Passion isn’t linear; it grows, changes, and evolves over time. What satisfies a couple’s sexual and romantic needs one day won’t necessarily satisfy them the next. While that can be difficult to keep up with at times, it’s also what makes relationships interesting and dynamic.
The pursuit of spicing up your sex life is a worthwhile but ongoing process that requires time, attention, and input from both sides. With a bit of patience, curiosity, and communication, any consenting couple can enjoy an active sex life that’s satisfying, exciting, and stimulating, both physically and emotionally.
So, how do couples craving a more dimensional sex life start introducing more variety into their routine?
THE CASE FOR HEALTHY EXPERIMENTATION
There are plenty of scientifically-backed reasons to keep your relationship fresh with a varied sexual routine. Healthy experimentation (and by that, we mean consensual and enthusiastic mutual explorations) can improve communication and intimacy between partners, reduce stress, and improve the confidence and self-esteem of everyone involved.
Furthermore, spicing up your sex life is fun!
If you’ve been with your partner for a long time, your sexual routine can start to feel dissatisfying—and, in some cases, even a little bit boring. But while sexual lulls are completely normal in romantic relationships, they needn’t be the standard for your bedroom dynamic.
Healthy sexual experimentation can bring a sense of freshness, excitement, and joy back into your sex life and reconnect you to your partner on a deeper level. If that’s not an incentive to try something new, we don’t know what is!
Use these ideas to spice up your sex life and keep that spark alive, regardless of how long you’ve been together.
SHARE YOUR FANTASIES
One of the first things you can do is to sit down and openly, unashamedly talk about what kind of “spice” you’d like to add to your sex life.
From dom and sub-role-play to trying new positions or experimenting with different toys, we all have desires and fantasies that we’d love to live out. By creating a space of acceptance, love, and open-mindedness, you might discover things about each other you never knew before.
This is also a good time to discuss boundaries. Talk about what kind of experimentation you’re open to, what you don’t feel comfortable with, and why. Understanding your partner’s deal breakers and trigger points is crucial for a happy sex life.
THINK BEYOND THE BEDROOM
If you’ve been feeling as though your sex life has gotten a little monotonous, you may need an environmental refresh.
The physical space where you share sexual experiences with a partner plays a surprisingly large role in the level of excitement or depth that you experience together. Try moving beyond your default space, whether that’s the bedroom, your living room, or otherwise, in pursuit of a fresh perspective.
You can also broaden your horizons and engage your senses even further by introducing temperature play, having sex in water (just don’t forget the lube!), or even getting intimate outdoors.
KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON
This might sound counter-intuitive, but keeping your clothes on while having sex with your partner can be surprisingly steamy. Naturally, you don’t need to keep all of them on, but retaining a pair of stockings, a skirt, or a sexy shirt can give your trysts a hot “quickie” vibe that some couples are really into.
You can lean into this concept further by intentionally buying outfits (maybe even for each other?) that you find empowering and sexy to wear.
The garments we wear can play a huge role in determining how confident or sex we feel. By investing in some quality clothes or lingerie, you can instantly elevate your regular rendezvous from average to arousing.
MASTURBATE TOGETHER
In the right setting and with the right person, masturbating together can be a beautiful and highly stimulating sexual activity for consenting couples to share.
When most people think of masturbating, they think of the personal intimacy that comes with it, which, don’t get us wrong, is still a wonderful thing that should be celebrated in its own right. But in reality, there are no real rules about how and when masturbation should occur, and alongside your partner is an experience that many couples derive a lot of pleasure and intimacy from. It’s also a great learning experience as you get to see how your partner really enjoys being touched.
EXPERIMENT WITH SEX TOYS
We’re lucky enough to live in a day and age where sex toys are not only widely available, but they also come in as many shapes, sizes, and styles as you can think of. Plus, there are toys for all genders, and some are even designed for couples to use together at the same time.
Experimenting with different sex toys is a great way to introduce more spice and excitement into your relationship. Many of them are harbingers of deep pleasure, and when used by you and your partner, can bring you closer on an emotional as well as physical level.
From multi-function vibrators to suction devices to dildos and everything in between, there’s bound to be a toy that gets you both going.
EXPLORE NEW POSITIONS & TYPES OF SEX
As the Kama Sutra shows us, there are more than just a few positions and types of sex! From missionary position to reverse cowgirl and oral to anal sex, there’s a whole lot to try out.
Talk about which positions you want to try and if there are other types of sex you want to experiment with. Discovering new ways your bodies can fit together is not only deeply pleasurable but also a great way to bond. And if they don’t work out, you can always have a good laugh together.
KEEP YOUR SEX LIFE EXCITING
A healthy sex life is foundational to most functional adult relationships. Feeling like your emotional as well as physical needs are being met helps people derive more pleasure from their bond and reinforces a sense of deep trust and reciprocal love.
By talking to your partner about opening yourselves up to new sexual experiences and creating a space that allows for judgment-free experimentation, you can enjoy a happier and more pleasurable life together.
About the Author
Angelica Hoover is a writer and editor who expertly blends her passion for clean living, relationships, and self-care to create captivating content. Whether she's exploring the great outdoors or whipping up delicious plant-based meals, Angelica is always in pursuit of inspiration to infuse into her compelling stories around health, family, and lifestyle.