The concept of love languages was developed by Gary Chapman in his book: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. In the book, he described the five styles of communicating love. These categories have been based on his experience in marriage counseling. Each person has different preferences in the way they communicate love and wish to receive it. This article will explore the love languages, how to demonstrate them, and the validity behind them.

Working out your love language can be a great way to connect with your partner and find out ways to strengthen your relationship. The online quiz is free and easy to use. It is quick and simple, as well as gives you a breakdown of your connection to each love language. There have been debates on the scientific validity of love languages, for example Stefani Goerlich, psychotherapist, points out that the love languages were not based on clinical research. However, Goerlich has found that using the love languages as a framework can help couples to learn how to communicate better about their needs. “I have found that 8 out of 10 times, whatever the issues are that my client-couples bring to the table, they are rooted in a fundamental misalignment in how each partner gives and receives love.”

Some chronic ailments, such as vaginitis, chronic yeast infections, or chronic urinary tract infections, can impact the vagina, some of which are treatable and some of which are not. Many individuals have voiced their struggles with some of these conditions, which are relatively common. One chronic vaginal illness that you may not have heard of, though, is called vulvodynia. For those of us who may lack knowledge regarding the female anatomy, the external female genital area is called the vulva. It’s common for vagina owners to experience pain in the vulva region, but such pain becomes an issue if it lasts longer than three months. If you find yourself experiencing pain in the vulva region for an extended period of time, it’s worth researching on your own and asking your doctor about vulvodynia. The condition is most commonly described as burning, stinging, irritation, and rawness. Aching, soreness, throbbing, and swelling also may be felt. The entire vulva may be painful, or pain may be centered in a specific area. Symptoms of vulvodynia may be constant, or they may come and go.

Vulvodynia, simply put, is chronic vulvar pain without an identifiable cause. The location, constancy, and severity of the pain vary among sufferers. Some vulva-owners experience pain in only one area of the vulva, while others experience pain in multiple areas. One woman reported her pain felt like “acid being poured on [their] skin,” while another described it as “constant knife-like pain.” There are two main subtypes: localized and generalized vulvodynia, which sometimes co-exist. Localized vulvodynia is when the pain occurs on one side or specific part of the vulvar region. This type of pain is typically brought on by touch or after any sort of pressure is applied to the area. Local vulvodynia pain can be brought on by sexual intercourse, tampon insertion, or by tight fitting pants. General vulvodynia is when pain occurs spontaneously without any true known trigger. The pain itself is relatively constant, but it’s possible that there can be some periods of relief. Activities that apply pressure to the area, such as sitting for a prolonged period of time or having sexual intercourse, can exacerbate symptoms.

Two years after the start of the global pandemic, we now find ourselves slowly re-establishing the community and socialization that we have lacked thus far, but in doing so, we find that some parts of the previous world did not make it through with us. Somewhere along the way, queer nightlife spaces have fallen to the wayside, pushed out of business from financial hardship or replaced with larger businesses. As of 2022, less than two dozen lesbian bars remain in the United States. This article examines the history of queer bars, considers the newer online spaces as potential replacements for this lack of physical space, and the hopeful rebirth of the queer bar.

The earliest known lesbian bars in the US date back to the 1930s following the repeal of Prohibition with New York’s Mona 440 Club and Chicago’s Roselle Inn. With the advent of legislation preventing people from “cross-dressing” and the necessitated secrecy of queer attraction for fear of violence, these nightlife spaces became a refuge for queer people. These spots even became places of activism, wherein people would recruit for movements and decompress after protests. While in some ways, these spaces served as a safe place to express one’s identity, they did not always function as such for different kinds of people. Katherine Ott from the Smithsonian noted historical biphobia, racism, and ableism within these bars saying, “The bars were never a perfect solution to all of the discrimination and hate. Inside the bars, or inside the groups of women who went to the bars, was all the shit that was happening outside.” In 2022, the hope is that those queer nightlife spaces that remain are inclusive to all people regardless of other identity factors.

Historically pronouns have been wrongfully linked to the gender binary with many individuals being taught that people only use the set of pronouns that match their biological sex that they were assigned at birth. Luckily, as time has gone on, society has become more educated on the proper use of pronouns, although there is most certainly more work to be done. Pronouns should not be tied to the gender binary as they are used to represent a person’s gender identity, which exists outside of the traditional gender binary. Since most of us lack inclusive sex education, it’s vital that we continue to educate ourselves so we can respect the identities of ourselves and those around us. Gender identity can be defined as the following: “...one's own internal sense of self and their gender, whether that is man, woman, neither or both. Unlike gender expression, gender identity is not outwardly visible to others.”

When it comes to enhancing your education on the world of gender identity, educating yourself on the use and purpose of pronouns is a great place to start. It’s important to remember that when someone asks you to use their pronouns, they ask for you to acknowledge and respect their identity. Using the wrong pronouns when referring to someone can cause gender dysphoria, feelings of exclusion, and alienation. Additionally, it is never valid to assume someone’s gender; doing so operates on privilege as someone’s outward appearance does not always relate to their gender identity in terms of gender binary stereotypes. Male/female stereotypes are harmful and perpetuate the idea that one’s body should match their gender identity. This is not the case and “choosing to ignore or disrespect someone’s pronouns is not only an act of oppression but can also be considered an act of violence.”

“Platonic,” according to Merriam Webster, is derived in reference to the philosopher Plato, who wrote about love in all forms. Originally, this work referred to non-sexual romantic relationships and was used to degrade such partnerships, but it developed into a term for a close relationship without sexual or romantic love. Now, we use “platonic” to refer to close friendships without sexual or romantic connotations, but also to describe types of touching. For example, we might refer to hand-holding or cuddling as platonic when done with our friends, even when these same actions with a partner are romantic.

These touches and physical connections–sexual or not–are valuable. They produce a hormone called oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone,” increases bonding with the other person and positive emotions for all involved. A diversity of needs can be met through platonic intimacy. For one, you can strengthen your friendships by bringing in physical connection, which can increase your comfortability with each other as well. Toxic forms of masculinity can be challenged through vulnerability and connection between men, opening up the possibility of fostering intimate friendships. People are also able to meet their own needs for touch without relying on a romantic or sexual partner, which can be especially valuable for those exploring their independence or who are unable to sustain a relationship. Meeting these needs strengthens friendships and creates space for shared connection and intimacy.

Sex podcasts are like listening to your coolest friends’ dish about their relationship drama and sex life. There’s nothing more entertaining (and educational!) than listening to a great episode about new sex positions, tips for more pleasurable oral sex, or experimenting with consensual non-monogamy. But even some of the most popular podcasts lack a fundamental understanding of the importance of non-sexual discussion along with these various tips and tricks. There is a critical connection between mental and emotional health and physical responses, so you really can’t talk about sex without talking about the whole person. This is where the podcast “Sex with Emily” by Dr. Emily Morse excels; she takes all of the exciting and interesting information that we expect from a sex podcast and interchanges it with valuable insight into caring for ourselves and our partners as humans, not just sexual beings.

With her Doctorate in Human Sexuality, Morse opened a sex therapy practice and began podcasting, which lead to her hefty social media following on platforms including Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. She is known for hosting the longest-running, most successful sexuality podcast online which features a Hotline (559-TALKSEX) for listener questions and concerns. Episodes range from information-based to storytelling to answering hotline questions, and many feature guests from the sex education industry! Past guests have included sex therapist Jayme Waxman, psychiatrist Dr. David Amen, and comedian Margaret Cho, along with many others.

Vaginismus, in its most simple term, is being unable to participate in penetration without experiencing pain. The DSM-5 classification stresses that vaginismus is a penetration disorder in that any form of vaginal penetration such as tampons, finger, vaginal dilators, gynecological examinations, and intercourse is often painful or impossible. The pain is due to the muscles of the vagina squeezing or having a spasm when something is attempting to penetrate it; this tightening of the vagina means any attempt of penetration is met with pain. Broken down further, there are two types of vaginismus, with treatment varying for each. Primary Vaginismus is where pain is experienced every time they try to insert something into their vagina, or they may have never been able to insert anything into the vagina without pain. Secondary Vaginismus is where penetration may have been previously possible, but is then difficult or impossible—this can be caused by sexual trauma, menopause, childbirth or yeast infections. With either primary or secondary vaginismus, it is important to know that this tightening is completely subconscious, it is an involuntary spasm of the pelvic muscles. This lack of control is what makes vaginismus a challenge to overcome, but as you will see throughout this article, there are multiple solutions to vaginismus. This article will be exploring multiple research papers looking at vaginismus, which we will see even these academic articles can be fooled by common misconceptions, as well as possible solutions and treatments of Vaginismus.

There is no ‘correct age’ to discuss masturbation with your child. As a parent, you know your child best, but these conversations are paramount to a child’s–and adult’s–healthy sex life. Dr. Rachel Wright, psychotherapist, states that you should “have the conversations when you feel it will be the most beneficial instead of paying attention to a specific age.” Some toddlers and preschoolers begin touching their genitals at a young age, others aren’t seen to do this until older. If you notice this, then this is the best time to discuss masturbation with your child. If you have not noticed your child doing this, then the best time to discuss this with them is as they are nearing puberty, family therapist Whitney states. When you feel the time has come to begin these discussions, the major points to hit are: Normalize masturbation, set boundaries around masturbating, and the safety and health benefits of masturbation.

The main point of having this conversation is to normalize the act and teach about safety, and consent. There is no need to go into detail about masturbation, the main purpose of this conversation is to normalize it, regardless of the child’s age. Make sure to reinforce that there is nothing wrong with it; that it is a healthy thing to do and a great way to learn about your body. It is likely that your child may respond in a negative way, telling you that it’s ‘embarrassing’ to discuss, but that is okay. The importance is making “the point that self-pleasuring is nothing to be ashamed of,” Whitney says. When having this conversation, make sure to keep it calm but casual, a safe and comfortable environment may make your child more receptive to the talk.

In 2022, now two years into the pandemic of COVID-19, we are still living in unprecedented times. As society slowly transitions back to “normal” with the development of vaccines and herd immunity, we are just now beginning to see changes emerging in the ways in which we live our lives. In comparing our lives in 2019 to now, we can identify shifts in what’s important to us and what we value, and these changes can impact our day-to-day lives and the expression of our identities.

One example of these changes that we are seeing nationwide is a slight shift in sexual orientation. This is not to say that the COVID-19 virus shifts who people are attracted to, but rather that the societal changes that we have experienced as a result of the pandemic affect the way in which we know ourselves. In one way, the stay-at-home order and reduced socialization allowed space for many people to reconnect with themselves outside of their busy lives. This connection allowed for exploration into past relationships, personal desires and behaviors, and previous experiences that shape who they are. For some people, this meant exploring the possibility of having more queer attraction than they had previously thought. In another way, these changes allowed more space from judgment for exploration, allowing people to explore their attraction through media, dating apps, and conversations with others that would not have been able to happen outside of this environment.

Researchers have long studied the effects of music, particularly how music can be used as a tool to regulate emotional and physical expression of self. For example, many people use slow, emotional music to experience their sadness, or upbeat music to enhance their happiness. One common use of music, one that has been far less researched, is music on a sex playlist. Music can be used during sex to increase emotional expression as well as “set the mood” for particular sexual experiences.

Sex playlists themselves can be comprised of many different genres and moods, depending on the desired effects. With the rise of streaming platforms like Spotify, previous methods of curating a playlist (like burning a CD or recording a mixtape) for a particular mood has been replaced with constantly updating, giant catalogs of sexy tunes, ready at your fingertips at all moments–be wary, however of not being a premium subscriber to these streaming platforms as you may be subjected to advertisements mid-coitus. These platforms will even curate their own sex playlists for you, such as “90s Baby Makers” and “Bedroom Jams” on Spotify. There are different genres that these playlists or artists can fall into, and typically people will have a preference for a particular genre if they enjoy listening to music during sex. Common preferences include hip hop, rap, and R&B, and then for those with less taste, Ed Sheeran. These genres are most popular for their intense energy and passionate lyricism, as well as references to sexuality. Typically during sex, sessions to rap music lean a little more into the BDSM/rough sex territory while R&B sex is slower and more passionate.

In a world saturated with sensual media and the popular notion that “sex sells,” it shouldn’t come as a surprise that creating profitable sex scenes has become an industry of its own. Now, with the required certification, people can make a career as an intimacy coordinator, wherein they supervise, direct, and choreograph romance and sex scenes in popular media including television, film, and music videos.

Amanda Blumenthal, owner of Intimacy Professionals Association and intimacy coordinator for shows like Euphoria, describes the process of entering this career. For her, becoming an intimacy coordinator was the perfect blend of sex-positive education and the film industry. She attributes the rise of this field to third-wave feminist movements such as the #MeToo movement, which drew attention to the need for regulated, consensual intimacy within the making of popular media. Especially with the history of sexual harassment in Hollywood, having an intimacy coordinator present as an advocate for safety and support is necessary for the well-being of the actors.

British TV is filled with iconic series, examples of these include: Come Dine With Me, Faulty Towers, and Only Fools and Horses. Whilst these series have been met with much appreciation, one such series that first aired in 2016 was not met with such a warm audience… On July 25th Naked Attraction came to our screens. Put simply, Naked Attraction is a dating show with multiple rounds in which one person is eliminated by the person looking for a partner. Each contestant starts off in a colored box, and during each round, the box is lifted higher until we see their face and can hear their voice. What makes this show stand out? The contestants are completely naked. Which begs the question: Is Naked Attraction a genuinely educational and representational tool for sexuality or is it harmful and should be removed from TV?

One thing to note is that Naked Attraction’s diversity changes throughout the series. In the first season, it would be hard to claim that there is representation, with the majority of vulvas being “‘neat and tucked’' as well as minimal body or pubic hair being displayed on the contestant. Furthermore, in the first few episodes host, Anna Richardson mistakenly refers to the vulva as a vagina, though this is not a huge issue, on a show about sex and sexual attraction you would have thought the correct anatomy would be discussed. Season 2 and beyond, however, do a far better job at providing actual representation. Not only is the existence of pubic and body hair normalized on the show, but so are representations of all sexualities and relationships.

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of being invited to see Moulin Rouge! in London. As someone who had never seen the film, I had no idea what awaited me behind the door. Inside the theatre room was tons and tons of red. Red curtains, red hearts, red fairy lights, red projector lights, and red seats. You name an object and it was most likely red. It was then I was informed that the general plot revolved around sex, secrets, and prostitution. It was this that made me wonder, why is red associated with sex? This article aims to uncover the reason why red is deemed to be a sexy colour.

One explanation is that human societies have paired red and feeling desire for such a long time, that it is almost conditioned to think of them together. Some scholars have claimed that red ochre (pigments used for paint) was used in fertility rituals by early humans, with the belief that it may have been painted onto women’s bodies and faces. Red and marriage can also be seen mentioned in Rigveda, an ancient Hindu text that is at least 3,500 years old. Modern media and books have also be seen to use red in the context of sex. Hawthorn’s The Scarlet Letter (in which I must admit I have only seen its film reboot, Easy A) is an example where red is used to convey sex and desire. For those unfamiliar, the protagonist is made to wear a scarlet A to signify adultery for giving birth out of wedlock. The red-light district is another obvious example.

Stealthing is when a partner secretly removes a condom during sex without the other person’s consent. Stealthing is a form of sexual assault or rape, and it’s not something to be taken lightly. It’s assumed that the practice has been around for as long as condoms have existed. A person may engage in stealthing because they desire to exert power and control over their partner; they may use the excuse that it makes them feel “closer” to you without the barrier of a condom. Men who stealth see their victims as possessions rather than people who have the right to make their own consensual decisions about sex. No matter how a person may try to explain themselves out of stealthing, the act is never okay. This is because stealthing is disrespecting someone’s trust for the other person’s sexual gain — and that is never ok. Sex can be a regular part of any relationship. Two (or more) people engage in something consensual and meaningful to them, regardless of whether they are in a long-term relationship. The keyword here is consent- every sex act should always be consensual. Removing a condom without your partner’s knowledge is not consensual and is always wrong. Sex should always be rooted in consent and should never include actions that one partner does not consent to. If you engage in a sex act that your partner does not consent to, this is considered rape. It’s reasonable to think that all scenarios involving rape are nonconsensual, but when it comes to stealthing, it’s only illegal in California! If you find yourself a victim of stealthing, though, don’t fret. We at SHA are here to guide you on what to do if it happens to you. First, we will begin with a review of why stealthing is only illegal in California.

Bisexuality has been used to describe a variety of different identities throughout its history, making it a widely used and, at times, controversial term. Bi101 works to define and exhibit bisexuality in order to reduce misconceptions and the stigma around the term. According to this site, bisexuality includes both heterosexual and homosexual attractions, but it can also be used to refer to a wider variety of attractions. Alternative definitions include “attraction to same and other genders” and “attraction to all sexes and genders.” You may also hear two separate terms, bisexual and biromantic, which differentiate between sexual and romantic attraction to these different genders. Bisexuality is fluid and can change and shift throughout a person’s life, so at different times they may experience attraction to different people.

On Transgender Awareness Day, March 31st, 2022, the White House gave a press release in support of this national outline and to outline the “support the mental health of transgender children, remove barriers that transgender people face accessing critical government services, and improve the visibility of transgender people in our nation’s data.” These three critical points work to move our country toward understanding and improving equality. Acknowledging the role of gender in the lives of children is a huge step in this direction, which has also been controversial throughout history. Even today, Republican legislators across the country are fighting against gender and sexuality education for children, arguing that teaching concepts like homosexuality and gender transitions have the power to influence children negatively. Others, myself included, argue that supporting children in their developing identities is critical to the growth of happy, loving individuals.

When entering a new relationship, being fully aware of what may be in store for you and your partner can ease the process, making each step feel less daunting and challenging for you to overcome together. Below is a list of the five stages in a relationship, and understanding them can benefit the relationship significantly. To prepare for the challenges to come, you can look inwards to understand how you yourself may act in each of these stages to better prepare yourself to face them. And through doing this, you and your partner can connect on a deeper level and work to enjoy the relationship at every stage, even the more difficult ones.

Sexuality is an essential topic of conversation when raising healthy, confident-minded children. Moreover, having open discussions about sexuality ensures that your child will have a sense of body positivity regarding their own body and the bodies of those around them. The “birds and the bees” talk shouldn't be an uncomfortable one-time occurrence; it should be an ongoing open conversation between you and your child that spans years. Sex education in our country is, unfortunately, not always adequate in the schooling system and often does not start until some children have already been exposed to or experienced aspects of sexuality. For this reason, it’s essential to start sex education with your children within your own home and at an early age. Sex and sexuality are a part of life—it’s crucial to provide your child with the tools they need to understand themselves and the world around them. It’s also worth acknowledging that many parents did not receive proper sex education and may not know where to start with sex ed for their children. For many adults, their sex education came from grade-school videos about puberty and is often solely heteronormative and uplifts biases. Don’t fret if your sex education is lacking because many tools can help you enhance both your and your child’s sex education.

To most, kink refers to any non-traditional sex. This can include anything from bondage to roleplay, to power exchange. Kink can also be participated in for numerous reasons, for some it may be solely for pleasure. But for others, kink has been a way to heal trauma. In no way it is a replacement for therapy or other mental healthcare but is something that can be participated in whilst undergoing therapy. This article will aim to understand how kink can be used to heal sexual trauma and allow those who have experienced sexual trauma to reclaim sexual confidence.

One piece explains that “often, the appeal of kink for sexual assault survivors is the opportunity to feel empowered, respected, and safe.” The ways in which kink can assist with healing vary from person to person as the healing process is highly personal and subjective. Another study further states that kink and BDSM practices may be appealing to those healing in the way kink has a straightforward negotiation, execution, and aftercare scene—with there being correlations between the stages of trauma healing therapies and the three phases of a kink scene.

First, the relationships between sexuality and gender identity are built on antiquated ideas of what each is. Only in recent decades have we created terminology to address the lived experiences of many individuals, and much of our lexicon is still behind. One issue with sexuality terms such as “lesbian” and “gay” is that they rely on gender identity to apply to relationships. For example, the term “lesbian” necessitates that the person is women-identifying and attracted to other women-identifying people. This definition does not take into account biology, but we do know that people may experience different attractions based on sex organs as well, regardless of the gender identity of that person.

To simplify this example, we have evolved a much too diverse network of gender identities and sexualities to any longer be encompassed in the term LGBTQ+, no matter how many more letters are added. As it stands, this term creates specific and exclusionary categories for identities and lumps all others into the Q+ section. Dr. Barker also notes that this term only encapsulates a white, Western idea of how gender and sexuality function, discounting the experiences of the many.