The Kinsey Institute and Match have just released their 14th Annual Singles in America Study and it’s a goldmine of insight into how we love, lust, and connect (or don’t) in 2025. From the rise of AI-assisted flirting to post-Roe dating hesitations, the findings paint a vivid picture of what it means to look for love today.
And that’s just one look at the state of American dating. The Kinsey Institute’s own research, led by experts like Dr. Justin Lehmiller, goes even deeper. At this year’s SHA Annual Sexological Conference, Lehmiller unpacked how shifting social norms, sexual behaviors, and technologies are redefining what it means to connect in the modern world.
Who’s Dating (or Not): Modern dating in 2025
Over 5,000 adults aged 18 to 97 were surveyed, representing all U.S. states and diverse backgrounds. The sample included:
51% women, 48% men, and 1% non-binary
4% trans participants
88% straight, 5% gay, 6% bisexual, 1% other identities
Representation across regions and income levels
Among these adults, nearly half have been single for five years or longer, with another quarter single for one to four years. Almost half didn’t go on a single date in the past year, while one in five went on five or more.
How Are People Meeting?
Despite new tools and old traditions, online dating still reigns supreme:
20% met on a dating app
18% through friends
12% at work or through “chance encounters” (coffee shop meet-cute, anyone?)
10% on social media
A tiny 0.6% used a matchmaking service (cue the reality TV spinoff).
Are Singles Ready for Love?
Half of participants said they’re ready for a long-term relationship, including 1 in 3 saying they’re very ready.
62% of single seekers want a committed, exclusive relationship (Two-thirds of women agree, slightly fewer men do)
58% of women and 39% of men say they’re not interested in casual sex
When it comes to first dates:
1 in 5 won’t have sex on the first date
Most people say it takes three dates to assess sexual chemistry
Nearly 1 in 4 prioritize trust and emotional connection above all
What Makes Someone Attractive
Turns out, being kind is still sexy. The top traits singles are looking for:
Kindness & empathy (48%)
Physical attraction (39%)
Shared values (35%)
And the biggest deal breakers?
Dishonesty (83%)
Emotional unavailability (67%)
Lack of attraction (61%)
Non-monogamy (60%)
Modern dating in 2025: The Cost of Connection
Dating isn’t cheap. Singles now spend over $200 a month, with active daters spending closer to $300, nearly double what people reported in 2013.
Men report spending twice as much as women on dates and prep, though both invest similar effort in grooming before a date.
Romance Isn’t Dead
Despite all the cynicism, love is alive and thriving:
60% of singles identify as romantic
60% believe in love at first sight (up from 34% in 2014!)
73% believe romantic love can last forever
69% believe in destiny
51% think there’s one perfect person for them
Hopeless romantics, rejoice.
Gender & Generations
The gender gap is real. And people are perceiving it that way; 70% of singles say it’s widening, especially among Gen Z (80%).
Men often feel misjudged as commitment-phobic or emotionally unaware
Women say they’re wrongly labeled as gold diggers or “too independent.”
And yes, 25% of singles have dated someone 10+ years younger, with men reporting this more often.
Love, Politics, and Sex
Politics are still shaking up relationships:
13% of singles ahve lost friends over abortion views
At least 9% changed their sexual behavior post–Dobbs (Roe v. Wade reversal) having less sex, using more contraception, or dating less frequently
Generational Deep Dive: Modern dating in 2025
Another cool finding of this study was seeing trends across generations.
Gen Z (18–27):
Fewer are having sex; 30% are intentionally celibate
Half have used AI for dating help
68% want marriage, but fewer want kids (49%)
More likely to wait for a committed relationship before sex (29%)
Report the smallest gender gap of all generations
Millennials (28–43):
The “horniest generation,” reporting the most sex and the most boredom with “vanilla” sex (50%)
64% want commitment, 39% are still open to casual dating
Over half feel behind on life milestones
Use dating apps the most (52%)
Gen X (44–59):
Nearly half have been divorced
Most likely to feel behind in relationships (55%)
Use dating apps and AI less than younger singles
More accepting of gender roles than Boomers
Boomers (60+):
Least interested in sex overall
Women report lowest levels of sexual desire
Why Sexual Health Professionals Matter More Than Ever
Dating today can be complicated, and singles are increasingly turning to sexual health professionals for guidance. The study shows that 81% of active daters seek advice, compared to just 51% of those who are not actively dating.
42% turn to friends, while 33% don’t seek guidance at all.
Gen Z is more likely to ask their mom or siblings (25%), showing how trusted guidance is evolving.
About 1 in 10 singles consult a therapist or counselor — a number likely to grow as more adults remain single and seek support navigating modern relationships.
Why is professional support so crucial?
Communication continues to challenge many singles:
43% report mismatched expectations for casual versus serious relationships
41% struggle with differing communication styles
39% note differences in emotional availability
Family dynamics also play a big role:
65% say their parents influenced how they date
1 in 3 feel their upbringing made trust harder
40% of Gen Zers blame parents for poor communication skills
Most singles don’t see their parents as #RelationshipGoals (#yes, I am a millennial), and that’s where sexual health professionals step in. They fill the gaps left by family and friends, helping individuals navigate their personal and sexual histories, develop communication skills, and create a safe space to explore relationships and sexuality. In short, sexual health professionals are essential guides in the modern dating landscape.
Modern dating in 2025: The Bottom Line
Modern dating isn’t dead; it’s evolving. From AI-assisted matchmaking to post-Roe realities and Gen Z celibacy, singles are rewriting what connection means. Yet one thing remains timeless: people crave honesty, empathy, and emotional safety.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller, social psychologist, researcher, and author from the Kinsey Institute, will be unpacking groundbreaking insights on single adults in the US dating trends at this year’s SHA Annual Sexological Conference including what these shifts reveal about relationships, sexual behaviors, and intimacy.
As Dr. Lehmiller and other global experts at the SHA Annual Sexological Conference remind us, these are the moments that define our work. Whether supporting singles through heartbreak or helping couples deepen connection, sexual health professionals are the bridge between confusion and clarity in modern love.
Ready to be part of the change?
Get certified through SHA and help guide the next generation of daters toward connection, confidence, and authentic intimacy.
Written by Emma Sell-Goodhand, MPH
Emma is a doctoral student and Global One Health Fellow at North Carolina State University studying adolescent sexual health. She brings prior experience as a Technical Advisor at the World Health Organization.
Want to become an in-demand sexual health professional? Learn more about becoming certified with SHA!
