Erotic asphyxiation (EA) is the official term for breath play, it involves intentionally cutting off the air supply for either yourself or your partner via choking, suffocating, and other acts. It does, however, pose a lot of risks that do not tend to be addressed in mainstream media, nor portrayed in a safe manner through pornography. Erotic asphyxiation can be extremely dangerous if the correct precautions are not taken. Janet Brito, a specialist in sex therapy, quotes that “EA is truly very risky and may lead to serious injury, including cardiac attest, brain damage from lack of oxygen, and death”. There is no way to practice breath play that is 100% safe as all types of breath play pose different risks e.g. using your hands versus using a belt.
People enjoy participating in breath play for a plethora of reasons. Physiological reasons are one of the most common ones, as mentioned previously during breath play you or your partner may have oxygen restricted from the brain. When oxygen levels are low, you may begin to feel lightheaded or dizzy. But when the pressure is released there is a rush of oxygen and blood, this is also accompanied by a rush of the release of dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins which can cause ‘head-spinning exhilaration’. For others, there may be psychological reasonings for wanting to participate in erotic asphyxiation. Breath play can be heavily involved in the power play, with the idea of the controller choking and the control being choked. Similar to physiological reasonings, some may want to enjoy erotic asphyxiation for physical reasons. In the immediate aftermath of suffocating, your body may confuse the rush of endorphins and hormones as a positive and pleasurable thing. However, in reality, those hormones were caused by your body's protective reaction. In the crossfire of emotions and pleasure, these sensations may come across as ‘pain is pleasure’ rather than warning signals from your brain and body.
Auto asphyxiation or autoerotic asphyxiation is the term for doing breath play on yourself, however, this is significantly more dangerous and doesn’t tend to be encouraged. People who practice solo breath play may try to create a ‘fail safe’. This may include the use of creating a knot that is meant to give away if you pull too hard. Though these strategies are designed to prevent death, many fail. Auto asphyxiation is estimated to have caused 250-1000 deaths per year in the United States. Breath play can still be dangerous when with a partner, if you and your partner have not researched EA or had experience before with it, you may not recognise when the choking or strangulation has gone too far.
Healthline claims that responsible breath play comes down to three primary things: 1) You need to educate yourself about the anatomy of the neck, head, and chest before attempting breath play. By learning anatomy, you will become familiar with and know the importance of proper hand placement, or where to place other restraints. 2) Communicate! Specify boundaries and other nonverbal cues such as tapping three times on your partner’s hand if you want them to stop. 3) Consent. You and your partner MUST discuss your boundaries before you are in the moment; consent should also be given at each stage of play. Remember that neither you nor your partner can provide proper consent when incapacitated by drugs or alcohol. Furthermore, drugs and alcohol use during breath play can increase the chances of injuries and complications.
If attempting to choke via hands, pressure should be put on the OUTSIDE of the throat in order to cut off air. This can make breathing difficult and can lead to the usual feel-good symptoms of breath play. You should never press directly on top of the throat, additionally avoid intense pressure on the trachea or Adam’s apple. If attempting strangulation through other instruments, it can quickly become dangerous. If the pressure is too great or goes on for too long, it can cause cardiac arrest, even death. In order to prevent this, it is imperative to leave at least two fingers’ width between the neck and the apparatus used.
Smothering is another use of breath play, a popular example of this is having your partner sit on your face. Practicing this alone is highly dangerous as you may pass out before you can remove the obstruction. Smothering can be safer with a partner, but before taking part, a safe work or safe signal must be created to indicate when the pressure is too great.
A great and reliable resource to learn how to perform erotic asphyxiation and other kinky things in a safe and proper manner is Kink Academy. The online platform provides over 2000 videos and has over 140 sex and sexuality educators. Videos available go through broad topics: this can range from learning how to clean your sex toys, to electrical play, to hypnosis play. The website further provides videos and guidance on relationships as a whole, consent, sex and disabilities, and learning how to be confident with your sexuality.
Always be aware of the risks before attempting erotic asphyxiation, remember that most doctors will advise against the practice because there is no way to practice it that does not carry any risk at all. Most importantly, educate both yourself and anyone else you are practicing erotic asphyxiation with in order to make it as safe as possible. Know your boundaries and respect theirs, some people may not want to participate in breath play and that is okay! If you’re interested in learning more about the world of kink, check out SHA’s Kink-Informed Certificate program taught by the Supernova of Kink herself, Midori.
By Stephanie McCartney