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5 Minutes of Fame with Dr. Melody Brown, PhD, LMFT

SHA Denver Director, Taylor Spaziani, interviews psychologist and licensed marriage and family therapist, Dr. Melody Brown, PhD, LMFT! Catch her teaching at SHA's day-long virtual workshop on Saturday, February 27th on African American couples, sexuality, and becoming a culturally competent practitioner while gaining 8 AASECT/state CEs. Workshops are open to all professions.

ABOUT THE WORKSHOP

The last year has highlighted how critical it is to create space for the realities of marginalized communities. This workshop will teach you how to connect with African American couples in therapy particularly with regards to their marginalized experiences and to work with them from a culturally respectful clinical lens. Our ability to connect with our clients is often more important than the theory through which we practice. Such is the case when working with marginalized clients. Too often our clinical training with regards to working with diverse communities is surface at best. Couple inadequate clinical training with a society where subjugated people are constantly being systemically erased, and you find African Americans less likely to attend therapy. Further, should they pursue treatment, they are less likely to remain in therapy. In this training, you will learn ways to set the tone for an inviting and accepting therapeutic environment. You will enhance your ability to explore the experiences and contexts of African American clients. Lastly, you will improve your skills by engaging with clients through a process designed to meet the therapeutic needs of marginalized clients.

Over this day you will dive into:

  • The phenomenon of shame from a privileged point of view | What are the lived experiences of African Americans?

  • The impacts of White privilege on African American couples

  • Discretion for preservation/Cultural Mistrust (Ex. COVID-19 Vaccinations)

  • Infractions in working with African American couples

  • In our own words: what clients say about working with White or other non-marginalized clinicians

  • Defining and working from a culturally responsive clinical practice

LEARNING OBJECTIVES

  1. Create a culturally respectful therapeutic environment

  2. Develop an understanding of the lived experiences of African Americans

  3. Identify missteps in practicing with African American clients

  4. Creating a path to difficult dialogues in therapy

  5. Assess for the impact of marginalization on the couple relationship

  6. Integrate self of the therapist privileged context into clinical practice with African American couples

  7. Apply cultural awareness to case conceptualization

  8. Identify and use the client’s cultural resilience to assist in resolving presenting problems in therapy

WORKSHOP AGENDA (ALL TIMES ARE CENTRAL STANDARD TIME):

SATURDAY, FEB 27TH, 2021, 10AM - 6PM CST

10:00AM - 10:55AM CST:

  • Welcome & Introductions

  • Setting the intention for the coming process,

  • Locating the presenter within the topic for the day (i.e., my identity as a person of color in relation to this work),

  • Review presenter style and participant needs given presentation content/set community norms (I present/practice/teach from a place of vulnerability and want to set the stage for a similar expectation of the audience). This same perspective needs to be incorporated into their work with clients.

10:55AM – 11:00AM CST

  • Break

11:00AM – 12:20PM CST

  • Experiences of the African American community (film, client perspectives, other media and breakout groups)

12:20PM – 12:30PM CST

  • Break

12:30PM – 1:00PM CST

  • Group Process

1:00PM – 2:00PM CST

  • Lunch on your own with an activity to complete

2:00 – 2:10PM CST

  • Temperature check/questions

2:10PM – 2:40PM CST

  • Infractions in therapy with African Americans (client perspective)

2:40PM – 4:00PM CST

  • The Path to a Culturally Responsive Practice-Defining cultural awareness, knowledge and skills

4:00PM – 4:05PM CST

  • Break

4:05PM – 5:30PM CST

  • Breakout groups for practice

5:30PM – 6:00PM CST

  • Group Process

  • Q & A

  • Closing


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Dr. Melody Brown is a licensed marriage and family therapist with both her M.A. and PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy. Her clinical training began nearly thirty years ago where her studies included a concentration on working with systems while addressing issues of power, privilege, and oppression. After completing her master’s degree, she began working in child welfare in long term foster care. While in this position, she witnessed the trauma children experienced both within their homes and at the point of being removed from their families. She collaborated to develop models for what is now called concurrent planning in foster care. She later became a foster care placement specialist. Prior to completing her doctorate, Dr. Brown held several positions at Denver Children’s Home, a treatment center for traumatized children and families. In her initial work as a residential therapist, she was trained by the Sex Offender Management Board (SOMB) to work with sex offending youth. She also participated in training and case consultation with the Child Trauma Center where she learned to work with families using trauma informed treatment. She transitioned to work in community organizing as the Site Coordinator for the East Denver Collaborative of Family to Family. Through these experiences, she maintained her focus on highlighting the importance of understanding cultural norms and differences in marginalized communities. 

She joined the counseling center at the University of Colorado Denver where she returned to clinical work, supervision and training in 2011. In 2019, she joined the Counseling Program at CU Denver specializing in couple and family therapy through a multicultural lens. She maintains a private practice offering consultation, clinical supervision, and individual, couple, and family therapy.

Dr. Brown is a clinical fellow of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. She presents and trains both locally and nationally on clinical supervision through a social justice lens and on the complexities of working with oppressed and marginalized communities. 


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5 Minutes of Fame with Nicoletta Heidegger, LMFT

SHA Team member, Tula Pitcher, interviews licensed marriage and family therapist and sex therapist, Nicoletta Heidegger, LMFT! Catch her teaching at SHA's virtual workshop on Friday, February 26th on couples and sexuality where you can gain 8 AASECT and state CEs. Workshops are open to all professions.

COUPLES THAT PLAY WITH THE EDGE OF SEXUALITY W/ NICOLETTA HEIDEGGER, LMFT

10AM - 2PM CST (GUIDED LUNCH ACTIVITY FROM 1PM - 2PM CST)

8am-12pm PST | 9am-1pm MT | 10am - 2pm CST | 11am-3pm EST

ABOUT THE WORKSHOP:

Sexuality encompasses many aspects of the self from experiences and feelings to attitudes and personal values. This workshop will cover how to assess couples and attain a comprehensive sexual and relational history using an expanded version of the Circles of Sexuality. It will also cover some case studies featuring the most common presenting issues Nicoletta sees in her practice including:

  • Sexual shame

  • Desire discrepancies

  • Spontaneous versus responsive desire

  • Keeping things curious and exciting

  • Painful sex (emotionally and physically)

  • “Forbidden” fantasies

We will also discuss how to support partners in opening up or maintaining different styles of non-monogamy as well as how to navigate Kink/BDSM for both beginners or seasoned lifestyle folx.   

AGENDA (ALL TIMES IN CENTRAL STANDARD TIME):

  • 10:00am - 11:00am CST Introductions and Circles of Sexuality

  • 11:00am-12:00pm CST Opening up and Kink/BDSM

  • 12:00pm-12:05pm CST Break

  • 12:10pm- 1:00pm CST Common presenting issues / creative case conceptualizations

  • 1:00pm-2:00pm CST Lunch Break & Activity: Do your own circles of sexuality

OBJECTIVES: 

At the end of this talk, participants will be able to:

  • Challenge and confront some of their own sexual and relational biases

  • Identify and utilize the Circles of Sexuality as an assessment instrument

  • Cite specific treatment tools in working with non-monogamous and Kinky couples

  • Become more familiar with creative approaches to sex therapy 


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Nicoletta von Heidegger is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (#110256) practicing in Los Angeles. Nicoletta received her BA in Psychology from Stanford University, her MA in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University, and her MEd in Human Sexuality from Widener University. Nicoletta is currently pursuing her PhD in Human Sexuality from Widener. In addition to seeing clients in private practice, Nicoletta also works as an EAGALA certified equine assisted therapist at Stand in Balance. Nicoletta believes in embodied practice and is also certified in levels I and II of The Trauma Resiliency Model. When not working with clients, Nicoletta creates and hosts the growing hit podcast Sluts & Scholars and teaches educational seminars and classes to help others learn about sexual and mental health.


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5 Minutes of Fame with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, PhD

SHA Senior Director of Operations, Alex Whitman, interviews sexuality researcher and consultant, Dr. Zhana Vrangalova! Catch her teaching at SHA's virtual workshop on Friday, February 26th on couples and healthy casual sex where you can gain 8 AASECT and state CEs. Workshops are open to all professions.

HEALTHY CASUAL SEX FOR INDIVIDUALS AND COUPLES W/ DR. ZHANA VRANGALOVA, PHD

2PM - 6PM CST

12pm-4pm PST | 1pm-5pm MT | 2pm - 6pm CST | 3pm-7pm EST

ABOUT THE WORKSHOP:

World-renowned sexuality educator and researcher, Dr. Zhana, joins SHA for a specialized workshop on healthy casual sex that is not to be missed! Whether you’re a mental health and/or sexuality professional looking to assist clients with their attitudes towards casual sex or are looking to broaden your sex-positivity spectrum, this workshop will delve into it all. Get ready for engaging content, the latest research, and the most up-to-date information on casual sex for singles and couples. Leave with all the right tools for your clients and yourself!

WORKSHOP AGENDA

FRIDAY, FEB 26TH, 2021, 2PM - 6PM CST

THE BASICS

  • The sociosexual orientation spectrum

  • Types of casual sex

  • Attitudes toward casual sex: Slut-shaming vs sex positivity

  • Casual sex in cross-cultural perspective

  • Gender differences in casual sex: Are men more into casual sex than women?

HEALTHY CASUAL SEX FOR SINGLE PEOPLE

  • Autonomous motivation

  • Pleasure

  • Consent

  • Sexual health

CASUAL SEX FOR COUPLES

  • Swinging

  • Open relationships

  • DADT (Don't Ask Don't Tell)

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Getting to Know...Dr. Zhana!

BY ALEX WHITMAN AND TULA PITCHER

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Getting to Know Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, PhD

“I broke ALL the rules.”

The Sexual Health Alliance (SHA) is centered around providing Provocative Dialogue and Radical Collaboration. What does radical collaboration mean to you?

To me, radical collaboration is about trying to find ways to work with people and organizations on joint projects you both believe in, even when you don't agree on everything. It's about putting differences aside to create something good, rather than shunning and "canceling" people for everything we don't like about them.


What’s it like being based in New York? What’s most interesting or special about being a sexuality professional in such a progressive city?

I love NYC. It's been my home for 10 years and I can't imagine living anywhere else in the US but NYC. There is SO much going on in this city, and for an extrovert high on novelty seeking, it's the definition of heaven on earth. I love having a huge sex-positive community, both personally and professionally, something that's non-negotiable for folks like myself living on the margins of social acceptability.


What are the top three items on your bucket list?

Write a few books.

Collect some nationally representative data on nonmonogamy and consent.

Explore more countries.


What is the most important piece about sex advice that you want all health care providers to know? What would you want them to incorporate into their practice?

There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to sex. Please take into consideration the huge variety in human psychology when doling out advice for how people should go about their sex and relationship lives.


You have some amazing tattoos, can you tell us about the inspiration behind your two favorites?

I love my tattoos, they are all so special to me. Asking me to pick two is like asking me to pick my two favorite children haha. Ok, ok, fine.

Left arm: "I create therefore I am" in Latin - my take on what it means to exist. Descartes thought it was about thinking, I think it's about creating, whatever that may be - for me, it's creating knowledge, self-acceptance, and healthier lives for the people I work with

Back: It's a large piece that symbolically tells my story of fighting against conformity. My place on the high ends of many sexuality spectra has made this fight a defining feature of my life


What was the most impactful lesson you’ve learned through your journey as a sexpert?

I don't know everything. Ask people about their experience, as much as you tell them what you think they should know.


As a prominent sexuality professional, you have made a wonderful career as a sex educator. What kinds of classes do you teach and what’s one piece of knowledge you think everyone should know?

I mostly teach classes on Human Sexuality, Casual sex, Sexual Orientation, and Open relationships


Who is your sexual role model?

Anyone who lives an authentic sexual life despite societal disapproval.


Tell us about your childhood and how you became interested in sexuality studies.

I was always a super sexual child, for as long as I can remember, which led to a sexually precocious teenager who had a very early start. Sex was such a big part of my life, it made sense that I'd be interested in studying that...


What is the most prominent trend you observe among your clients? What is the most important thing you talk about with them?

Among my audience and clientele, I see a lot of interest in exploring nontraditional forms of sex and relationships, like nonmonogamy, casual sex, kink, sex work, porn, etc. My work with them centers around removing the shame often associated with those desires and equipping them with the tools they need to live out their desires in ways that are pleasurable, safe, and ethical for themselves and their partners.


What was it like to grow up in Macedonia, and what is the culture around sexuality there?

Pretty conservative (only heterosexual vanilla monogamous long-term relationship sex was allowed) with heavy double sexual standards of what was allowed for men vs women. I broke ALL the rules.


What’s your favorite way to release steam?

I don't understand the question, lol. Sorry, been working way too much. In normal times, it'd be dance parties and festivals, and lots of fun casual and group sex. These days, it's yoga, meditation, and high-quality sex.


You started your own online relationship course this year. What’s your best piece of relationship advice?

Don't try to make it perfect from the get-go. Teach it live first, then package it as an evergreen standalone course.


What are you reading (or watching) right now?

The Jutterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins


Red Carpet Question: Tell the world what you’re working on! What would you like everyone to know or check out?

I have an online course on (non)monogamy and relationship psychology that just launched, which can be taken self-paced but I'm also teaching live for 12 weeks (until May 2021) and it's not too late to join. drzhana.com/open-smarter

And every 10 days, I host a unique format of group conversations about sex and relationship topics with people from all over the world called Uncensored with Dr. Zhana. drzhana.com/uncensored


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Zhana Vrangalova, PhD, is a NYC-based sex and relationships consultant, speaker, and writer focusing on sexually adventurous lifestyles. She holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Cornell University, teaches Human Sexuality courses at New York University, and has published academic research on casual sex, sexual orientation. Dr. Zhana is the creator of Uncensored with Dr. Zhana, a unique format for open, honest conversations about sexuality and relationships in a globalized world. She recently launched Open Smarter, an online course helping people make smarter decisions about their relationship choices using their unique personality. Follow her on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook as @DrZhana


Want more Dr. Zhana? Catch her teaching virtually with SHA Friday, February 26th on healthy casual sex and relationships!

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Living in the Unconventional: Poly, community care, and disrupting social narratives

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I find as I get older, I come to realize that I’ve never really wanted a conventional life, I was just conditioned to think that I did.  It wasn't until a breakdown leading to some serious analysis of my life that I started to ask myself some real questions about the disconnect between how I wanted to be in the world and how others thought I should be. 

Do I really want kids? 

Is marriage for me? 

I’ve only ever been monogamous, do I choose that? 

I found the messaging easier to ignore in my 20s but as I moved through my 30s, primarily single and in the stage in life where many people around me were getting married and having babies, I started to judge myself for not doing these things.  Once, I even ran into an old high school teacher who, when realizing I had no children, was shocked and told me she always thought I’d have many kids by now.  I’m sorry, but what? What kind of vibes was I giving off in high school? Is the assumption that because I’m good with kids I should automatically be a parent? Or that time is running out and it was a pity I was hearing from her? It was even more surprising coming from a strong, independent, single woman, who I had admired for years as seemingly doing things against the grain.  

But, the messaging is strong and it takes a ton of work to unpack it. 

Social media gives us the opportunity to find our own communities and recently I’ve been drawn to the plethora of people who defy the conventional – queer spaces, poly communities, conversations being had about supporting and protecting sex workers, women choosing to be childless … – and there’s comfort and excitement in it. 

I put sexual politics as a tag in my dating profiles and it often gets attention from (primarily men) asking what that means. From my own words in a previous post, because I can’t stress it enough in this wild world of dating and sexual exploration –  

Someone who can engage with me about sexual politics/justice or, 

at the very least, be curious to hear more, is someone I could see 

contributing to the world and to the collective and on some level, 

working to break down the impacts of capitalism and patriarchy 

on sexuality and romantic connections.  

Looking outward, participating in sexual political discussions and practices means challenging conventional ways of being and disrupting the toxic narratives that many people have to work through and unpack in order to break free from its confines. Recently, @chillpolyamory posted on the intersection of politics and sexuality in relation to being poly – “...practicing polyamory is an inherently political choice. It is a lifestyle that rejects the socially prescribed ways of relating, and moves toward community care over the competition.” (@chillpolyamory, 2021.) 

Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy (ENM)  are on an upward trend as of late (which is good for the illumination of a topic but also proves to be detrimental, depending on people’s intentions around hopping on a trend) and this is promising for those of us that are walking a path that doesn’t often look like how others around us are doing things.  I find the connections between poly, community care, and the politics and justice work surrounding sexuality and sexual expression exciting and breaking apart the confines of monogamous, het-normative relationship models, not to mention acts of activism within sexuality. 

“Non-monogamy is a big umbrella which means the politics vary wildly …  anyone who complains about political hot takes, saying they're here ‘just for the polyamory discussion’ … polyamory is political. Ethical polyamory is anti-racist, anti-misogynistic, and anti-fascist. This IS the polyamory discussion.” (@chillpolyamory, 2021.) 

“My body has the capacity to sense immense pleasure, 

and as I get older I keep intentionally expanding my sensual 

awareness and decolonizing it so that I can sense more 

pleasure than capitalism believes in.” 

(adrienne marie brown, 2019.) 

So, when the conversation about sexuality is inherently justice minded and actively engages people in conversations, practices, and accountability, I am all for it. And to be clear, everyone enters the conversation where they are at and able – we cannot expect people, including ourselves, to be the best version of our sexual selves. But, what we can do is to work toward deconstructing toxic programming and unpacking it with a critical eye, addressing toxic behaviour in ourselves and others, learning more, having clear boundaries and a strong voice, and always moving toward doing better through unlearning.


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Spice Up Your Relationships with SHA's Valentine’s SAR!

BY TULA PITCHER

This Valentine’s weekend (Feb 12-13), SHA is providing a never-before-offered opportunity to evaluate your sexual attitudes alongside your significant other(s)! But before delving into why you should bring your partner(s) along for the fun, let’s go over what exactly a Sexuality Attitude Reassessment is.

What is a Sexuality Attitude Reassessment (SAR)?

A Sexual Attitude Reassessment, or SAR, is a progressive training program designed to challenge and introduce students to the expansive range of sexual desires, kinks, and behaviors that exist throughout the diverse, human population. The goal of each SAR is to increase comfortability, ease shock, and minimize judgment when discussing sexual topics. These programs are especially beneficial for psychologists, researchers, therapists, educators, and counselors in order to create a more neutral and understanding environment between themselves and their clients. While these events are typically attended by sexuality professionals, attending a SAR is just as beneficial for individuals and their partners. Our Valentine’s program is an excellent for opportunity professionals, sex nerds, or anyone wishing to broaden their perspectives.

Your Partner(s) are included in the price of your registration!

This is the first time the partners of sexuality professionals have been strongly encouraged and invited to join their significant others in the erotic and provocative world of sex. There is equal opportunity for the partners of sexuality professionals and the professionals themselves to learn more about their relationships As partners attending the SAR together, partners will be able to foster a deeper understanding of each other by exploring their underlying beliefs and philosophies about sex.

Flying single or solo? We welcome anyone under the sun, including singles, folks that are partnered but unaccompanied, and polyamorous learners. 

We believe it is imperative to attend this specialized SAR because relationships are often overlooked during training, despite the considerable role they play in determining one’s sexual attractions and desires. Not only will this SAR be a crucial experience for sexuality professionals, but it may also encourage pivotal growth between you and your partner(s). Whether you’ve been in a steady relationship, no relationship, or dating casually, this SAR will surely alter your perspective, sex life, and the way you interact with potential or current partners. 

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Facilitating at the Valentine’s SAR will be SHA board member, Dr. David Ley, PhD, CST-S and the founder of the Sexual Health Alliance, Heather McPherson, LPC-S, LMFT-S, CST. David Ley is a clinical psychologist and expert on sexuality, pornography, and mental health. He’s been featured in several media outlets such as The Daily Show, Cooper Anderson, Katie Couric, Playboy, and the New York Times. Dr. Ley is best known for his infamous book The Myth of Sex Addiction, and has also written books on ethical porn for men, hotwifing, and cuckolding. David Ley’s provocative outlook on sex, especially in the world of media, will provide a refreshing and new perspective on the reality of sexual attitudes. 

Heather McPherson, our trusted sexuality veteran, knows all things sex. Not only does she have ample experience as a counselor, sex therapist, and marriage and family therapist, but she’s also a seasoned entrepreneur. After founding the Sexual Health Alliance in 2015, Heather started her own private therapy practice called Respark and has now created a customizable program to help others grow their own sexual health businesses. Heather continues to improve the lives of her clients and hopes to encourage others to expand the business of sexual health by practicing outside the lines.


Make sure you register for this debut edition of the Sexual Health Alliance’s couples SAR, just in time to spice things up for Valentine’s Day! We’ll be exploring different kinds of porn, participating in role-playing demonstrations and group discussions. Not only will this program be beneficial for your sexual relationships, but it will also bolster your network of sex-positive friends and colleagues. Sign up to change your life today, there are limited spaces offered!

Edited by Alex Whitman

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WAP Politics & Broad City

By: Eliza Sea

Screenshot via Comedy Central

Screenshot via Comedy Central

First off, thanks @iamcardib and @megantheestalion for iconizing the best depiction vulva owners can use to embody the power that comes from knowing your body and leaning into its ability to be sexually charged and soaking wet with pleasure.  

Remember that episode of Broad City where Ilana couldn’t have an orgasm, seeks out a sex therapist, and realized her pussy had gone on strike after the shocking 2016 election? 

My pussy recoils just thinking about it.

This episode feels like a lifetime ago and yet the content and message of it permeates into everyday life back then, and now. Back then we were collectively traumatized that a brazen sexual predator was in the white house. Fast forward to now – after the countless women coming forward, #metoo, BLM, LGBTQIA+ movements, another election – are we ready to put in the lifelong work to break down the devastating impacts of capitalistic and patriarchal systems on our bodies and our pussies? Obviously many (deep acknowledgement to trans women, BIPOC, and intersectional feminists) have been doing this decolonizing work their entire lives, and it is always necessary that this is acknowledged.

In my dating life I make sure to be clear of my own sexual politics, right up front, so as to weed out as many unaware people as possible. I can’t speak to the missed connections but often after matching with someone, I’ll receive messages asking what sexual politics means or someone will share that they swiped right because of sexual politics being a part of my bio. Not only does it confirm my decision to be wholeheartedly honest about who I am and what I’m looking for as well as not playing games right out of the gate, it attracts people toward me who are willing and able to have conversations that often immediately reassure my nervous system that I am just a little bit safer in this wild world of dating. Someone who can engage with me about sexual politics/justice or, at the very least, be curious to hear more, is someone I could see contributing to the world and to the collective and on some level, working to break down the impacts of capitalism and patriarchy on sexuality and romantic connections.

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Pleasure Activism 

The politics of healing and happiness that explodes the dour myth 

that changing the world is just another form of work. (adrienne marie brown, 2019)

adrienne marie brown (amb), author of Pleasure Activism; The Politics of Feeling Good, asks the questions – 

How do we make social justice the most pleasurable human experience? 

How can we awaken within ourselves desires that make it impossible to settle for anything less than a fulfilling life?

The ruthless scorpio in me is furious that we even have to ask these questions, the intellect is engaged and ready to filter people through these questions to find connection with others, and the educator in me realizes how important weaving justice and conscious pleasure into everyday pedagogy is for young people and our collective future. Pleasure is not just something to associate with sexual experience or food or dating but rather an element of life that when tapped into can transform experience. What if young people were nurtured to uncover their authentic selves, to discover what parts of the world they are drawn toward and how they can contribute to the collective and in a way that allows their own sense of self to shine through? What if pleasure always intersected with consent and a generation of people moved into the world always understanding the deep importance and interconnectedness of these two things? 

“Audre Lorde taught us that caring for ourselves is ‘not self indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.’”(amb, 2017.) Pleasure activism, like anything, begins with ourselves and our ability to connect to our own being. amb shares that her motivations for writing the book are centered around recognizing pleasure as a measure of freedom and liberation, leaning into curiosity around it, and acknowledging and addressing shame and its manifestations. (amb, 2019.) A footnote on page one urges readers to cultivate a practice of self love – 

“If you can, I suggest that you have an orgasm 

before diving into this book and at the beginning of 

each new section. I am not joking – an orgasm a day 

keeps the doctor away and the worries at bay.” 

(amb, 2019.)

I am always a bit taken aback when speaking to friends how few of them self pleasure, let alone enjoy it, cultivate it, prioritize it, and use the energy to move through life in more conscious ways. While I can only speak for myself, going deep within is no simple task, despite our best efforts because unfortunately, the systems in place do not see the long term value in our own pleasure. “What we need right now is a radical, global love that grows from deep within us to encompass all life.” (amb, 2017.) So, mastrubate more and contribute to a better world? Sounds like a good place to start.

Resources

brown, a. m. (2019). Pleasure Activism. AK Press.

brown, a.m. (2017). Love As Political Resistance. Lessons from Audre Lorde & Octavia

     Butler. 

Edited by Alex Whitman


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COVID & Consent: Touching Others, Sex Education, & Intersectionality

By Eliza Sea

COURTESY OFFICE OF GOV. JAY INSLEE

COURTESY OFFICE OF GOV. JAY INSLEE

I work in the world of education and consent is a practice that has somewhat recently become a living part of an everyday school environment. Learning to fluidly weave consent language throughout our days as educators to help inform and support body autonomy, personal space, respect for the environment, boundaries, and emotional expression has been a game changer in what the future looks like for young people.  Gone are the days where it is acceptable for a child to be told to hug a stranger or apologize for a wrongdoing with physical contact - we have been teaching young people for too long that their bodies can be used and directed by others without the power of their own voices and choices. 

I am continuously reminded that working with children and youth is a much easier task than grappling with big or controversial ideas with adults; speaking in the language of consent is rarely met with argument from youth.

Enter COVID.  

From a new and refined practice of washing our hands to engaging in physical contact, COVID is teaching us how necessary it is to consider others’ personal space and bodies in a manner that is unapologetic and mandatory. 

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Consent language has always been a part of my practice as an educator and an aspect of education that is continuously needing to be addressed.  Keeping our hands to ourselves can be challenging even as adults and children move through the world in tactile and experiential ways so it makes it even more vital that the adults are modeling and engaging in consent practices in all parts of life - school, home, public, private. For children to understand what consent looks like in real life, the adults must uphold the rules of engagement and actively participate in making consent a part of everyday processes in every environment   – asking for physical contact, not taking up space that others are in, close proximity, addressing language that isn’t inclusive or appropriate, for example. 

What has been most challenging is the entitlement that many individuals feel and how parallel teachings of shame need to accompany learning about consent.  Decolonizing practices (continuous, necessary, lifelong) live in the dialogue about consent as the unpacking of ownership over one's body does not look the same for all individuals. In the colonial education system that I work within, the intersections of race, culture, histories, and geography all need to be addressed when educating about consent – intersectionality meaning in a manner that addresses the complex, cumulative ways that different identities and forms of discrimination combine, overlap, or intersect. (Adolescent Sexual Health Working Group, 2020.) Simply, intersectionality, on a basic level in the sexual education context, looks like using diverse resources where all kids can see a representation of themselves and/or their family, LGBTQIA+ / BIPOC representation, it means the adults need to be current with language and terms, porn literacy needs to be part of the conversation, consent always,  and pleasure for all participants should be prioritized.  Long gone are the days where youth should only be presented with the fear of reproduction – sex is so much more fun than that!   Kids needs to have comprehensive education that continuously unpacks the interconnectedness of our world and that sex, while often turned into a taboo subject (typically made taboo by the awkward adults and in some contexts, socio- cultural conditioning), requires a multifaceted learning approach and is a necessary aspect understanding of self and moving through the world as a sexual being.  Sex education has historically been about anatomical correctness, preventing pregnancy, fear mongering STI transmission, and in many places, abstinence; it has not discussed the complexities that intersectionality has on sexuality let alone the impact these have on individuals in their own sexual development. 

Teaching sex ed is uncomfortable for many educators – a problem that deserves it’s own lengthy blog post – but COVID is helping to create an adjacent context of simply understanding the important practice of consent.     

Resources for Parents

SOGI (Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity) / a progressive BC public education resource

https://www.sogieducation.org/parents

https://eca.state.gov/files/bureau/sogi_terminology.pdf

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5a56d971d74cff2582e16846/t/5a96ff2471c10b2a2984ca8a/1519845157019/SOGI+123_Parent+Brochure.pdf

Planned Parenthood - a plethora of resources https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/parents/resources-parents

UK RSE (Relationships and Sex Education) Curriculum

https://www.bbc.co.uk/teach/relationships-and-sex-education-%28RSE%29-teaching-resources/z4pp7nb

Books / Websites / Videos

https://www.parents.com/kids/health/best-sex-education-books-for-kids-by-age/

Books Specifically About Consent

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/128565.Children_s_Books_About_Consent


Resources Cited in This Post – 
ASHWG. 2020. On The Importance Of Intersectionality In Sex Education | ASHWG. [online] Available at: <http://ashwg.org/2017/12/12/on-the-importance-of-intersectionality-in-sex-education/> [Accessed 20 November 2020].

Edited by Alex Whitman


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Choosing SHA for Your Certification and Continuing Education Experience

Choosing SHA for your Certification and Continuing Education Experience

By Taylor Spaziani 


Become a Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Educator, Counselor or Coach with SHA

There are an unfathomable amount of reasons why the Sexual Health Alliance is an amazing and worthy organization to choose for your continuing education experience and certification progress. Whether you want to become a sex therapist, sex educator, sex counselor, sex consultant, or even just certified in certain topics like kink/BDSM or consensual non-monogamy, SHA has all of these things all in one place! SHA provides each track with an organized and detailed plan to keep you on track for certification. Gathering continuing education credits, supervision hours, and anything else you might need for certification can be extremely hard to find or gather all in one area of the country.

Simplicity

What’s unique about SHA, is that they make it SIMPLE for you to complete these requirements and not have to worry about organizing them or figuring it out all on your own. When conferences are in person, SHA provides three conferences in your city so you have the chance to never have to leave your state!

100% Online Learning

Through times of online learning due to the global pandemic, people from all over the world can attend our training conferences! Being able to learn from radical and progressive professionals streamlines our careers to a level of thinking that our undergraduate or graduate level programs typically do not provide us with. Attending SHA training and certification programs allows you to get your foot in the door to the field of human sexuality and also keeps you up to date with current data, training models, and social justice issues. 

Top Experts in the World

SHA brings on the top of the line professionals in the field of human sexuality to teach their webinars and their training conferences which allows you to network with tons of the top professionals in our field! Forward thinking and radical lecturers is what SHA strives for in every event they create. They are simply the best.

This Community is Like No Other

Not only does SHA provide you everything you might need for certification, but SHA also provides you with a community. Having the programs be all self paced and online based, SHA is able to connect students from around the country and around the world. Building both personal and professional connections through SHA provides you with more than just certification, but a future to radical collaboration with many like minded peers. With the social aspect that SHA brings, our students remember that our careers can also be so much fun. SHA provides students with private groups on social media, virtual happy hour meetings, and so many additional chances for live Q&A sessions with the SHA directors.

Lifelong Friends and Chosen Family

The SHA team is small but incredibly caring and dedicated to your journey as a student and aims to provide our community with progressive dialogue and radical collaboration. SHA understands and respects that we all come from different walks of life and we are dedicated to embracing and acknowledging all of your authentic journeys. SHA is not only an educational step in the right direction, but SHA is also a family.

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SHA Spotlight: afterglow

BY ALEX WHITMAN

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SHA was lucky enough to have the creators of afterglow - Lilly Sparks & Allie Oops - screen their first film, “Lip Service” at this past weekend’s SAR (Sexuality Attitude Reassessment) and do an exclusive Q+A with our attendees . What is afterglow you may ask?

“a porn site cultivating unabashed enjoyment of sex through mouthwatering videos, articles + audio.”

They are an inclusive new porn site where “women’s pleasure comes first”. If you’re looking for ethical and radical porn consumption, this is the place to go! Their first film, “Lip Service” paves the way for their promise to feature POC actors and work with diverse creators.

“made for women’s fantasies

high production value

true intimacy & connection

pleasure at every level”

SHA loves to see the creation of new and innovative porn sites! We are here for it and can’t wait to continue supporting afterglow’s future erotic endeavors.

Interested in learning more about afterglow? Help fund their indiegogo campaign and get exclusive membership perks for LIFE!

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Conscious Hedonism

By Eliza Sea

Image Credit: E. J. Sullivan drawings, The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

Image Credit: E. J. Sullivan drawings, The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

This October SHA hosted the conference, Confronting the Unconventional: Sex Work, Trauma, Kink, and More! led by the incredible N. Jasmine Johnson and with a full two days of workshops by lifestyle and industry professionals. One of the workshops, Trauma Informed Consent, led by @glittersaurus.rex, spoke on creating inclusive spaces, unapologetically asking for what you want, the importance of transparency, the process of unlearning, and the term conscious hedonism. 

“Dan Savage would remind us all about being GGG – good, giving, and game. So, can we have our cake and eat it too?”

Traditionally, hedonism referred to the pursuit of pleasure in one’s life, however, it has taken on a more judgmental tone in today’s times having connotations of indulgence and happiness derived from debauchery (Merriam-Webster.) By definition, consciousness refers to a quality or state of being aware, particularly within one’s self; Conscious hedonism then, can be defined as the pursuit of pleasure contained and held within the ability, desire, and practice of self awareness. Pleasure should not be seen as indulgent, selfish, or an aspect of self to be shamed but rather something to be nurtured in the boundaries of consent and a practice of continued self reflection; Dan Savage would remind us all about being GGG – good, giving, and game. So, can we have our cake and eat it too? Conscious hedonism would suggest yes, just as long as the ongoing practice of consent is happening.

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Hedonism is famously (and historically) portrayed through the writings of the 12th century Persian poet and astronomer, Omar Khayyam. In the translation of his poetry in 1859 The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám, hedonism is spoken about through an unapologetic tone and is “a passionate outcry against the unofficial Victorian ideologies of moderation, primness and self-control.” (Krznaric, 2017.) Khayyam, in the original poem, implies the absence of an afterlife, rejecting Christian beliefs (abhorrent at that time) stating that we must live in the moment and enjoy life’s pleasures not through excess but “rather cultivating a sense of presence, and appreciating and enjoying the here and now in the limited time we have on Earth.” (Krznaric, 2017.)

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References:

Hedonism. (n.d.). Retrieved October 7, 2020, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hedonism

Krznaric, R. (2017, May 23). How 12th century Persian poet Omar Khayyám inspired a hedonistic counterculture in Victorian England. Retrieved October 7, 2020, from https://scroll.in/article/837453/how-12th-century-persian-poet-omar-khayyam-inspired-a-hedonistic-counterculture-in-victorian-england. (First image)

Krznaric, R. (2020, October 15). How 'The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám' inspired Victorian hedonists – Roman Krznaric: Aeon Ideas. Retrieved October 11, 2020, from https://aeon.co/ideas/how-the-rubaiyat-of-omar-khayyam-inspired-victorian-hedonists

Moore, A. (2013, October 17). Hedonism. Retrieved October 2, 2020, from https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/hedonism/

Parenthood, P. (n.d.). What Is Sexual Consent?: Facts About Rape & Sexual Assault. Retrieved October 9, 2020, from https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/relationships/sexual-consent. (Consent image.)

Edited by Alex Whitman


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5 Minutes of Fame Interview with Jet Setting Jasmine!

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We are thrilled to be able to present this “5 minutes of Fame” interview with Jet Setting Jasmine from our Senior Director of Operations, Alex Whitman!

Jet Setting Jasmine will be presenting with Sexual Health Alliance alongside several other talented presenters this coming weekend!

Click this link for tickets!


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SHA Collab with the Famous Jet Setting Jasmine & King Noire!

A few tickets still available for this weekend’s conference, starting tomorrow! Register HERE

SHA is ecstatic for the upcoming virtual conference on kink, sex work, and decolonizing sexuality starting TOMORROW!

“Attendees will learn directly from sex-positive professionals — including sex workers, medical providers and attorneys — to be best positioned at supporting their clients."

We are so thrilled to see such positive reaction in press in outlets like XBIZ, Porn Valley Media and AVN.

Tomorrow and Saturday from 9am - 5pm CST, three-time award winning adult performer and licensed clinical therapist, N. Jasmine Johnson aka Jet Setting Jasmine + 8 Special Guests, will bring you TWO DAYS full of unbeatable interactive content including topics like:

+ Black and Kinky: The Decolonization of Sex

+ Poly In Practice

+ Narrative Therapy: Kink in Hip Hop Music

+ Dating HIV+

+ The Business Behind Sex Work

+ Trauma Informed Consent

+ Kink and Law: How to Negotiate Kinky Sex


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Decolonize Your Sex

By Eliza Sea

Conference Registration HERE for October 9th & Oct 10th

Image credit: Decolonize Pussy Power, Faviana Rodriguez, 2014

Image credit: Decolonize Pussy Power, Faviana Rodriguez, 2014

Decolonize Your Sex

“Systems of oppression directly impact our pleasure and our sexual life. I think if people actually understood that racism, classism, ableism, transphobia and femmephobia, directly impact our sexual expression – then they would actually understand sex. I think people try to put the cart before the horse. You have to talk about how your body has been regarded as a black person, before you fuck, before you start talking about who you’re attracted to.” - Erika Hart, 2020.

In reclaiming our sexualities it needs to be discussed how racism, ableism, transphobia, colourism, just to name a few, have perpetuated an othering when it comes to individuals who have faced the constant oppression of colonized systems. Being able to see perspectives that include intergenerational trauma and institutionalized racism are essential to sexual activism and practices of decolonizing and inclusion. (Hart, 2020.) Changing the narratives around sex and pleasure require a reclaiming of the power in sexual experience while actively pushing against institutional norms that center white heteronormativity. 

Image credit: @feministsexed

Image credit: @feministsexed

Lorde [Audre] asks us to do the more difficult and radical work of imagining what our realities might look like if masculinity were not the ideal to which we aspire, if heterosexuality were not the ideal to which we aspire, if whiteness were not the ideal to which we aspire. (Gay, 2020.) 

Decolonizing your sex means decentering whiteness and when it comes to sexuality, decentering the white gaze. Conventional beauty ideals and its relationship to sexual expression require continuous unpacking and addressing with cultural competency at the forefront of decolonizing our sex. In her book Pleasure Activism, adrienne maree brown discusses many aspects of sexual activism and weaves social justice practices with the human experience of pleasure. (brown, 2020.) To begin a practice in decolonizing sex, starting with self is critical – in the words of RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else!” 

We have a deeper socialization to overcome, one that tells us that most of us don’t matter – our lives don’t matter – not as much as those of white men. We need to learn how to practice love such that care – for ourselves and others – is understood as political resistance and cultivating resilience. (brown, 2020.)

There is great power that comes with a sexual sense of self – knowing and connecting to ourselves in this way allows for deeper connections with our strongest feelings and desires begins a practice of decolonizing for all individuals that have participated in or have been oppressed by the institutionalized systems. 

“It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire. For having experienced the fullness of this depth of feeling and recognizing its power, in honour and self-respect we can require no less of ourselves.” (Lorde, 1978.)  


Continuing Education for Decolonizing Your Sex

N. Jasmine Johnson - MSW, MA, LCSW, is a licensed clinical therapist, the co-founder of her own adult film production company called Royal Fetish Films, owner of Blue Pearl Therapy, amongst many other accomplishments states that, “We wanted to provide a representation of black and brown people in a way we could all get behind” (Johnson, J.) 

SHA is thrilled to welcome N. Jasmine Johnson October 9th and 10th to our online conference series. This two day workshop will address confronting the unconventional - decolonizing practices in sex, love and lifestyle in practice as well as sex work, trauma, kink and much more.  

References

brown, a. m. (2019). Pleasure Activism. AK Press.

brown, a.m. (2020, June 28). A word for white people, in two parts. Retrieved Oct 01, 2020,from http://adriennemareebrown.net/2020/06/28/a-word-for-white-people-in-two-parts/comment-page-1/.

Gay, R. (2020, September 17). The Legacy of Audre Lorde. Retrieved September 29, 2020, from https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2020/09/17/the-legacy-of-audre-lorde/

Lorde, A., & Browne, M. L. (2020). Sister outsider. NY, NY: Penguin Books. Original essay, 1978.

The Triple Cripples. (2020, March 15). Ericka Hart on decolonising gender, sex education and medicine: Gal-dem. Retrieved October 03, 2020, from https://gal-dem.com/the-world-according-to-ericka-hart/

Edited by Alex Whitman


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Sex In the Time of COVID: Supporting Sex Work

by Eliza Sea

Sex is a complex subject at the best of times and made even more complex now that health authorities are urging populations to refrain from close contact and therefore sex outside of a household.  For many of us, this means we are being told that, “you are your safest sex partner” and for people in the sex work industry these are particularly challenging times. 

One thing we all can do is pay for our porn. This is a great way to support ethical porn production and performers and ensure that during times when we are being told to refrain from many pleasurable activities with others, we can explore solo or COVID-approved sex practices while supporting the sex work industry.

Image credit: Vicky Leta/Mashable

Image credit: Vicky Leta/Mashable

Edited by Alex Whitman

Erika Lust, Swedish erotic film director, screenwriter, and producer, has recently released a COVID era film that highlights six performers from around the world (including SHA’s upcoming conference speaker N.Jasmine Johnson.) “Sex and Love In the Time of Quarantine” transports viewers into the sex lives of how others are experiencing pleasure and staying sane while staying safe.

Check out the trailer and don’t miss out on our exciting upcoming conference October 9th and 10th with N. Jasmine Johnson! Click here to register!


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A Brief History of the Treatment of Female Sexual Dysfunction

SHA welcomes Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz, professor at the University of Ottawa, on September 13th & 14th, as she speaks on the topics of the history of clinical approaches to sexual arousal and desire concerns and optimal erotic intimacy. Register at https://sexualhealthalliance.com/september2020.


A Brief History of the Treatment of Female Sexual Dysfunction

by Eliza Sea

Spanning across history, from the Victorian era to present day, “The history of the treatment of Female Sexual Dysfunction is inextricably bound up with the history of sexology, female sexuality, and conceptions and diagnoses of male and female sexual problems.” (Sexual Desire Disorder, Psychology Today.) The medical relationship with diagnosing sexual dysfunction, particularly with women, is complex. 

The Victorian period (roughly between 1820 and 1914) brought with it strict moral conduct that was expected of everyday society and a view of sexual health that leaned into modesty, lack of bodily awareness, and the cultural belief that sex for men was a need that required attention but for women was not a need and desire but rather a requirement they submitted to to please their husbands. Women were culturally required during this time to be free from sexual desire and pleasure (https://www.britannica.com/event/Victorian-era) and the belief that sex was a husband’s privilege and a wife’s responsibility. (Kleinplatz, History and Treatment of Female Sexual Dysfunction. 2018) 

IMAGE CREDIT: MARIA FABRIZIO FOR NPR

IMAGE CREDIT: MARIA FABRIZIO FOR NPR

Why does understanding Victorian cultural beliefs around sex impact the treatment of female sexual dysfunction in today’s context? 

“Male sexuality has been perceived since the Victorian era as more driven, more ‘naturally’ in need of expression and release, and as the template for sexual desire... Female sexual desire has been perceived as less driven/compelling and therefore, for better or for worse, in the ‘normal,’ feminine woman, more responsive and therefore under better control. This means not only that female disorders have been diagnosed and treated in terms of deviation from whatever had been perceived at a given time as normal female sexuality, but also that normal female sexuality has been perceived as that which deviates from and obstructs male sexual needs.”  https://www-annualreviews-org.ezproxy.library.ubc.ca/doi/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-050817-084802


The idea that desire (or anything else, for that matter) is on a binary scale is no longer (arguable, never) acceptable in today’s progressive discussions around sexual health and pleasure however, it is important to understand the cultural and historical context. Treating sexuality and the expression of it from the lens of deviance and wrongdoing sets the stage for a plethora of problematic conditioning. 


SHA welcomes Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz, professor at the University of Ottawa, on September 13th & 14th, as she speaks on the topics of the history of clinical approaches to sexual arousal and desire concerns and optimal erotic intimacy. Register at https://sexualhealthalliance.com/september2020.


Resources: 

https://www-annualreviews-org.ezproxy.library.ubc.ca/doi/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-050817-084802

https://www-annualreviews-org.ezproxy.library.ubc.ca/doi/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-050817-084802

https://www.britannica.com/event/Victorian-era


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5 Minutes of Fame Interview with Dr. Stephen Snyder, MD

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Denver Director of Operations & Respark Therapy Clinical Manager, Taylor Spaziani, interviews sex and relationship therapist, Dr. Stephen Snyder, MD for our "5 Minutes of Fame" interview series! Dr. Snyder's work focuses on provocative sex and relationship issues. Catch him teaching a day-long online conference on August 28th, 2020 and gain 8 AASECT and state CEs. Workshops are open to all professions.

Register here before tickets sell out!


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5 Minutes of Fame Interview with Sameera Qureshi, MS

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Check out our new interview! SHA Senior Director of Operations, Alex Whitman, interviews sexual health educator, Sameera Qureshi, for our "5 Minutes of Fame" interview series! Sameera's work focuses on sexual health and empowerment in Muslim communities.

Catch her teaching a day-long online conference on August 29th, 2020 and gain 8 AASECT and state CEs. Workshops are open to all professions. Register for here before tickets sell out!


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Statement of Solidarity

Dear SHA Community Members,


We are outraged and saddened by the horrific displays of continuous police brutality among the Black community and the ruthless murders of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Tony McDade, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice, Michael Brown, Philando Castile and countless other names and lives.

We are dedicated to our mission of radical collaboration, which includes the fight against oppression and racism. We strive to be actively anti-racist and will continue raising the bar for ourselves and the organization from events and conferences to our certificate programs and educational materials.  

Commitment to Inclusion & Fighting Injustice

As an educational organization, we believe our best work can be done by helping you, our community members and students gain insight, education, key resources and learning how to advocate for your Black clients and patients. This also includes helping you fight for social justice expand your reach and impact. We will continue to listen and learn how we can advocate in addition to providing resources, scholarships, doing our own work and collaborating with more Black educators, counselors, therapists and community members.
 

Below are some resources we have found helpful:

Justice June 
https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1H-Vxs6jEUByXylMS2BjGH1kQ7mEuZnHpPSs1Bpaqmw0/mobilebasic


Antiracist Resources
https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1PrAq4iBNb4nVIcTsLcNlW8zjaQXBLkWayL8EaPlh0bc/mobilebasic


Ted Talk
https://www.ted.com/talks/kimberle_crenshaw_the_urgency_of_intersectionality


How else can we help you to be actively antiracist? In the therapy room, in coaching spaces, medical exam rooms, other healing spaces and in our communities? How can we use our voices, our skills, and our drive to reform local, state, and federal policies to help improve the lives of our fellow Americans, and citizens of this world? These are big questions to ask, and it's important to sit with them and understand how even the smallest of actions can add up to drive change. 

Organizations and Directories

https://blackmamasmatter.org/

https://antiracismcenter.com/

https://www.blackwomenphysicians.org

https://www.blacktherapistsrock.com

https://therapyforblackgirls.com

https://therapyforblackmen.org

http://www.abpsi.org/find-psychologists/

https://blacktherapistnetwork.com/?s=

Dr. Chris Donaghue Talks Sex with Kristen Bell on The Ellen Show

How do we talk to our kids about sex? Ask Sexual Health Alliance’s Director of Clinical Education and LoveLine host, Dr. Chris Donaghue! He recently sat down on The Ellen DeGeneres Show with actor, Kristin Bell, to talk about how to approach the basics of sex ed with our kids. Dr. Chris states, “As soon as your kids can start to talk, you need to start to have THE TALK.” We love seeing Dr. Chris continuing to promote an integrated and interdisciplinary approach to sexuality at every age.

Catch Dr. Chris’ segment below!



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