Sometimes when I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep, I feel barely human, and I’m sure you’ve all been there. While you might notice obvious signs that you’re not getting enough quality sleep, such as difficulty concentrating, it’s all too easy to overlook how it impacts other areas of your life. Yes, I’m talking about your sex life! The connection between sleep and sex has been studied multiple times, indicating the importance of a good night’s sleep to essential to healthy sexual functioning. Of course, knowing this won’t make you a perfect sleeper, but when you improve your sleep hygiene, you will likely see benefits in and beyond your sex life.
The Science of Sex and Sleep
One study found that sleeping an extra hour per night correlated with a 14% increase in sexual activity and a libido boost the next day for female participants. If a single hour can make that much difference, imagine what chronic sleep deprivation can do to your sex life. It’s bad enough to find yourself without any desire to have sex. If you do have sex, decreased arousal might mean it doesn’t feel as good or it’s difficult to have an orgasm, which is understandably frustrating and might further lower your interest in sex. Perhaps surprisingly, a lack of sleep or poor quality sleep can sometimes correspond with increased arousal. But I wouldn’t count on poor sleep making my sex life better.
For those who experience poor sleep due to obstructive sleep apnea, it may be difficult to become physically aroused. Studies have found a correlation between sleep apnea and erectile dysfunction and female sexual dysfunction. Treating sleep apnea with a CPAP machine can improve sexual functioning, however.
Even if a lack of sleep didn’t directly impact your sexual functioning, it could directly impact sexual functioning through its impact on mood and heart health, among other concerns. We’ve all had sleepless nights that led to days where it seemed impossible to concentrate or think clearly. Who’s in the mood for sex when their thoughts are fuzzy and frustrating? Plus, lack of sleep corresponds to weight gain, and poor body image doesn’t do you any favors sexually. When you add in that not getting enough sleep might increase conflict with your partner, your sex life could really suffer from one or both of you not getting enough ZZZs.
What You Can Do About It
Fortunately, you don’t have to lie back in resignation. You can take steps to get a better night’s sleep. Good sleep habits, or sleep hygiene, include:
Having consistent sleep and wake hours
Developing a bedtime routine that helps you wind down
Ensuring your bedroom is cool and dark
Removing electronics from your sleeping space and
Daily exercise–but not immediately before bed
Exposure to natural light
Eliminating sleep disturbances from children or pets
Avoiding afternoon naps
Abstaining from large meals, caffeine, and alcohol up to several hours before bedtime
For some people, sleep suffers because of their responsibilities. If this speask to you, find ways to take things off your plate. Quality sleep is more important than a spotless home. Similarly, you might want to reconsider shift work, which can wreak havoc on your body in multiple ways, so its impact on sexual function is just one concern.
If you have good sleep hygiene but struggle to get enough quality sleep, perhaps because of insomnia, consider talking to your doctor. You might have sleep apnea or benefit from medication. And if you’re like me and have insomnia related to anxiety, therapy might be an essential part of sleeping better and, as a result, improving your sex life. In addition, learning relaxation and mindfulness practices can help you fall asleep more easily in the moment and contribute to your mental health in the long run.
Getting better sleep can be fun! Many people nod off instantly after either solo or partnered sex, thanks to a release of calming hormones such as oxytocin during arousal and orgasm. Sex or masturbation can be a great stress reliever, partly due to the physical release of tension in your body (although the effect might be more drastic during partnered sex). If you’ve noticed how much better you sleep after a romp in the sack, you didn’t imagine it.
Remember that sex doesn’t have to be a bedtime activity. Sleepy morning sex can be a great way to wake up and boost your mood for the entire day. Morning sex might also better fit into your schedule than nighttime sex.
When you consider all these factors, you can see how quality sleep can benefit your sex life. But it doesn’t stop there because sex can also improve your sleep, leading to a pretty alluring cycle. After all, who doesn’t enjoy good sleep or great sex?
Of course, sleep it’s the only factor that can help or harm your sex life, including desire, arousal, and pleasure, but if you recognize that your sleep hygiene is lacking, it’s time to consider how it might impact multiple areas of your life.
By Nicole Martinez