With estimates reporting 46% of men and 16% of women in an average week intentionally viewing pornography, many seem to agree that watching porn alone can be a lot of fun and a great way to explore sexual interests and fantasies. Beyond enjoying pornography in their solo time, many people have also started to watch porn with their partner(s) to share in the fun.
Due to the prevalence of porn viewership and the increased number of couples watching porn together, many studies have been conducted looking into the impacts that watching porn can have on romantic relationships. We will look here at some of the potential negative outcomes indicated by this research—but don’t worry, we will also explore why these results may not be as damning as they first appear.
Negative outcomes from porn research and their limitations
There are studies that have found associations between pornography and negative effects on relationships. Some of these outcomes can include a decrease in sexual satisfaction and an increased likelihood of infidelity. While these results have been found in a few studies, it is important to consider how these conclusions were made and whether this means you actually need to avoid watching porn with your partner.
Many studies claiming adverse outcomes look into the effect of watching porn alone whilst in a romantic relationship – we instead see different results, though, when looking into porn use together. One study found that self-concealment of pornography—where one partner is watching porn alone but keeps it a secret—is what may be leading to these adverse outcomes.
It is also important to consider the participants within a study and whether their personal life experiences and beliefs will impact results. Participants in a study who have strong negative views about porn, or religious and moral beliefs tied to pornography use, are less likely to experience the satisfying results others claim and will instead focus on the potentially negative consequences of watching porn alone or with others.
Finally, literature looking into relationship impacts has also been found to be difficult to replicate. Often research on this topic fails to find a direct link between porn use and relationship well-being, and has evident disparities in their results. It is important to take the negative results with a pinch of salt and see what results have come from studies looking directly at watching pornography together with a partner and sharing that experience together.
Better Communication
Watching porn with your partner(s) can help to open up a dialogue about what you like and dislike in the bedroom. One study found an association in heterosexual couples between joint porn viewing and increased communication. By watching porn together, you can prompt conversations about fantasies and have more open sexual communication. Partners who view pornography together report that it is easier to discuss sexual desires and fantasies as it makes these conversations feel less intimidating.
Increased Feelings of Closeness
Having your partner(s) join in on something private can build intimacy, as relationship quality is positively correlated with partners sharing their porn viewing. It can give you a better understanding of your partner as you go through and decide what you are going to watch (or read or listen to), which can lead to greater feelings of connection.
Decreased Boredom/Find New Sexy Things to Try
As we know, with the prevalence of unrealistic sexual expectations created by porn, such media should be used for entertainment only and not something to measure ourselves against. With that said, pornography can be good for inspiring new ideas for sexual experiences, such as new positions and techniques. Watching with your partner and communicating what you like and dislike may spark ideas for ways to try something new in the bedroom. Even the act of watching porn together itself can be a novel and exciting thing to try if you have never tried it before.
Increased Sexual Frequency and Sexual Satisfaction
One study found that pornography use when shared with a partner was associated with increased sexual frequency. This may be due to the increased communication and intimacy cited above, making you feel excited about trying new things and feeling aroused more often. Increased sexual performance and sexual satisfaction have also been found among partners who watch pornography together.
So if you feel that including your partner(s) in your pornography viewing might be fun, have a chat with them and see if it is something they might be interested in trying. You might be surprised by what you learn about each other.
Written by Erin Ireland.
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