Researchers have long studied the effects of music, particularly how music can be used as a tool to regulate emotional and physical expression of self. For example, many people use slow, emotional music to experience their sadness, or upbeat music to enhance their happiness. One common use of music, one that has been far less researched, is music on a sex playlist. Music can be used during sex to increase emotional expression as well as “set the mood” for particular sexual experiences.
Sex playlists themselves can be comprised of many different genres and moods, depending on the desired effects. With the rise of streaming platforms like Spotify, previous methods of curating a playlist (like burning a CD or recording a mixtape) for a particular mood has been replaced with constantly updating, giant catalogs of sexy tunes, ready at your fingertips at all moments–be wary, however of not being a premium subscriber to these streaming platforms as you may be subjected to advertisements mid-coitus. These platforms will even curate their own sex playlists for you, such as “90s Baby Makers” and “Bedroom Jams” on Spotify. There’s different genres that these playlists or artists can fall into, and typically people will have a preference towards a particular genre if they enjoy listening to music during sex. Common preferences include hip hop, rap, and R&B, and then for those with less taste, Ed Sheeran. These genres are most popular for their intense energy and passionate lyricism, as well as references to sexuality. Typically during sex, sessions to rap music lean a little more into the BDSM/rough sex territory while R&B sex is slower and more passionate.
Researchers have noticed this trend too, and a fascinating study from Erasmus University explores the different between two categories of music: “sex” music, which is usually rap, hip hop, and R&B, and “love” music, which are ballads and pop hits. The former category consists primarily of POC artists, particularly from the Black community, while the latter tends to be white. This sparks a much larger conversation of the sexualization of Black bodies, which is a major point of intersectional feminist scholarship. Even if you compare the two Spotify playlists, “Sex” and “Love,” you can see a clear difference in the demographics of artists, with 90% POC artists on the former and 20% POC on the latter.
There is still a major gap in research as to the interaction between music and kink, although there most certainly is one. Sex is often portrayed in music though a patriarchal lens, and sometimes one that is violent and misogynistic. To counteract this, women have found power in expressing their sexuality to these kinds of songs, embracing the freedom of sex and leaving behind the oppressive messaging. In recent years, sex-positive women in music like Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B have paved the way for what some (myself included) would refer to as feminist rap, music that takes the energy and content of the industry and spins it in a way that frames female sexuality as powerful and natural.
Because many of these traditional sex playlists can be quite serious, people have taken to creating humorous interpretations of this concept. On Tik Tok, there’s a trend to post your best sex playlist, but the joke is that all of the songs are actually completely un-sexy. There are even playlists on Spotify made by users that comprise a “challenge” to have sex to these awful songs or weird theme music pieces without needing to stop from laughter or embarrassment. Here’s a link to a “worst songs to have sex to” playlist as evidence of this trend. As a big proponent for lighthearted humor in the bedroom, I see these playlists a creative outlet to add spice, joy, and laughter to your relationship and sex life. Just remember that music really can affect your mood, so be conscious of you and your partner’s arousal and be ready to slow down or stop if either of you lose “the mood” along the way. As always, check in with yourself and your partner and prioritize consent at every step of the sex process.
If you’re interested in spicing up your sex with music, remember that there’s no right way to do it! Whatever makes you feel sexy and confident is the right choice, even if that’s a cheesy pop ballad, your all-time favorite throwback song, or, in the case of another SHA blogger, classical music. Play around with different genres and moods and incorporate music into your roleplay and kink to figure out what turns you on the most. Personally, I recommend checking out popular streaming services and seeing what playlists other users create! They may inspire you to curate a mix of your own, and try it out by yourself or with others.
By Sydney Sullivan