By: Eliza Sea

First off, thanks @iamcardib and @megantheestalion for iconizing the best depiction vulva owners can use to embody the power that comes from knowing your body and leaning into its ability to be sexually charged and soaking wet with pleasure.

Remember that episode of Broad City where Ilana couldn’t have an orgasm, seeks out a sex therapist, and realized her pussy had gone on strike after the shocking 2016 election?

My pussy recoils just thinking about it.

This episode feels like a lifetime ago and yet the content and message of it permeates into everyday life back then, and now. Back then we were collectively traumatized that a brazen sexual predator was in the white house. Fast forward to now – after the countless women coming forward, #metoo, BLM, LGBTQIA+ movements, another election – are we ready to put in the lifelong work to break down the devastating impacts of capitalistic and patriarchal systems on our bodies and our pussies? Obviously many (deep acknowledgement to trans women, BIPOC, and intersectional feminists) have been doing this decolonizing work their entire lives, and it is always necessary that this is acknowledged.

In my dating life I make sure to be clear of my own sexual politics, right up front, so as to weed out as many unaware people as possible. I can’t speak to the missed connections but often after matching with someone, I’ll receive messages asking what sexual politics means or someone will share that they swiped right because of sexual politics being a part of my bio. Not only does it confirm my decision to be wholeheartedly honest about who I am and what I’m looking for as well as not playing games right out of the gate, it attracts people toward me who are willing and able to have conversations that often immediately reassure my nervous system that I am just a little bit safer in this wild world of dating. Someone who can engage with me about sexual politics/justice or, at the very least, be curious to hear more, is someone I could see contributing to the world and to the collective and on some level, working to break down the impacts of capitalism and patriarchy on sexuality and romantic connections.

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Pleasure Activism

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The politics of healing and happiness that explodes the dour myth

that changing the world is just another form of work. (adrienne marie brown, 2019)

adrienne marie brown (amb), author of Pleasure Activism; The Politics of Feeling Good, asks the questions –

How do we make social justice the most pleasurable human experience?

How can we awaken within ourselves desires that make it impossible to settle for anything less than a fulfilling life?

The ruthless scorpio in me is furious that we even have to ask these questions, the intellect is engaged and ready to filter people through these questions to find connection with others, and the educator in me realizes how important weaving justice and conscious pleasure into everyday pedagogy is for young people and our collective future. Pleasure is not just something to associate with sexual experience or food or dating but rather an element of life that when tapped into can transform experience. What if young people were nurtured to uncover their authentic selves, to discover what parts of the world they are drawn toward and how they can contribute to the collective and in a way that allows their own sense of self to shine through? What if pleasure always intersected with consent and a generation of people moved into the world always understanding the deep importance and interconnectedness of these two things?

“Audre Lorde taught us that caring for ourselves is ‘not self indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.’”(amb, 2017.) Pleasure activism, like anything, begins with ourselves and our ability to connect to our own being. amb shares that her motivations for writing the book are centered around recognizing pleasure as a measure of freedom and liberation, leaning into curiosity around it, and acknowledging and addressing shame and its manifestations. (amb, 2019.) A footnote on page one urges readers to cultivate a practice of self love –

“If you can, I suggest that you have an orgasm

before diving into this book and at the beginning of

each new section. I am not joking – an orgasm a day

keeps the doctor away and the worries at bay.”

(amb, 2019.)

I am always a bit taken aback when speaking to friends how few of them self pleasure, let alone enjoy it, cultivate it, prioritize it, and use the energy to move through life in more conscious ways. While I can only speak for myself, going deep within is no simple task, despite our best efforts because unfortunately, the systems in place do not see the long term value in our own pleasure. “What we need right now is a radical, global love that grows from deep within us to encompass all life.” (amb, 2017.) So, mastrubate more and contribute to a better world? Sounds like a good place to start.