With new subscription boxes and couple’s tips and tricks entering the market daily, it is easy to get swept up in all the new things to try. At SHA, we’ve talked about many games for couples, apps for couples, and ways to connect, which is why we’re bringing you a sneak peek and full review of Arya, the latest in apps for couples and their relationship. Arya is a concierge service focused on enhancing intimacy and sexual connection for committed couples. I was invited to join Arya because of my position as a content writer for the Sexual Health Alliance. I did not have to pay for my subscription and the first 30 readers who sign up here will also receive a free Scene! The following review consists solely of my opinions and feelings from this first month of using Arya.
What is Arya?
“I’ve always wanted to try ______ but wasn’t sure how to ask for it.”
Put simply, Arya is a subscription box for couples of all kinds, but now this is where the simplicity ends, as Arya is expertly distanced from other run-of-the-mill couples' subscription boxes or services. Arya is like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure subscription service that narrows in on where you and your partner are in your relationship or sexual journey. For some, play of various kinds could already be an integral part of their sexual dynamic while for others, kink is a subject that hasn’t been broached yet.
When you sign up, Arya asks you “What do you want to focus on?” and provides two options: 1) Deeper Intimacy or 2) More Sex and Eroticism. From there, it asks you to dig deeper by selecting your key to unlocking Arya whether this is to explore new things, deepen your connection, learn more about foreplay, bridge your sexual desires, or take your sex life to the next level. Take a deep breath and choose the one that speaks to you first–you can only choose one thing to work on at a time so even if your partnership could benefit from more than one of these keys, start with one. After those initial two questions, Arya sets out to create a unique experience for you by asking you more sexual history questions, such as if you have any health issues or any relationship or trust issues that could impede your sexual exploration. With these answers, and when your partner answers the same, Arya creates your Erotic Persona that continuously learns from your responses and tailors the best experience for you.
Once signed up, you and your partner will receive separate text messages that have prompts, Scene teasers, erotica, and finally, a decision to make that will set the tone of your Scene. As the concierge, Arya acts as a third party that makes suggestions versus the need of one partner to be vulnerable and directly suggest new activities. Finally, Arya users receive a carefully curated box of sensual goodies that meet you at your phase of the journey. After receiving the box and completing the scene, couples shared with Arya that their direct communication has improved drastically thanks to the ample opportunity for discussion throughout the Scene and after. The sharing of this new experience never ends and couples are able to learn more about themselves and their partner in the process. When the Scene and conversations are done, fret not, Arya is not. Arya is not a one-time box, but rather a journey that couples progress through. The goal is to keep experiencing, keep learning new things with and about your partner and Arya, with their handpicked and specially curated Scenes just for them.
My First scene with Arya
Currently, Arya is a text-based service, so the first text message I received after signing up was short and sweet–with a link provided, it read “it’s time to find pleasure in the pampering.” Curious at the ambiguity, and what was behind that hyperlink, I clicked and was directed to Arya’s website, but exclusively a minute-long video with a song by The Weeknd playing and sensual suggestions in video montage form (think massage, erotic eating, wine in bed, flowers and candles, etc). Below the video was an opportunity to rate and review the above content, but nothing else.
My second text came later that same day and shared what the Scene would be about: Massage. With another in-text link, I was led to Arya’s site, but specifically a blog post (which I assume is inaccessible to those without this specific link). The Scene my partner and I would be participating in was titled Treat Your Partner and this post offered insights into the Acts of Service love language. I was a little nervous about the Scene at first; Zack is a notoriously bad masseuse and harbors a passionate distaste for lotions and oils of all kinds–how could I convince him this was a good idea?
Luckily, I didn’t have to right away. The next text I received, a few days later, asked me to read some fantasy stories. There were three to choose from and they ranged in explicitness to meet anyone on their journey. All stories are written in-house by Arya erotic writers. After reading the steamy story, it was suggested I share one of them with my partner. Naturally, life got away from me for a little bit, but Arya texted me a nudge, reminding me to share one of the stories with my partner and move the Scene along.
All of these previous texts were to set the stage and provide inspiration for the Scene to come. The next text I received was when the action happened: it was time to decide who would be giving and who would be receiving the massage. I wasn’t left to make this decision alone, however. Arya offered encouragement and further tips on how to voice your desires with your partner. I also received a text nudge here too, to select who was giving and who was receiving.
Once my partner and I decided I would give him the massage to show him what I like for future massages, my next texts provided me with massage how-tos, tips, and tricks. A few days later, I was provided a link to see what would be coming in my Arya box of goodies. When it finally arrived, on Black Friday no-less, these are the items it contained:
Dual Body Roller with an array of new sensations from the rounded balls and the cool and firm steel
Sensual Massage Oil that provides a warming sensation and is caramel and sea salt flavored in case I wanted to add any kisses or licks during the Scene
Massage Stones that can be used cold straight from the fridge or warm after heating with warm water or a crockpot
I was provided with tracking information for the box and was given texts that my box would be arriving soon and when it was delivered.
Even though we now had the tools, Arya wasn’t finished guiding us through the process. My next text offered ways to prepare for the Scene, which included an Arya Spotify Playlist set to the mood, all the materials I would need like the items in the box and how to use them, but also other household items we would need (think pillows or cushion, towels, and crock-pot for heating the stones).
“Treat Your Partner was created to deepen the bond between you and your partner and encourage you to communicate your needs and wants.”
After a few days post-receiving Arya’s massage box, Arya texted me a final (for this Scene) time with ways to talk through the experience and advice to handle harder conversations about wants and needs. For previous Arya subscribers, this post also included suggestions to Amp Up this experience with tools and products from previous boxes.
Major Pros and Minor Cons of Arya
The best thing by far about Arya is how integrated your partner is in the journey. Many self-help apps are just that: focused on the self. Instead of acting as a middle-man between your partner and what the app tells you, the app talks to your partner for you and asks them the same questions it asked you, in the beginning, to gather their own Erotic Persona to further curate a wholly unique experience for you and your partner.
As a representative of SHA and Respark, I was delighted to see the constant encouragement and celebration of communication and engagement with your partner. Again, this is not a one-sided journey, but very much something you embark on with your partner. Fortunately, the journey is not a dark one as Arya provides consistent advice on how to engage or communicate with your partner. It is easy to say “Now go talk to your partner about the experience” without offering any form of How. Arya provides you with the How.
Of course, I am in awe of the beautiful objects I received in the subscription box. Everything is full-size and aesthetically pleasing–the weight of the stones in one’s hand or on the spine is delicious. The mailed box itself was small and sleek with little and all recyclable packaging which I appreciated immensely.
There were a few parts of Arya that fell flat, but I can see all of these being improved upon as the app/product grows. The first was that my partner was never able to open the links that he was sent. I’m not sure if that was a Verizon or WiFi issue on my end, or if it was just because the process was quite new (or that I was on a different track since I was pushed through so I could write this review). That wasn’t the biggest of deals for us, as I communicated and showed him everything I received, but with a huge driver of this subscription is using it with your partner and not having a one-sided adventure, I hope this gets sorted out in the future. Additionally, because the process is still new, there is no actual app to download onto your phone or a website or account to log into for additional details or help. Luckily, I was already in contact with an Arya representative and was able to get some of my questions answered through that.
My last note is one I’m sure we all have, at some point, confronted: Lack of time. How in the Holiday Season would I fit in a full massage and discussion about it? But that’s the challenge, isn’t it, to make the time for you, your partner, and your love. Also, I didn’t realize I had to actively respond or confirm certain things online–when I didn’t follow the links, not only would I get nudged, my box was delayed because it thought I was “behind” in the Scene, when really I just hadn’t confirmed to go through the next step. This was definitely a fault on my end, but still worth noting for those fellow ghosters like myself!
How SHA Students, Alum, and Sex Therapists or Educators Could Use Arya
I believe first and foremost all couples can benefit from special moments, set up exclusively for them and their pleasure, and time to celebrate and/or continue to cultivate their love. I went into Arya thinking there wasn’t much else I needed to learn or discuss with my partner of 8+ years, but, as I could have surmised, this wasn’t true! We laughed our way through the massage I gave him, and afterward, he returned the favor. So anyone, SHA student or therapist or otherwise, could use and find joy in Arya.
Specifically for therapists, coaches, and counselors, however, I see Arya as a tool one can present to hesitant clients. Because it is different from other couples-focused apps, thanks to the completely unique Erotic Persona and two-way integration with you and your partner, it could be easier to convince clients to give it a try rather than just saying to download yet another app. Yes, Arya does start with one partner initiating the journey, but Arya quickly considers and includes the partner in this exploration. Talking about one’s sex life, even with a trusted therapist, can be awkward, so Arya provides the same type of guidance (encouragement and celebratory communication) a therapist might, while allowing it to happen in the private sphere, at your own pace. Specifically for sexual educators, I see Arya as providing expansive and evolving examples of what deep communication looks like as well as ways to invite more intimacy, play, and growth into one’s sexual journey.
If you’re interested in trying Arya, SHA definitely recommends that you do! The first 30 readers who sign up here will receive a free Arya Scene complete with a curated box of products and expertly guided activities.
Arya is about play. It is not an advice app or one here to guide healing. It is inspiration, expertly matched to your and your partner’s interests and levels of sensuality. Arya’s concierge service invites partners to try new things together and communicate their desires, rather than one suggesting a new activity with fear of rejection. Arya is calling for you to have a new, hotter, better experience with your partner, one that focuses on communication, discussion, and, of course, pleasure.
Review by Shelby Lueders