Every s-xual encounter is different: the lead-up, the context, the people, your state of mind. A lot of the messages out there about faking 0rgasms can make us feel bad if we do it, leading to guilt and frustration. If you fake 0rgasms, I completely get it: I’ve faked more 0rgasms than I’ve had 0rgasms. I realized that I was doing it as a way to avoid the fact that I felt insecure about not being able to get off. And it was hurting me more than it was helping me.

Transphobia kills, and it does so in a cruel and targeted manner. Adding to the tragedy of each life lost is the general apathy of dominant culture toward the struggles of transgender persons. Indeed, this apathy is itself fertile soil for such transphobic violence. Insofar as silence and inaction constitute complicity, we all have a part to play in preserving the memories of those transgender persons who lose their lives to hateful violence and working toward a world where transphobic ideologies are collectively and emphatically rejected as the nonsense that they are.

It is in this spirit that Transgender Day of Remembrance is honored and observed, on November 20th of each year.

In America, we live in a culture where legislation ages backward—and those living their truth are being put at risk. In recent times, the landscape of LGBTQIA+ rights has been marked by an alarming surge in anti-transgender legislation. Though trans (and other gender non-conforming people) have always existed (being a part of recorded history as early as 5,000 BCE) and are held in exceptionally high esteem in some contexts, they continue to face violence, marginalization, and invisibility in the U.S.

With the week of November 13th being Trans Awareness Week, it’s essential to honor trans lives by educating ourselves on anti-trans legislation. This Trans Awareness Week occurs against a backdrop of escalating anti-trans legislation.

You might think the biggest barrier to s-x research is finding people who are willing to speak openly and honestly about their s-xuality. But while that is indeed an obstacle faced by sex researchers, they must first contend with several other issues before they can even focus on participants. Nevertheless, you can understand why so many barriers exist if you recognize how they stem from the same basis: the stigma surrounding s-xuality. 

It would be easy to say that people should ignore the stigma around s-x, whether personally or professionally. However, ignoring stigma is not easy—or practical—when it has real consequences, as it so often does. You may have heard of teachers who have lost their jobs for supplementing their meager incomes with OnlyFans accounts or know k-nksters who are extremely careful about disclosing their interests for fear of professional or legal consequences. Along these same lines, s-xuality research faces other barriers that you might never have considered.

The American Library Association’s Office for Intellectual Freedom reports that between January 1st and August 31st, 2023, there were  695 attempts to censor library materials. These attempts challenged 1,915 pieces of literature. Comparing the same reporting period from 2022 to 2023 shows that there has been a 20% increase in book censorship. In fact, the American Library Association noted the 2022 reporting period as having the highest number of book challenges – challenges that have led to numerous book bans. 

Censoring literature restricts the variety of stories available for everyone to read. Unfortunately, book challenges and bans target minority groups at a comparatively higher rate. Books hold power —a power that makes minority populations feel seen, accepted, and like they’re part of a community.  With book bans targeting LGBTQIA+ communities at a startling rate, it’s critical for our society to fight for marginalized voices to be heard.

Perhaps you may have stumbled across the all-too-familiar ads boasting about the unlimited hours s-x-enhancing pills like Viagra, the Pink Pussycat, and OLLY Lady Libido can do for s-x. Outside of these heavily marketed supplements, some people use psychedelics (such as LSD or ecstasy) and other drugs like methamphetamine to evoke the same feelings of better, longer lasting, and more fun s-x. The usage of drugs in the men-who-have-s-x-with-men (MSM) community is well documented, and the term chems-x has been used to name this practice.

Discourse has most often surrounded the negative implications of chems-x, such as the health consequences that can occur as a result of the combination of substances and s-x. Yet, almost every s-xual interaction has its share of pros and cons. Consisting of more than just substance use and health scares, chems-x is a multifaceted practice that, according to some practitioners, has the potential to emphasize pleasure, performance, and community. 

Wellness, pleasure, confidence, and excitement are a few of the many words we might use to describe our growing love affair with s-x toys—wouldn’t you say? 

With more and more people understanding and embracing the benefits of prioritizing s-xual health, the s-x toy market in the U.S. alone has reached a value of 80.7 billion dollars in 2023. Moreover, the growing inclusivity of queer s-x toys and of s-x toys for persons with disabilities has revolutionized how pleasure is understood and experienced. This decreasing stigma along with the increase in accessibility of s-x toys have all helped put to a pin in our calendars to celebrate National S-x Toy Day on November 4th each year. The very existence of such a day is a divine reminder of self-love, care, pleasure, and body autonomy. 

F!ngering. Dry-hump1ng. 0ral-s-x. Showering. N!pple play. All of these activities are usually considered f0replay in our society. How many times have we heard the argument that engaging in f0replay is essential to improving the experience of having s-x? F0replay usually has the reputation of being associated with patience, creativity, less pain, and a less penetrative or gen1tal-focused experience. But what is really behind the word “f0replay” and what do we associate with the act of f0replay?

Compulsory sexuality assumes that all adults are sexually active and stigmatizes those who are sexually inexperienced or do not experience sexual attraction. As you cannot tell if someone has had sex just by looking at them, those who are seen as “virgins” can feel alone in their experience and internalize the associated shame and stigma. 

Within the framework of compulsory sexuality, the social construct of virginity describes a virgin as someone who has not had penis-in-vagina (PIV) intercourse—a framework which is not inclusive of non-heterosexual sexual orientations and non-penetrative sex acts. The assumption that all adults are having sex can have harmful psychological effects, especially for asexual people who do not experience sexual attraction. However, compulsory sexuality can also be dangerous for young adults, specifically adult virgin men, who self-identify as involuntary celibates.