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Written by Briana Beaver
Why research sex and disability?
How is it 2025, and we still do not recognize the full humanity of people with disabilities?
How have we climbed the invisible staircase of technological advancement and yet we cannot completely wrap our hearts around the tapestry of human connection threaded within us all?
My forays into the research world regarding sexuality and disability were motivated by the fact that I felt like I was an outsider. I felt as though dating, romance, and sexuality were the perpetual parties I was never invited to; the adorable guy who sat next to me in every class but never indicated anything beyond platonic interest; the secrets of collegiate enterprise that would never be whispered in my ear.
So, I unconsciously gravitated towards whatever modes of education were available to me; the kind you didn’t have to flirt with, negotiate a strange language of eroticism that I could never quite conceptualize. I wanted to know if I was the only person with a disability who felt so excluded from sexual adventure, education, and the typical romantic interplay I witnessed.
By sharing my research, I hope to be able to demonstrate different facets of the intersections of social circumstances that can impact those of us with and without disabilities. I think being exposed to uncommonly shared voices and experiences can enrich the collective human species and help us all learn. To that effort, I encourage everybody, those of us with and without disabilities, to view this as an invitation for introspection. Let’s jump into some of my research!
Sex, Disability, and Sexual Freedom
People with physical disabilities have unique beliefs, experiences, and challenges with sexuality and romance that are rarely included in academic literature (Yoshida et al., 1999). The widespread discrediting of individuals with disabilities as sexual beings has left a void in knowledge about the full spectrum of human sexuality. Systematic segregation often creates challenges for individuals with physical disabilities in expressing their sexual identities and engaging in romantic relationships. These challenges can lead others to treat them as and expect them to behave as silent bystanders in their own lives (Shakespeare et al., 1996). Social arrangements encourage beliefs that people with physical disabilities are incapable of exercising the same sexual freedoms as their able-bodied peers (Kangaude & Phil, 2009).
The feelings of inadequacy and barriers that people with disabilities encounter as sexual beings are a result of life experiences (Taleptros & McCabe, 2002; Cole & Cole, 1993; Tepper, 2003; Gordon, Tschopp & Feldman, 2004; Shakespeare, Gillespie-Sens & Davies, 1996). People with physical disabilities are bombarded with negative representations of disability that portray those who “suffer from” a disability as asexual, unattractive, unworthy, and incapable of engaging in sexual behavior from physical, emotional, and mental perspectives (Shakespeare, Gillespie-Sens & Davies, 1996).
Sex, Disability, and Stigma
Erving Goffman’s theory of stigma posits that disabilities comprise one of the three types of stigma known as “abominations of the body” (41). He explains that when a person without a disability meets a person with a disability, he immediately notices and recognizes the other person’s “attribute that is deeply discrediting” (Goffman, 43, 1986). This recognition leads to stigma, a term referring to “bodily signs designed to expose something unusual and bad about the moral status of the signifier” (Goffman, 14, 1986).
Although the two individuals have just met, the development of stigma leads the able- bodied individual to make assumptions based upon a singular attribute, such as the belief that because the person has a disability, he is unattractive, asexual, and unintelligent, thereby discrediting the individual as a potential romantic partner (Goffman, 1986; Taleporos & McCabe, 2002). In essence, the disability becomes an all-encompassing label that overpowers other traits about the individual. A study about the negotiation of physical space between those with and without disabilities found that able-bodied individuals create less physical space between themselves and other able-bodied people than from people with disabilities, demonstrating that there is a social uneasiness associated with disability (Taleporos & McCabe, 2002).
The Label of Disability
This sense of uneasiness can cause able-bodied people to keep distance between themselves and those perceived to have a disability. This process prevents further interaction between the two individuals that could discredit some of the assumptions the able-bodied individual has about the person with a disability. Because further conversation does not ensue, the power of the label of disability remains. It is important to recognize that the way we treat people has ramifications. The most immediate repercussion is that negative assumptions about the absence of sexual desire for people with disabilities are common among the general population. We believe that individuals with disabilities do not have sexual interest, yet research has shown they do.
For example, in research about adolescents with physical disabilities and sexuality conducted by Berman et al. (1999), 83 percent of respondents between the ages of 12 and 18 reported that they expected to have a sexual relationship in the future. During their interviews with women between the ages of 30 and 80 with physical disabilities, including but not limited to multiple sclerosis, polio, visual and hearing impairment, Yoshida et al., (1995) found that participants often expressed significant concern about the increased complexities that having a disability adds to intimate and marital relationships, emphasizing their desires to find a partner. These and other studies (Wilder, 2005; Fink et al., 1968) indicate that individuals with physical disabilities have sexual needs, desires, and expectations for romantic relationships.
Disability doesn’t equal asexuality
Assumptions that peg those with physical disabilities as asexual are also problematic because they perpetuate stereotypes that lead to continued isolation, segregation, depression, poor body image, loneliness, frustration, and feelings of failure (Taleptros & McCabe, 2002). These feelings of inadequacy are further cemented by overwhelming institutional inequalities, making Americans with disabilities more likely than able-bodied citizens to be uneducated, unemployed, and living in poverty (Cornell University American Community Survey, 2008).
If we are to move forward in creating more opportunities for individuals with disabilities, we must begin by shifting our perspective of disability. My research participants’ experiences confirm that the socialization process and being treated differently due to disability are at the core of their frustrations. This means that their challenges stem not from their disabilities themselves, but rather from how others treat them. Instead of accepting and perpetuating an antiquated medical conceptualization of disability that labels and criticizes, it would behoove us to shift our perspective to one that recognizes disability as a socially constructed phenomenon.
By viewing disability as something we create that influences how we treat people with disabilities, we can change our minds about what disability means. Embracing a respectful perspective built upon awareness and acknowledgment of people with disabilities seeking companionship and sexual agency, just as their able-bodied peers, can ameliorate life for people with disabilities, as well as those without.
Briana Beaver graduated summa cum laude from California State University, Chico with a degree in Sociology. Since graduation, she’s remained passionate about social justice and human rights. As the former co-founder and director of the only fully inclusive nonprofit in Butte County, CA, serving children with and without disabilities and their families, she’s a dedicated social steward. As an inclusion consultant and a former columnist, she is dedicated to building a bridge for equality through writing and academic research. Briana is the administrator of the Sex With Disability Facebook Group. You can learn more about Briana’s research and connect with her at Hands Across Humanity.
Resources for Sex and Disability Support
If you would like to speak to a sexual health professional about sex and disability, please contact ReSpark Group. This couples and sex therapy practices provides coaching services worldwide with both virtual and in-person options depending on location. Click here to contact the ReSpark Group Care Team.
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