I can’t tell you how many times this happened to me during my undergraduate experience: I’d be at a party, hanging out with my friends, and a conversation would start between a fraternity member and me. I tend to be quite the open book, especially after a drink or two. So, eventually, it would “come out” that I’m bisexual. At this point, it was always one of two responses: “That’s hot. That means we can have a threesome, right?” or “Oh, so like you just make out with other girls at parties?” This is not only not what it means to be a bisexual woman, it promotes harmful stereotypes that have real-life negative effects on the community. Comments like these simultaneously serve to take away a person’s autonomy to express genuine interest in the people they are actually interested in, limit the ability to desire only one partner, and undermine bisexuality as a valid sexual orientation in general.
Now, me being me, I got into a habit of pushing back on these comments by teasing these alpha males a bit. I’d respond with something like, “well, actually, your friend’s pretty cute, would you wanna have a threesome with him and me?” A look of disgust would immediately spread across their faces. Of course, they would never hook up with another man! Isn’t the whole point of bisexual women so that a man can sleep with two or more women at once without it becoming like a whole thing?! No. In fact, nothing about being a bisexual woman is meant exclusively for the entertainment or pleasure of a heterosexual man. I know that may come as a shock to many men out there, so let’s dig a little deeper into the false assumptions about bisexual women, what this results in, and why these notions are harmful to society as a whole.



















