BY ALEX WHITMAN AND TULA PITCHER
Getting to Know Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, PhD
“I broke ALL the rules.”
The Sexual Health Alliance (SHA) is centered around providing Provocative Dialogue and Radical Collaboration. What does radical collaboration mean to you?
To me, radical collaboration is about trying to find ways to work with people and organizations on joint projects you both believe in, even when you don't agree on everything. It's about putting differences aside to create something good, rather than shunning and "canceling" people for everything we don't like about them.
What’s it like being based in New York? What’s most interesting or special about being a sexuality professional in such a progressive city?
I love NYC. It's been my home for 10 years and I can't imagine living anywhere else in the US but NYC. There is SO much going on in this city, and for an extrovert high on novelty seeking, it's the definition of heaven on earth. I love having a huge sex-positive community, both personally and professionally, something that's non-negotiable for folks like myself living on the margins of social acceptability.
What are the top three items on your bucket list?
Write a few books.
Collect some nationally representative data on nonmonogamy and consent.
Explore more countries.
What is the most important piece about sex advice that you want all health care providers to know? What would you want them to incorporate into their practice?
There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to sex. Please take into consideration the huge variety in human psychology when doling out advice for how people should go about their sex and relationship lives.
You have some amazing tattoos, can you tell us about the inspiration behind your two favorites?
I love my tattoos, they are all so special to me. Asking me to pick two is like asking me to pick my two favorite children haha. Ok, ok, fine.
Left arm: "I create therefore I am" in Latin - my take on what it means to exist. Descartes thought it was about thinking, I think it's about creating, whatever that may be - for me, it's creating knowledge, self-acceptance, and healthier lives for the people I work with
Back: It's a large piece that symbolically tells my story of fighting against conformity. My place on the high ends of many sexuality spectra has made this fight a defining feature of my life
What was the most impactful lesson you’ve learned through your journey as a sexpert?
I don't know everything. Ask people about their experience, as much as you tell them what you think they should know.
As a prominent sexuality professional, you have made a wonderful career as a sex educator. What kinds of classes do you teach and what’s one piece of knowledge you think everyone should know?
I mostly teach classes on Human Sexuality, Casual sex, Sexual Orientation, and Open relationships
Who is your sexual role model?
Anyone who lives an authentic sexual life despite societal disapproval.
Tell us about your childhood and how you became interested in sexuality studies.
I was always a super sexual child, for as long as I can remember, which led to a sexually precocious teenager who had a very early start. Sex was such a big part of my life, it made sense that I'd be interested in studying that...
What is the most prominent trend you observe among your clients? What is the most important thing you talk about with them?
Among my audience and clientele, I see a lot of interest in exploring nontraditional forms of sex and relationships, like nonmonogamy, casual sex, kink, sex work, porn, etc. My work with them centers around removing the shame often associated with those desires and equipping them with the tools they need to live out their desires in ways that are pleasurable, safe, and ethical for themselves and their partners.
What was it like to grow up in Macedonia, and what is the culture around sexuality there?
Pretty conservative (only heterosexual vanilla monogamous long-term relationship sex was allowed) with heavy double sexual standards of what was allowed for men vs women. I broke ALL the rules.
What’s your favorite way to release steam?
I don't understand the question, lol. Sorry, been working way too much. In normal times, it'd be dance parties and festivals, and lots of fun casual and group sex. These days, it's yoga, meditation, and high-quality sex.
You started your own online relationship course this year. What’s your best piece of relationship advice?
Don't try to make it perfect from the get-go. Teach it live first, then package it as an evergreen standalone course.
What are you reading (or watching) right now?
The Jutterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins
Red Carpet Question: Tell the world what you’re working on! What would you like everyone to know or check out?
I have an online course on (non)monogamy and relationship psychology that just launched, which can be taken self-paced but I'm also teaching live for 12 weeks (until May 2021) and it's not too late to join. drzhana.com/open-smarter
And every 10 days, I host a unique format of group conversations about sex and relationship topics with people from all over the world called Uncensored with Dr. Zhana. drzhana.com/uncensored
Zhana Vrangalova, PhD, is a NYC-based sex and relationships consultant, speaker, and writer focusing on sexually adventurous lifestyles. She holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Cornell University, teaches Human Sexuality courses at New York University, and has published academic research on casual sex, sexual orientation. Dr. Zhana is the creator of Uncensored with Dr. Zhana, a unique format for open, honest conversations about sexuality and relationships in a globalized world. She recently launched Open Smarter, an online course helping people make smarter decisions about their relationship choices using their unique personality. Follow her on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook as @DrZhana
Want more Dr. Zhana? Catch her teaching virtually with SHA Friday, February 26th on healthy casual sex and relationships!
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