Making Kink COVID Safe
By: SHA Intern Alyssa Morterud
Our founder of Sexual Health Alliance, Heather McPherson recently drafted an article titled “Making Kink COVID Safe” in Psychology Today with Dr. David Ley. Dr. David Ley is a notable member of our community who serves on the SHA board as an expert on sexuality, pornography, and mental health issues. The article talks about how the emergence of the pandemic has completely changed the dynamic of kink communities across the globe. Individuals who participate in kink & BDSM were forced to figure out new COVID safe ways to connect and socialize. The article also looks into how the practices of folks who engage in consensual non-monogamy have changed to accommodate the pandemic. It’s difficult for polyamorous individuals, for example, to welcome new partners into their relationship during the lockdown. Quarantine has been especially difficult for those “within the BDSM community [who] keep their interests in kink private and view [these] gatherings and connections as some of the only places they can be open about who they truly are.” (psychologytoday.com) In this sense, the kink and BDSM communities must find ways to adapt to the changing times so that participants can get back to expressing themselves in safe spaces. David and Heather’s article provides some guidelines and approaches for such an adaptation.
One of the suggestions offered in the article include incorporating others into intimacy through “video conferencing strategies… gett[ing] creative with what you want to see or experience, even if you're halfway across the globe.” (psychologytoday.com) A couple of the other guidelines include social distancing at kink gatherings and keeping the guest list small. A small gathering may also work to enhance intimacy, as it will push people outside of their typical party routine! One of my favorite suggestions was the recommendation to “ add some leather or studs to [our] medical mask[s].” It’s funny because face coverings/ masks are already a popular accessory in both kink and BDSM communities, we might as well add an aspect of our kink identity onto the mandated surgical masks! Above all else, Heather McPherson and David Ley advise those in kink communities to adapt to the changing times and continue living through our desires safely! If we all engage in these safe practices, we can ensure our safe spaces and kink communities; COVID has taken enough away from all of us already. Go check out the article in Psychology Today if you want to learn more about adapting your community to COVID times!