As summer approaches, travel plans expand and the costs of flights increase, what better than to address the phenomenon of airport crushes? Something about those plastic seats, overpriced food and dry air just makes everyone so much more…attractive? With a 10-hour flight to Mexico ahead of me later this year (and my overactive imagination praying to be sat next to a cute guy who coincidentally is staying at the same resort), I figured why not delve into the psychology of it all? What is it about airports that makes people seem that bit more appealing?
I personally blame most rom-coms (specifically Love Actually) and the finale of Friends. It is not that every model in our area has suddenly come to the airport at the same time, but instead that the fantasy and imaginative power of our brain has stemmed from these TV and film scenes. There is a lack of research into this phenomenon, with the only discussion of it appearing on mainstream media, specifically TikTok. Let’s take a look at what I could find, and any theories I came up with along the way:
Anxiety
The “misattribution of arousal” may be one reason for finding airport and airplane crushes, especially for people who don’t find traveling to be the most relaxing thing. Ira Hyman, Ph.D, explains that in stressful or anxiety-inducing situations, people may find themselves being more aroused by those around them. It isn’t being up high (or surrounded by large birds in my case) that makes someone more attractive, but the way that arousal and fear can manifest in the same way. Our hearts speed up, palms get sweaty and we become more cognitively alert in both situations. For the fearful flier, being in the airport alone could be enough to set off these physiological arousal, and in turn end up finding others in the check-in queue more attractive.
Transformation and thrill
Psychologist Lisa Marie Bobby, LMFT, explains that one reason for airport crushes is the thrill of uncertainty combined with the anticipation of novelty. Prior to the trip, it is likely that you have spent some time trying to predict the details—so it makes sense that your mind might wonder about a romantic interaction. You’ve been planning all these experiences on your holiday, whether that be a boat trip or visiting a famous site, so it can become thrilling to imagine that we could find some romance on our travels. Traveling in itself is seen as a form of transformation, changing you into a more educated or experienced person—when thinking about transforming, our minds can only focus on the transformation from being single, to meeting your next partner on the plane!
You’re bored.
You read that right. One argued reason for the airport/plane crush is because traveling can be so incredibly dull. Long queues, delays and a lack of entertainment on flights can lead to us desperately searching for something fun—this is where a crush enters the scene. Gone is the question “do I like them or are they just tall?” and now we ask “are they attractive or are they just my age?” Regardless of the true answer, your brain has found something more interesting to focus on… and now the long security queue doesn’t seem quite so bad.
My own theory
I’m no psychologist, but I have my own theory that stems off a common book trope of forced proximity— more specifically, the “there’s only one bed trope.” You know what I’m talking about. Two kind-of “friends” away on a trip, it’s been a long day and when they arrive at their stay there’s been a mistake and there’s only one bed booked instead of two. They both agree to stay to their sides of the bed, but eventually move closer to one another… the ending vastly depends on the type of book you’re reading. Airplanes work in a similar way. You are sitting incredibly close to a stranger with the mutual (unspoken) agreement to stick to your side of the armrest. But your mind can’t help but wonder… what would happen if you both used the arm rest… would your hands touch? Maybe they’ll fall asleep and accidentally rest their head on your shoulder. Either way, the idea of forced proximity changing into tender touch is something that we have learned from these books, and is my own theory as to why we develop airport/airplane crushes.
There is no certain answer as to why it is that airport crushes seem to be such a commonly experienced phenomenon. Maybe it is just the sheer boredom as we are clutching onto straws to find something (or someone) remotely interesting. My money is firmly on the influence of books, films, and shows for giving us far too much false hope that we are going to fall in love with our soulmate on a plane.
Written by Steph McCartney.