It’s not necessarily a question of belief: crystals are powerful, sacred tools that have been utilized for millions of years. They are witnesses to the world’s changes. From protection in battle to providing safe passage to the afterlife, almost every civilization since the beginning of time has learned to harness the energy from crystals. In a modern context, crystals are necessary for our 2021 habits. Anything with a screen uses liquid crystals to display images. Solar panels and computer chips are created from Silicon which comes from Quartz. Whenever you store something on a computer chip, you are using a Quartz crystal.
So how does one work with crystals? In short, crystals emit energy at a constant frequency that we can turn our own energies to, that we can tap into. The crystal itself is a conduit for the energy between you and the rock. When working with any crystal, the stone becomes “a physical, tangible way for you to feel, connect, and benefit from those vibrations” according to Heather Askinosie, a leading crystal influencer. From here, one can set an intention with that crystal—what do I want this crystal to do for me?—and then every time you see, touch, think about the crystal, you are reminded of your intention. You are reconnected to the vibrations and energy you called upon before.
This cyclical openness of crystals mimics that of sex-positivity. Both are about exploring and re-exploring again. Both acknowledge that change happens, that we are ever-evolving beings always learning about ourselves. Both work towards empowerment, betterment, and enlightenment. Considering this, you can see the potential in combining the sexual realm with the crystal realm. At the center of this movement is Vanessa Cuccia, founder of Chakrubs, The Original Crystal Sex Toy Company.
Chakrubs’ mission is simple: Bring sacredness to your playtime. Chakrubs take working with crystals to a higher level. They encourage us to connect to the energy a crystal naturally carries but on a deeper plane since you’re literally internalizing these properties. Each item Chakrubs sells is a tool-turned-toy or, perhaps, a toy-turned-tool, ready for self-exploration and growth. On their site, you’ll find familiar shapes like straight or curved wands or yoni eggs made entirely out of crystals like Amethyst, Rose Quartz, or Obsidian. Additionally, they have other kink-related items like plugs and gags. At the heart of Chakrubs is the goal of self-discovery. Cuccia says:
“Chakrubs urge you to feel deeply, passionately, subtly. Light up our chakras, and create an intentional practice that not only gets you off but turns you on in a way in which you will remain turned on and awakened with a renewed sense of self-awareness and wisdom.”
Not every crystal needs to function as both a tool and a toy. Crystals come in many shapes and sizes and, as you’re on your crystal journey, some shapes, colors, sizes will speak more to you than others. When you have a specimen that feels right to you, your options on “working” with it are endless: carry it in your pocket or bag, meditate with it, hide it under your pillow, put it on display, tune it to the moon, cleanse it, or even, as Cuccia encourages, masturbate with it.
Below are two lists of crystals, those for beginners and those for intermediates, with benefits and uses that apply to sex acts and sexuality. Remember, though, that crystals are extremely subjective and work differently for each person. Amethyst, while one of the most popular and recognizable crystals, might not connect to you at all. The goal is self-discovery. The goal is to deepen your intimacy with yourself so you can deepen it with others. Enjoy the ride.
Beginner Crystals:
AMETHYST // CLEAR YOUR MIND
There is no better crystal for beginners than Amethyst. Because it works on all planes—spiritual, physical, and emotional—it promotes restoration, peace, and balance in totality. It is a useful tool for clarity of mind, allowing you to become fully present in a moment. It guides you through identifying and releasing negative behaviors. With its gentle aura, amethyst simultaneously fills the person with contentment, while softly working through grief and personal loss. It can calm or stimulate the mind and body, allowing it to hold many intentions.
Use For: pain (physical, emotional, psychological), decision-making, focus
ROSE QUARTZ // LOVE YOURSELF
As we know from the countless professionals that work for and have frequented the Sexual Health Alliance, the first step in boosting your sex life is to know—and love—yourself. Rose Quartz can help you with this. It is attributed to all forms of love, especially romantic love, but I consider it a crystal of self-love. This crystal emits strong vibrations of love which can fill you with compassion, warmth, and tenderness, all emotions you can and should channel towards yourself. Rose Quartz can help unguard your heart, opening it to love again. To do this, it guides you through addressing why your heart is guarded in the first place. This crystal teaches you the invaluable lesson of when you send more love out, you receive more love back.
Use For: inducing love, sexual imbalances, heart, and circulatory system, fertility
SMOKEY QUARTZ // GET GROUNDED
Even once we learn to treat ourselves with tenderness, even when we’ve found a way to relax, blocks still happen. Stress still creeps into our emotional lives. This is where Smokey Quartz comes in. This crystal is one of intense grounding; it works on clearing your body’s energy field—translation: It works to release stress and tension from the day. This crystal helps you let go of that which no longer serves you. Put the past in the past, it doesn’t belong in your bed. Smokey Quartz encourages communication while easing the influence of fear-based narratives you tell yourself. Furthermore, it relieves unhealthy pressure to perform, to fit in, to do while lowering expectations you may have placed on yourself.
Use For: humility, communication, libido, pain relief
Intermediate Crystals:
SUNSTONE // ADD HEAT
Sunstone is a vibrant orange/red stone. According to Native American legend, a noble warrior was wounded with an arrow and his blood dripped onto the stone, infusing it with his warrior spirit. Its purpose in the bedroom is similar. Simply, Sunstone can help you spice up your sex life. It radiates sexual energy; it builds confidence with enthusiasm and drive. Sunstone is loaded with creative power, which encourages you to seek out new things. In doing so, it also helps spark conversations on sex that might need to happen. Overall, this stone reminds us that sexual intimacy is meant to be enjoyed. It reminds us to have fun, to play.
Use For: sexual arousal, self-empowerment, vitality, self-healing
RHODOCHROSITE // HEAL TRAUMA
Rhodochrosite (row-doe-crow-site) is often left off lists on crystals and sex, most likely due to its serious nature. Rhodochrosite is a healer of sexual abuse. When working with this crystal, you will learn to assimilate painful feelings without shutting down. It guides you to face the truth—about yourself and others—without excuses or evasion, but with loving awareness. Ultimately, it encourages a positive attitude and the spontaneous expression of feelings, including passionate and erotic urges.
Use For: emotional release, self-worth, overcoming chronic self-blame, depression, and sexual organs.
SHIVA LINGAM // EXPLORE OPPOSITIONS
Naturally, crystals are unisex. While they might inherently lean more masculine or feminine, there are no “men’s crystals” just as there are no “women’s crystals.” That being said, the energies are quite different and I appreciate a crystal that addresses something specific. Shiva Lingam has been considered sacred for thousands of years. It is a symbol of sexuality and potent male energy. It does assist with sexual healing because it encourages the union of oppositions such as the masculine and feminine, or the body over the soul.
Use For: impotence, erectile dysfunction, infertility, menstrual cramps
By Shelby Lueders
Additional sources for you to explore:
Amarfio, Aisha. Crystals: A Guide to Using the Crystal Compass for Energy, Healing, and Reclaiming Your Power. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2019.
Askinosie, Heather. Crystal365: Crystals for Everyday Life and Your Guide to Health, Wealth, and Balance. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2019.
Cuccia, Vanessa. Crystal Healing & Sacred Pleasure. Beverly, MA: Fair Winds Press, 2018
Hall, Judy. The Encyclopedia of Crystals. Beverly, MA: Fair Winds Press, 2013.