Please enable javascript in your browser to view this site!

Sexual Health Blogs

Non-Binary Identity and the Politics of the Self

Non-Binary Awareness Week is upon us, and what better way to celebrate than by reflecting on its significance for this particular part of the queer community? While July 14th, 2023 will be International Non-Binary People’s Day, the week that surrounds this particular Friday of Gender Fuckery—July 10th to July 16th—is Non-Binary Awareness Week. These days are dedicated to commemorating, remembering, and raising awareness of our genderqueer, genderfluid, agender, bigender, and gender non-conforming friends around the world.

What does it mean to be non-binary? Well, one could argue that there are as many variations and definitions of what being non-binary is as there are non-binary people on the planet. Generally, though, identifying as non-binary means identifying in a way that does not conform to the traditional gender binary, which assumes that all people are one of two genders: female or male, woman or man. People who identify as a man or a woman resonate with a gender within the system of the gender binary. In contrast, a non-binary person is someone who identifies with a gender that is neither male nor female (or both male and female!) or identifies outside of the notion of gender completely.

However, for many non-binary and gender non-conforming folk, this identity goes beyond a superficial expression of gender as a performance: it is a lifestyle and a form of a politics of the self. Gender theorists like Judith Butler and Gloria Anzaldúa see the created and imposed gender binary and simply reject it. Through their lived experiences, expressions and identities, they question and expose the binary system as an unnecessary and oppressive force.

More than three decades after Judith Butler published Gender Trouble (1990), their groundbreaking theory on gender performativity and how it is maintained and created through social imposition and interaction, they stated in an interview with the Guardian that “It was meant to be a critique of heterosexual assumptions within feminism, but it turned out to be more about gender categories.” Those of us who have delved into queer theory know that feminism and all its discontents can be the beginning of years of questioning, unlearning, and deconstructing the self and the world around you. When one delves even deeper into these issues, it becomes increasingly challenging to dismiss the undeniable reality that gender is merely a social construct—an intricate interplay of performance, expectations, and expressions shaping the notions of 'manhood' and 'womanhood.'

As stated by the content creator U₂O:


“Being non-binary is not about pronouns, it is not about if you’re on hormones or gender-affirming surgery, it’s not even about how androgynous you are, it’s not about the language you choose to talk about yourself. To be non-binary is to see the binary world that we live in (...). Maybe there’s more to life than these standards and expectations. Being non-binary is a way of life. It shows up in the way that you interact with yourself and people and relationships.”

Moreover, they state that a lot of people that start using they/them pronouns forget to question these binaries and expectations in the ways they perpetuate misogyny, expecting feminine people to do emotional labor, while expecting masculine people to be providers.  What I found important in their video is how they emphasize that the label of ‘non-binary’ exists not only as gender expression, but as a way of life and change in the way one sees the world and their place in it. 

As a gender non-conforming person myself, I draw inspiration from thinkers who integrate their politics into their everyday life. I believe it is important to exist in a way that reminds people that all this gender shit is—in a sense—made up. Gender nonconformity and queerness rely on social processes that create and reproduce gender expression and sexuality. “Doing gender” is an everyday routine accomplishment embedded in social interactions, and is also connected to self-image, embodiment (physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual), and a multitude of interlacing factors. The way in which I choose to live everyday is a conscious choice of resistance against traditional gender binaries; resistance against an imposed narrative based on designated stories loosely related to biological assumptions. It is a daily expression of how my truest self feels on that day, and it is a chance to rediscover who I am at every moment through an acknowledgement of my daily gender expression and embodiment. I ask: how does my body feel today? What energy resonates with me the most? What do I feel comfortable and confident wearing? For me, my non-binary identity is an act of self-love and awareness of the way in which I desire to interact with the world. 

In a previous Nymphomedia piece I explored the thoughts of Gloria Anzaldúa, who raises important questions about the process of the naturalizing and normalizing of dominant heteronormative culture and the gender binary existent within society’s multiple layers of identification. Although gender nonconformity is a statement of resistance and acknowledgement of the social construction of it all, recognizing both the material and spiritual significance of gender is still essential for the holistic well-being of many queer individuals. Trans and non-binary people around the world are continuously targeted and persecuted for being who they are. Hence, as we continue to see and unlearn these created binary systems, it is important to celebrate those of us who embody this in one way or another. Gender non-conforming folk have been around forever, and as they continue to embody resistance against dominant cisheteronormative culture, we ought to continue to celebrate their existences. 

As Non-Binary Awareness Week unfolds and International Non-Binary People's Day draws near, we come together to honor the profound significance of embracing fluidity, self-expression, and self-acceptance in our collective celebration of dissenting from the confines of the gender binary. Gender diversity is not only something beautiful and powerful, but it also reminds us that we ought to question what we are taught and find out things for ourselves. Happy Gender Fuckery Week!

PS: Here are some great non-binary individuals to keep up with:

Written by Alicia Caldentey Langley (she/they)