To be non-binary is to exist outside of the construct of the western gender binary. The gender binary is “the Western concept that there are only two gender options: male or female.” (minus18.org.au) The gender binary is harmful in the sense that it perpetuates gendered ideologies related to societal definitions of what it means to be a cis-man or cis-woman. The binary is ultimately redundant, as a person of any gender can experience masculinity and feminity. Gender is fluid, and it’s near impossible to exist entirely on one side of the binary. The simplest way to define non-binary is “someone who does not identify as exclusively a man or a woman.” (minus18.org.au) Although nonbinary is often regarded as a new idea, “the identifier has been around for as long as civilization has.” (healthline) Nonbinary gender has been recorded as far back as 400 B.C. to 200 A.D. when Hijras — people in India who identified as beyond male or female — were referenced in ancient Hindu texts. India is progressive in the sense that its culture and language reflect Hijras, actively acknowledging individuals whose gender exists outside of the male-female binary.
A nonbinary individual may feel like a mix of genders or identify with no gender at all. There are a lot of different ways to exist as a non-binary individual in society, all of which are valid. There are several identifiers that fall underneath the nonbinary category:
agender
gender-fluid
androgynous
boi
bigender
Multigender (healthline)
It’s a common misconception that non-binary individuals don’t identify with the gender binary at all. This is not true, as a nonbinary individual may identify with either or both sides of the male-female binary. A common identifier for a non-binary individual who feels partially connected to masculine or feminine identity is demi gender. An example of this term in use is as follows:
Demi girl
Demi boy
Demifluid (healthline)
Although these phrases may appear to have straightforward definitions, their uses can vary across different languages and cultures. In this sense, it’s essential always to ask an individual what an identifier means to them. This way, you can respect a person’s identity properly.
Nonbinary Pronouns
Another common misconception is that non-binary individuals only use gender-neutral pronouns. This isn’t always the case. Pronouns are the words that take the place of a person’s name, they are often gendered in our society. We live in a world where gendered language is the norm. Groups of people are often referred to as “ladies and gentlemen” when the person speaking doesn’t actually know the gender identities of those to whom they are speaking. This is why the use of pronouns is important. Pronouns are not just crucial for non-binary individuals but for people of all genders. Pronouns are a source of validation for many individuals, non-binary people included. For non-binary people, pronouns have “become a powerful way to assert an aspect of their gender that’s often unseen or unaligned with others’ assumptions.” (healthline) In this sense, pronouns have the power to both affirm and invalidate a person’s existence. This is why it’s important to always ask a person for their pronouns to ensure that you are respecting their identity. Some non-binary people use binary pronouns such as:
she/her/hers
he/him/his
Some non-binary people use gender-netural pronouns such as:
they/them/ theirs
ze/hir/ hirs
ze/zir/zis (healthline)
These 3 are the most common gender-neutral pronouns in English but it’s essential to know that there are others. Another vital thing to remember is that pronouns can be fluid, just like gender. A non-binary individual may also identify as gender-fluid in the sense that their desired pronoun changes regularly. A gender fluid person can identify with she/her/hers pronouns sometimes and other times identify with they/them/theirs or any other pronoun. This is a valid form of identity and further emphasizes why it’s crucial to always ask individuals about their identifiers before engaging in a conversation with them. Overall, to be nonbinary is to not conform to the standards that western society has set for gender. Gender is fluid and it does exist outside of the male-female binary.
By: Alyssa Morterud