In the simplest terms, pet play is role-playing as an animal. There are no rules or limits as to what animal can be played out, though puppies and kittens are the most discussed and hence deemed to be the most common—you can be whatever you desire! This can extend to ducks, foxes, and even fantasy creatures. This article aims to explore the psychology behind pet play, understanding why people enjoy it; and will then go on to discuss ways that you can incorporate it into your life if that is something you are interested in.
Pet play is most commonly seen in the BDSM community, more specifically in a Dominant/submissive relationship. Typically, the Dominant takes on the role of the owner (or trainer in other circumstances) and the submissive takes on the role of the pet, taking on animal-like characteristics. Pet play can additionally happen in sexual and non-sexual ways. Some people may find that being a pony after a tough day can help them to distress, for others pet play allows them to have the opportunity to be playful and carefree in a way they normally can’t. Others may prefer pet play in a different circumstance. In a sexual context, pet play can allow the opportunity for bondage and humiliation. Examples of this include being walked on a leash, shut in a cage, having to eat out of a bowl on the floor, and urinating outside. If sex is to be part of the dynamic, it is important to state whether it is to be continued in a non-human or human form. Regardless of whether you are looking for a sexual or non-sexual dynamic, communication is imperative. Don’t assume that your partner knows what you are looking for, or understands how much pet play means to you, but have discussions around this. Work out what kind of animal you will be. Do you want to be a calm and obedient dog, or a mischievous fox? Each individual and relationship dynamic will have their own interpretation of pet play, as well as their own limits and boundaries as to how far they are willing to dive into pet play. One may be willing to treat their partner as cow, but is not comfortable incorporating sex into the scene.
A 2019 study on the psychology of puppy play discovered that there seems to be five main reasons as to why someone may want to participate in puppy play: (1) sexual pleasure; (2) relaxation, therapy, and escape from self; (3) adult play and vibrant physicality; (4) extending and expressing selfhood; and (5) relationships and community. Although this study primarily focused on puppy play, I see these reasons extending to other types of animal roleplay. One overarching theme that is seen in all of these articles and websites about pet play is the idea of obedience, and more importantly, trust. Becoming the animal and entering their “headspace” puts oneself in a vulnerable position, hence the importance of the previously mentioned discussion of boundaries. Using collars or animal props such as an anally inserted tail also requires trust and communication. When carried out correctly and in a safe manner, pet play can be incredibly rewarding for both the animal and the owner.
A common, non-sexual way to participate in pet play is through “”training” your pet. This method can be seen across all animal role-play situations. You may want to train your rabbit to sleep in a crate or to learn and respond to their name. Those who become a wild animal like a fox or wolf, may seek pleasure from being tamed, having their owner gain their trust, and eventually collar (another term for own) them. Training may also incorporate the use of treats, or you may simply want to use your partner’s favourite food, others may want to have something more similar to actual pet food. Examples of this can include: shredded chicken in gravy (cats), braised beef (dog), granola (rodent), shredded wheat (horses) or cereal as a form of “‘kibble.’”
Another nonsexual method of pet play is grooming. Grooming can range from having the owner bathe the pet (this could be very wet and messy depending on the nature of the animal) or having their ‘“fur’” brushed. And let’s be honest, who doesn’t like having their hair played with? Note that grooming also presents an opportunity for the aforementioned training, teaching the animal to stay still or not to shake the shampoo off.
Others may find that using props and costumes help them to enter the proper headspace far easier than being in human clothing. Some may prefer to simply wear the ears of their chosen animal, in which Etsy has a huge range of ears made from small businesses. Still others may need something more, with a commonly seen example being the puppy mask and harness. This once again comes down to what you are comfortable with and what you can afford. Remember that there is nothing wrong with not feeling comfortable wearing animal gear, it all comes down to your preference and personal boundaries.
There really are no strict rules or guidelines for participating in pet play, though as with all relationships, consent and forming boundaries is the most important element to discuss before participating in any form of kink. Take time to enjoy working out what kind of animal you want to be, and further the behaviour of said animal. Have fun and let loose of your wild side! If you’re interested in learning more about the world of kink, check out SHA’s Kink-Informed Certificate program taught by the Supernova of Kink herself, Midori.
By Steph McCartney