The sex education I received in junior and high school was absolutely shocking. At the time it was a funny class where we could say “penis” or “vagina” without being told off, but on reflection, I don’t recall actually learning anything helpful to myself or others. This article will delve into my childhood memories of the sex ‘education’ I received, and take a look at the updated government curriculum to see if sex education in England has changed for the better.
My first sex education lesson was at the end of my time in primary school (or as it’s considered in the States, junior high school) when I was 11 years old and knew absolutely nothing about my body or sexual health. Now, ten years later, I will admit that my memories of these classes are no longer crystal clear, but the parts I do remember were either scare tactics or non-informative. Being taught separately from the boys, we were told:
You’ll get a period at some point (but not informed what a period was)
You’ll go through puberty which includes growing pubic hair and developing breasts
You have a vagina (no mention of vulvas)
You will have a semi-horrifying and definitely painful pregnancy and labor, as shown by the too-long video of a woman giving birth – my favorite part of sex education
Come a few years later when I was in secondary school (or high school) and around 13 years old, we received our second load of sex education. This time we were taught:
How to put on a condom (using a condom demonstrator)
STDs by performing our own research and creating a presentation ourselves
How to use menstruation products by being tossed a box with pads and tampons in them and simply told to read the leaflet inside
It’s safe to say that I was incredibly confused about sex and my body. I didn’t know what vaginal discharge was until I was 15 (and assumed something was wrong with me until that point) and didn’t know the difference between vagina and vulva until I was nearly 20. In the education, I received there was no mention of consent, what a healthy relationship looks like, accurate descriptions of anatomy, or how to stay safe online. Furthermore, this education was not inclusive in the slightest with very little mention of non-heretonormative relationships or gender outside the binary.
What is it like now?
Since September 2020, “relationships education has been compulsory for all pupils receiving primary education and relationship and sex education (RSE) for all pupils receiving secondary education.” Parents do still have the right to request that their child be withdrawn from some or all of the sex education delivered as part of statutory RSE, but are unable to have their child removed from sex education in science classes (e.g. reproductive properties of plants).
Primary School
Relationship education at this age is encouraged to be looked at as “building blocks” with the primary focus being on building positive relationships. Here pupils are taught about respect, the importance of honesty, permission seeking and giving, and the concept of personal privacy. These conversations about personal space, and differences between appropriate and inappropriate physical contact, act as a forerunner for conversations on consent. Students are now also taught about safe relationships in online environments. They are informed on rules and principles for keeping safe online and how to report any issues they run into.
Sex education is not compulsory for students of this age which is why the focus at this age is on relationship education. The national curriculum for science also includes subject content in related areas, such as the main external body parts, the human body (and puberty) as well as reproduction in some plants and animals. The government explains that it is down to the individual schools to determine whether they need to cover any additional content on sex education in order to meet the needs of their pupils.
Secondary School
Sex and relationship education at this age still focuses on developing healthy and nurturing relationships of all kinds but takes a further look at intimate relationships. Pupils are taught about the facts and laws about sex, sexuality, sexual health, and gender identity which equips them to “make decisions for themselves about how to live their own lives, whilst respecting the rights of others.” There are also detailed discussions about consent, grooming, sexual exploitation, sexual assault, rape, domestic abuse, and female genital mutilation. Conversations about grooming, exploitation, and abuse are discussed in online environments and social media. Discussions around the law and social media should also include discussing sexting, sharing sexually explicit media and pornography consumption.
Students are also taught about sexual health in detail, including:
Reproductive health and fertility
Managing sexual pressure
Full range of contraceptive choices
Facts around pregnancy, including miscarriage
Choices in relation to pregnancy
Sexually transmitted infections
Use of alcohol and drugs with sexual behavior
What about LGBTQIA+ Curriculum?
Whilst there was an emphasis on the importance of teaching students about the many different forms of families, and not just focusing on the “standard” nuclear family, the same can not be said about LGBT education. The government written document only states:
“At the point at which schools consider it appropriate to teach their pupils about LGBT, they should ensure that this content is fully integrated into their programmes of study for this area of the curriculum rather than delivered as a standalone unit or lesson. Schools are free to determine how they do this, and we expect all pupils to have been taught LGBT content at a timely point as part of this area of the curriculum.”
By giving schools freedom in choosing how and when they discuss LGBT matters, instead of making it compulsory and providing materials, there is very little incentive to have comprehensive and inclusive sex and relationship education. There are loopholes that mean schools can avoid discussing particular topics with the claim that it’s “not appropriate” without any repercussions.
I was hopeful that the curriculum would have changed significantly, and in some ways it has. In my experience, there was no mention of internet safety in terms of relationships and sharing/sending photos—something that I and many others would have benefited from learning about—so I am relieved there are conversations around it now. It is disappointing, but not surprising, to find a lack of focus or encouragement around LGBT sex and relationship education, especially when 3.1% of the UK population aged 16 years and over identified as lesbian, gay, or bisexual in 2020. It is clear that there is still a long way to go until I can confidently say that England gives comprehensive and inclusive sex education.
If you’d like to learn more about sex and sexuality-related laws and spaces around the world, join the Sexual Health Alliance at their next sexceptional weekend, Sex Around the World, with sexuality and travel experts.
Written by Stephanie McCartney.