Each year, January seems to bring an influx of change. In some ways, this can be beneficial, helping us recenter and refocus our energies and goals as we move into a new year. But oftentimes this narrative of change is focused on what not to do, and actually shames us for our habits and processes. It can be difficult to see restrictive goal setting, diet culture, and negative self-image on the rise on social media and in our social circles. The best way to combat this negativity is to take the time at the beginning of the year to come up with resolutions that center your happiness. These sex-positive, body-positive, and mind-positive goals will set you on the right track for your year and will be much easier to stick to long-term.
When setting goals for your sex life, consider reflecting on your past experiences to better understand what aspects have benefitted you and brought you happiness and which experiences have detracted from your mental wellness. This could mean a shift in the partner or partners you choose, your sexual healthcare practices, or the way you frame sex in your mind. If you have had a new partner lately, it could be a great time to get tested and start the year off with a clean slate. If there are items on your sex bucket list that you would love to try, set the intention, to be honest, and brave this year! Especially if you are in a long-term, monogamous relationship, you can explore ways to add intrigue and excitement into your sex life. Another goal that may be particularly beneficial is to be more present and conscious in your decisions around sex, which will allow you to make choices that reflect your values. This is sometimes referred to as practicing mindful sex, which centers around the sex you have doesn’t need to be less, more, or completely different—it just needs to serve you in your current life stage.
When setting goals that have to do with your body, try to focus on how you feel rather than how you look. Consider your relationship with food and water. Do you feel hydrated daily, or are you often thirsty? Are you getting the vitamins and minerals your body needs through your food intake? It’s also valuable to consider how you feel about your consumption. If your meals are leaving you feeling sluggish and sick, it may be time to focus on different foods that will leave you feeling satisfied and healthy. If you have tried fad diets in the past, think about trying out intuitive eating this year, a method that focuses on how you feel. It may also be helpful to consider what outside forces may be affecting your body image. Maybe the mirrors in your house need to be changed around, or your clothes are feeling uncomfortable on your body. A change that I personally made was selling my pairs of pants that were just too tight to wear comfortably, and using that money to buy pants that fit better. 2022 is the year of having clothing that fits our bodies, not bodies that fit into our clothing!
For mind-centered goals, it is helpful to reflect on the activities and practices you currently have that bring positivity to your life. This could be acts of self-care, certain relationships, spending time with your pets, or getting outside. With an idea of what parts of your life spark joy, you can begin to prioritize these experiences and let go of anything that is dragging you down into negativity. Outside of your day-to-day experiences, there are so many ways to care for your mind, such as meditation, journaling, and breathing techniques. Adding just a few exercises to strengthen and protect your mind can be so beneficial to your overall well-being. If you have been struggling with mental health over the past year (you’re not alone on that) then seeking counseling or therapy can be a great way to alleviate some of the pressure of handling your mental health all on your own. It can also make such a big difference in your life to have someone to talk to about your experiences and emotions.
New Year’s doesn’t have to be the time to ditch all of your usual habits and go through a major transformation. It can really just be about taking the time to see what parts of your life are serving you, and which are draining you. If you add in a few practices to care for your sexual, physical, and emotional self, it could make all the difference.
By Sydney Sullivan