaning many facing the effects of it are faced with having to work whilst experiencing symptoms of menopause. Others have no choice but to leave their workplace entirely. Issues with menopause and the workplace will be discussed later on in this article.

Changes in hormones are a natural part of aging; for penis-owners, as they age, they may experience a decrease in testosterone levels, resulting in physical and emotional changes. This change in hormone levels is not equivalent to the hormone changes in women. In vulva-owners, after ovulation ends, hormone production levels plummet significantly in a short period of time—this is known as menopause. For those with a penis, this decline in hormones is not as dramatic. The decline in testosterone is steady, around 1-2% a year from the age of 30-40. Most older penis-owners still have testosterone levels within the normal range, with an estimation that only 10-25% have low testosterone levels. Because of this steady fall, low testosterone levels in older penis-owners often go unnoticed. Although hormone levels can be checked by blood tests, they are not routinely done.

When breakups occur, partners may feel a variety of different emotions, particularly related to the losses they are experiencing. While the loss of a friend and romantic partner is most frequently expressed in the media, the loss of a reliable sexual partner is often overlooked. This desire to have positive sexual contact and form bonds of trust and sexual compatibility is completely valid, and a very important part of a relationship for many people. Breakups bring change, and one of those changes for those who engage in sex is a change in sexual habit and practice, especially from long-term partners who have established routines and know each others’ sexual interests.

Post-breakup, partners may experience different sexual desires. Some may seek an increase in sex with new partners, while others may focus on themselves in this new period of being single. Seeking more sex is often referred to as “rebound sex,” which is controversial in its practice. On one hand, getting intimate with a new person can redirect negative emotions and serve as a distraction from the thoughts surrounding your breakup. The results of sex, such as the release of hormones like oxytocin and achieving orgasm, can have a positive impact on your body and its function. Especially in the cases of heartbreak, moving on with new partners can help you to see that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel in the negative emotions of the breakup. Exploring intimacy with a new person can give you hope that you will be able to move on from your previous relationship and enjoy being single or enter into new relationships.

Music, a means of self-exploration and self-expression, has always been intrinsically linked with a diversity of identities. Before there were “queer pop stars” there were those who pushed the limits of gender, shocked and supported audiences through their songs, and represented fans who identified with them. There’s an argument to be made about the music industry as queer media, but at the minimum it is a place in which queer artists and queer listeners engage and interact, creating community spaces in their fanbases. The music industry has changed so much over its lifespan, so for the sake of brevity, we’ll look at the current subsection of music, from the early 2000s to today. In a similar way, the LGBTQ+ community is so expansive and can never be defined by one word, but for the phenomenon of non-straight or non-cis fans of pop culture and music, I’ll refer to them as “queer.”

Some of the most popular musicians in the past few years have been straight artists– confirmed or implied– with a significant portion of queer listeners. Typically, these genres are pop and rap, although this trend is not limited to these categories. In the past two decades, Britney Spears has remained an icon to the queer community, primarily for queer men.

Many people are familiar with the pain of urinary tract infections (UTIs), there is nothing worse than having that moment of realization on the toilet that you have contracted a UTI. They are uncomfortable, painful, and honestly just suck. Unfortunately, there is a limited acknowledgment of UTIs in the sex education system, and due to the taboo nature of it, UTIs aren’t something encouraged to talk about publicly and openly. This article will go into detail about the causes, symptoms, and treatments of UTIs—covering what you should have been taught in sex education.

The first thing to note is that UTIs are not limited to vagina owners, those with a penis can just as easily contract a UTI in the urethra. UTIs are mostly caused by bacteria generating an infection in your urinary tract, though fungi and other viruses can also cause UTIs. In the vast majority of cases, UTIs only affect the urethra and bladder, known as the lower tract. In more rare and severe cases, UTIs can affect the ureters and kidneys, otherwise known as the upper tract. UTIs do have the ability to spread, so it is essential you have a UTI treated as soon as possible. If left untreated, a lower tract infection can spread to the kidneys.

Sex education has taught us that puberty takes place between the ages of 8-14, that it is when you hit puberty that you change from a child to an adult. Changes to your mind and body do not stop at 14, studies have shown that the brain continues to develop well into your 20’s. These changes are all a normal part of maturing, and it is because of these sometimes sudden and drastic changes that the term “second puberty” has surfaced on social media sites. This article will aim to look at what the second puberty encounters, and whether it really is a thing.

Because “second puberty” is not a medical term, there is no official definition that describes when or why it occurs. Instead, second puberty is a slang term that refers to the changes that happen post-adolescence.. People may further use the words in a different way to refer to different time periods such as the transition from 20s to 30s. I found myself going through a huge change in my body between the ages of 18-21, and this felt far more drastic compared to my puberty at aged 15. So what signs are there of going through second puberty?

The concept of love languages was developed by Gary Chapman in his book: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. In the book, he described the five styles of communicating love. These categories have been based on his experience in marriage counseling. Each person has different preferences in the way they communicate love and wish to receive it. This article will explore the love languages, how to demonstrate them, and the validity behind them.

Working out your love language can be a great way to connect with your partner and find out ways to strengthen your relationship. The online quiz is free and easy to use. It is quick and simple, as well as gives you a breakdown of your connection to each love language. There have been debates on the scientific validity of love languages, for example Stefani Goerlich, psychotherapist, points out that the love languages were not based on clinical research. However, Goerlich has found that using the love languages as a framework can help couples to learn how to communicate better about their needs. “I have found that 8 out of 10 times, whatever the issues are that my client-couples bring to the table, they are rooted in a fundamental misalignment in how each partner gives and receives love.”

Some chronic ailments, such as vaginitis, chronic yeast infections, or chronic urinary tract infections, can impact the vagina, some of which are treatable and some of which are not. Many individuals have voiced their struggles with some of these conditions, which are relatively common. One chronic vaginal illness that you may not have heard of, though, is called vulvodynia. For those of us who may lack knowledge regarding the female anatomy, the external female genital area is called the vulva. It’s common for vagina owners to experience pain in the vulva region, but such pain becomes an issue if it lasts longer than three months. If you find yourself experiencing pain in the vulva region for an extended period of time, it’s worth researching on your own and asking your doctor about vulvodynia. The condition is most commonly described as burning, stinging, irritation, and rawness. Aching, soreness, throbbing, and swelling also may be felt. The entire vulva may be painful, or pain may be centered in a specific area. Symptoms of vulvodynia may be constant, or they may come and go.

Vulvodynia, simply put, is chronic vulvar pain without an identifiable cause. The location, constancy, and severity of the pain vary among sufferers. Some vulva-owners experience pain in only one area of the vulva, while others experience pain in multiple areas. One woman reported her pain felt like “acid being poured on [their] skin,” while another described it as “constant knife-like pain.” There are two main subtypes: localized and generalized vulvodynia, which sometimes co-exist. Localized vulvodynia is when the pain occurs on one side or specific part of the vulvar region. This type of pain is typically brought on by touch or after any sort of pressure is applied to the area. Local vulvodynia pain can be brought on by sexual intercourse, tampon insertion, or by tight fitting pants. General vulvodynia is when pain occurs spontaneously without any true known trigger. The pain itself is relatively constant, but it’s possible that there can be some periods of relief. Activities that apply pressure to the area, such as sitting for a prolonged period of time or having sexual intercourse, can exacerbate symptoms.

Two years after the start of the global pandemic, we now find ourselves slowly re-establishing the community and socialization that we have lacked thus far, but in doing so, we find that some parts of the previous world did not make it through with us. Somewhere along the way, queer nightlife spaces have fallen to the wayside, pushed out of business from financial hardship or replaced with larger businesses. As of 2022, less than two dozen lesbian bars remain in the United States. This article examines the history of queer bars, considers the newer online spaces as potential replacements for this lack of physical space, and the hopeful rebirth of the queer bar.

The earliest known lesbian bars in the US date back to the 1930s following the repeal of Prohibition with New York’s Mona 440 Club and Chicago’s Roselle Inn. With the advent of legislation preventing people from “cross-dressing” and the necessitated secrecy of queer attraction for fear of violence, these nightlife spaces became a refuge for queer people. These spots even became places of activism, wherein people would recruit for movements and decompress after protests. While in some ways, these spaces served as a safe place to express one’s identity, they did not always function as such for different kinds of people. Katherine Ott from the Smithsonian noted historical biphobia, racism, and ableism within these bars saying, “The bars were never a perfect solution to all of the discrimination and hate. Inside the bars, or inside the groups of women who went to the bars, was all the shit that was happening outside.” In 2022, the hope is that those queer nightlife spaces that remain are inclusive to all people regardless of other identity factors.