Inclusive language is a cornerstone of sex-positivity. Whether it’s learning new terms to open the mind or it’s taking back words and phrases, using them to shape the conversation our way, language is power. In the world of sex and sexuality, inclusive language is paramount. Language substantiates seemingly indescribable feelings, giving words to our inner emotions. To patients and clients, students and friends, finally finding the word, the word that feels right to describe themself as, is empowering! Sex positivity and education awareness start with inclusive, forever-evolving language.
HER, a global LGBTQ+ dating app, agrees with the importance of sex-positive and inclusive language. It may seem that the digital dating world is oversaturated enough already, but HER does things differently.
HER is one of the world’s largest dating apps for Lesbian, Queer, & Bi women and folks. Created for queer people by queer people, HER is a “welcoming and safe community where you can joining smaller community group chats, find single queer women in your area, make friends, go on a date, or just have fun.” HER additionally acts as a LGBTQ+ hub featuring global news and content pertaining to LGBTQ+ peoples, and also local HER-sponsored events.
With 7 million users worldwide, HER’s focus has always been on community and connections. Other lesbian dating apps gear more towards casual hookups, leading to “swipe exhaustion.” HER changes this. All the core features of the app are free so adding friends, viewing profiles and events, starting chats, and joining communities is free. There is a paid subscription with added features like an ad-free experience, filter by sexuality, use the app in incognito mode, and see who’s online in real-time. Slightly disappointingly, in order to view who has “liked” you, you have to have a paid subscription.
Regardless, you’re getting so much more with HER than with other dating apps. HER “gives you the chance to connect with the wider LGBTQ+ community through group chats, events, news, and content. It’s a home and a safe space where individuals who believe in LGBTQ+ empowerment and equality can come together to talk and share their experiences with people who understand.”
HER is committed to creative sex-positive language and spreading inclusivity. An example of how they enact this change is through their blog and, specifically, their Original Lesbian Slang Glossary, a quick but deeply insightful and handy list of (some) LGBTQ+ slang. The glossary specializes in the different types of lesbians. Some of these terms lean more humorous than others like “Baby Dyke” which is “a lesbian who is fresh out of the closet. They’re wild, (usually) young, and free—but too scared to have sex rn.” Or, my personal favorite, “Skincare Lesbian” which is “a high femme” where “taking care of themselves is their full-time job.”
Other terms, like “Two-Spirit,” I had not yet heard of, but find an incredibly beautiful identity. Two-Spirit refers to “a person who identifies as having both a masculine and a feminine spirit.” While obvious now, I also had not known the acronym AFAB, or Assigned Female At Birth, certainly a helpful acronym to be familiar with.
HER may be another dating app, but there will always be room for disrupters, especially in the world of sex education. Their Original Lesbian Slang Glossary promotes the take-back of terms previously used for hate and violence while showing us that in order to be sex-positive, we must keep our language inclusive and open. HER isn’t just about dating; it’s about your local LGBTQ+ community and ways to get involved. It’s about empowerment in the community both locally and globally. If you happen to find love, that’s just an added bonus.
By Shelby Lueders