“SHA is continuously broadening my understanding and capacity to learn more about sex positivity and affirming care for all ages and all diverse sexualities. ”
This past weekend, I had the opportunity to attend another Sexceptional Weekend with SHA as a sexuality counselor certification student! A two-day online conference discussing porn literacy, sex work, and decolonization of sex with sexuality nerds and experts–I mean, if this is not my fairytale set-up, I don’t know what is!
WHAT IS PORN LITERACY AND WHY LEARN ABOUT IT?
“For any healthcare provider, it’s important to be informed about the ways to redirect individuals of all ages into healthier and literate porn consumption in an age-appropriate manner. ”
The first topic was introduced by Jet-Setting Jasmine and Jessica Nater– real icons. They discussed how advocating for porn literacy to be a part of comprehensive sex education programs is crucial to how individuals grow up interacting with porn. Most of us learned about sex and masturbation through porn–that is the reality–and it’s important to address that by providing resources and education on interactions with porn. The speakers further explained how the mainstream ideas of porn are white cis-heretonormative and are penis-centered. Pleasure isn’t the driving force of the thrusts you see on screen! Moreover, porn displays sex as a performance rather than an experience–which is related to performance anxiety including ejaculation dysfunctions in men and arousal difficulties in women.
These harmful prevailing ideas of what sex looks like, feels like, why even engage in it, and who gets to engage in it leave a lot of damaging and unethical understandings of sexuality for young people. She also shared her lived experience with racism as an adult film entertainer on sets that were predominantly white, which provided a wider lens into the background workings of making unethical adult films. As a counselor student, these were incredible points to consider and advocate for when discussing a client's own feelings and experiences with porn.
More so, for any healthcare provider, it’s important to be informed about the ways to redirect individuals of all ages into healthier and literate porn consumption in an age-appropriate manner. Jessica Nater further discussed ways we can help parents have healthy communications with young kids about porn. We live in a digital world today, where almost every kid has a screen in front of them. Thus, it is essential now more than ever to open the room for conversations around porn literacy with your kids!
NORMALIZING DIVERSE DESIRES
Moving ahead, Jet-setting Jasmine, Dr. Nicole Crawford, Dr. Tanya Bass, and Kiana Cummings, presented their research project data on unveiling desires. Their project showed the top ten kinks that people engage in based on acceptance–from “biting” to “doctor/nurse fetish”. This opened the floor for discussing the concepts of normal and abnormal in the kink community. There are several cultural, historical and individual trends that shape the nature of what kink gets the popularity vote and becomes more normalized in the society. Additionally, the researchers noticed a more “yes” trend toward kink engagement and this further brings up the evolving sexuality constructs in society. Individuals are choosing to explore more in their sexual experiences and that is creating positive cultural shifts in kink and BDSM visibility.
Learning about DECOLONIZATION OF SEX in SHA’s Sexuality Counselor Certification Program
“Being a social work student, I incredibly appreciated this discussion as it is heavily missing from my MSW course load.”
Not to play favorites, but King Noire’s talk on the history of colonization and how it relates to the constructs of sexuality and race today filled up my notebook with notes! Being a social work student, I incredibly appreciated this discussion as it is heavily missing from my MSW course load. Racial fetishization is a real issue in our society that doesn’t get talked about enough. For instance, the ideas of promiscuity are attached more to Black women than any of their counterparts. Moreover, thinking of women, especially black women as sexual objects, strips away their humanity–sustaining the idea of oppression and hyper-sexualization. This is perpetuated not just in porn but all kinds of media including mainstream movies and music videos. King Noire further breaks down the ways in which white supremacy and oppression have molded sexual narratives for marginalized communities and asks, “Who were we sexually before colonization?”
EMPATHETIC COMMUNICATION WITH SEX WORKERS
Tiana North and Kat Pierce took us on a tour of their Sex Work Survival Guide mission–providing free access to fundamental information to the sex work community. They kicked off the discussion with some basic definitions of sex work, trauma-informed consent, and whorearchy. It was fascinating to learn about the different types of sex work too as the stigma within our society makes it out to be an unvaried profession.
A great example of this is in Hollywood movies where sex workers are often only portrayed as survival or street-based workers. Additionally, the guide consisted of harm reduction principles to interact with/within the sex work community–centering on compassionate communication. I appreciated that they brought in the concept of intersectionality within the sex work and how diverse identities are impacted differently within the community. Minimizing harm through non-judgment and empathy, and acknowledging the reality of shame and stigma that surrounds the community can go a long way to affirm individuals who engage in sex work.
LEGAL PERSPECTIVES AND FAMILY SUPPORT IN THE SEX WORK COMMUNITY
On the second day, Ria Chattergoon shared her thoughts and experiences with the legalities and decriminalization of sex work and how sex workers have been historically discriminated against, especially for housing and healthcare. I also loved how she emphasized the value of creating support through building networks and connections with other sex-positive lawyers, therapists, and educators within the community to provide appropriate referrals.
After learning about the legal aspect, we also heard from Mani and Star who founded the daughters of porn entertainers aka D.O.P.E. I was inspired by their level of openness and dedication to foster sex-positive communities. The core values of healthy mindset development, body awareness, and thriving parent-child relationships were highlighted throughout their discussion. It was such a positive experience to sit there and listen to them talk about the incredible work they’re doing to help other children of porn entertainers. Community building can make all the difference in the world!
LEARNING ABOUT SURROGATE PARTNERS in SHA’s Sexuality Counselor Certification Program
“To be completely transparent, I didn’t even know such a profession existed let alone the work happens in a therapeutic setting. It was truly eye-opening!”
Brian Gibney shared his experiences being a surrogate partner and how that entails helping people through intimate means including physical touch and emotional support. Like any other professional and therapeutic relationship, the surrogate partnership builds through consistent consent and valuing human relationships and pleasure. He added how surrogate partners work with therapists to assist clients with their sexual/intimacy challenges. To be completely transparent, I didn't even know such a profession existed let alone the work happens in a therapeutic setting. It was truly eye-opening! As a future sexuality counselor and therapist, I am already determined to connect with surrogate partners and build a community around my practice that provides sex-positive care.
sex positivity and affirming care for all
It was a lot of fundamental information packed into a supportive weekend! SHA is continuously broadening my understanding and capacity to learn more about sex positivity and affirming care for all ages and all diverse sexualities. If you want to join in the fun and education, check out the SHA Certification Quiz to see what fits your interests! Check out more SHA events and for any questions about the certification programs reach out to shacertifications@gmail.com.