How to Respond to an Unsolicited Dick Pic

With 76% of the female population having reported receiving an unsolicited explicit picture, it seems important to begin the conversation from a different perspective, that of what comes after the dreaded dick pic. Though more recently, states have been cracking down on “cyber-flashing,” the fact is that this issue is widely prevalent and pervasive. As long as we live in the age of the internet, people are probably going to abuse that power. So what are the best ways to respond to an unwanted, unexpected picture of genitalia? SHA has some tips:

1. Tell the sender off

   Depending on your level of frustration and confidence at the moment of receiving a dick pic, it is perfectly acceptable to express to the individual that their actions are unacceptable. You might even throw in how receiving that picture made you feel, so they are sure that their intended response was not met. 

2. Delete the message

   Out of sight, out of mind. While this is easier said than done in a case of online assault, deleting the picture is one way to move on with your day while offering the sender no satisfaction. In some cases, the sender actually wants to trigger an emotional response, such as fear and frustration. Not responding and simply deleting allows you to take your power back, and give none away to random men on the internet. 

3. Block the sender

   Another tactic if you’re not feeling as bold is to simply block the individual. This will make it so that you are no longer forced to look at the picture or the profile. It will also make it so the individual can no longer contact you on the platform. This is especially helpful for those of us worried about retaliation, cyber-stalking, and harassment – all also pervasive in the age of the internet, and valid fears as women on the internet. 

4. Report the sender

   Take it one step further than blocking and make sure the platform knows about the individual’s actions. Most platforms allow you to report individuals for inappropriate content. In this situation, that is absolutely justified. Reporting will send a message to the platform’s headquarters for review and possible disciplinary action. This might include the banning of the individual’s profile or the limiting of its functionality on the site. 

5. Mess with the sender

   You’ve probably seen this tactic go viral on social media. When women receive unsolicited dick pics, it can sometimes be fun to turn the tables. This may include sending gross photos back to the person, acting as if the number they contacted will get them in legal trouble, or simply making fun of the individual (or the member) in the image. With this strategy, there may be other concerns, such as the individual continuing to contact you. But, if you think it is safe to do so, playing along can be a fun way to subvert the negative messaging.

6. Pinpoint the sender’s location

   This one probably requires some technical knowledge and/or connections in high places. But if you’re able, finding the location of the individual from the message allows you to ensure there will be no further contact and may alert law enforcement to the issue. This may be the most realistic way to make the individual feel the same sort of fear you felt. Remember to always prioritize your own safety and involve law enforcement if the situation escalates to this point. 

7. Don’t accept excuses

   The time may come when the sender sends a follow-up message attempting to justify their behavior or offering meaningless comments about you in order to justify their behavior to themselves. On an individual level, it may be easy to excuse one, simple mistake. But seeing as how many women are targeted with these photos, cyber-flashing is clearly an epidemic, and individuals have ways of getting what they want. Remember that you are right to be feeling this way, and the sender is in the wrong. 

8. Reach out to someone trusted

   Beneath and beyond all of these suggestions, having a heart-to-heart with someone you know and love can be a great way to recenter yourself. Expressing any emotions that were triggered by the interaction puts a name to the feeling and can allow for in-person validation. It’s likely that the other person you talk to has been in a similar situation, so they may be able to help you commiserate or cope. In the age of the internet, real-life support systems are more necessary than ever. 

Ultimately, there will always be individuals who use the internet aggressively. Coming to terms with that is part of engaging online. So, instead of limiting yourself and hiding away off the grid, standing in your power in whatever way you are able ensures that these individuals do not and cannot disrupt your energy long-term. Whatever way you decide to respond to a dick pic, SHA supports your decision to combat online negativity and promote safe, positive sexual interactions. 

By Emil Carriere