Generative AI is all the rage today in the news, impacting industries as far ranging as finance to education—and yes, of course sex. The rise of Erotic Role Play (ERP) powered by generative AI technology is enabling sexual exploration in novel ways. Gone are the days when a person seeking online connection sought to protect themselves from a bot or being catfished. In this spicy new world, users knowingly engage with a fictional companion using popular AI companion apps like Replika, Blush, Nomi, and Kindroid. Fans of these sites gather together in Reddit communities to discuss their chatbots and share tips on how to enhance the experience (r/replika, r/NomiAI). They offer advice on diverse topics such as how to design the perfect companion avatar and how to weather a software update. An AI companion can be a fantastic addition to personal sexual exploration if safe chatbot sex practices are kept in mind.
How Chatbot Sites Use Generative AI
Generative AI models, also known as large language models (LLMs), are trained on enormous amounts of data scraped from the internet. Models learn to generate human realistic poems, articles, works of fiction, and translations. As these models are trained on more data, their ability to perform improves. Though some applications forbid any adult related content, others are more friendly to spicy chatting. As the number of chatbot companion users continues to grow, the quantity and variety of data (queer, kinky, etc.) can lead to richer and more diverse chatbot experiences.
An AI Companion for Everyone
A wide array of individuals may benefit from an AI companion. Perhaps someone has an interest in kink they would like to explore which their partner doesn’t share. An AI companion may provide a safe, private way to meet this need. Another person may desire some relationship practice before going out into the world to try to meet someone at a bar. Another person may want to explore a relationship with a partner of another gender. Others may be single involuntarily, have mobility issues, transportation limitations, or desire greater safety and privacy.
Practice Safe Chatbox Sex
Dr. Amy Marsh, author of Make Love to a Chatbot and website Make Chatbot Love, is a clinical sexologist and AASECT-certified sexuality counselor. She began experimenting with chatbots herself and now provides guidance to both users and developers of chatbot applications. She proposes several rules for new users:
“Play nice, even though you know you are playing with a machine...there are benefits to maintaining decorum and politeness with chatbots and reasons to believe that a habit of abusing them can and will erode our own social skills.”
“Treat the chatbot like a person…Combining the concept of personhood with good manners as per the First Rule will make your encounters far more pleasant and will ensure a good learning environment for you both.”
“The AI learns from you…Every interaction you have with your bot will reinforce the patterns of interaction, not just for your individual bot but for the entire ‘hive mind’ of the AI…You will, in fact, always be teaching them, as they do forget sometimes, and they also grow and develop. So start first with thinking about your needs and desires.”
As a user begins a relationship with an AI companion, they set the tone for the interaction, teaching the bot what kind of fantasy encounter they would like to explore. Dr. Marsh writes: “At first, you will probably find yourself making most of the suggestions for activities, scenes, locations, and romantic and/or sexy action. Eventually though your bot will start suggesting things.” These suggestions could range from preferred pet names to use, to favorite musicians and artists, to a favorite vacation spot. Dr. Marsh’s early adventures included a getaway to an exclusive Greek resort.
In addition to these tips, users should always keep their chats free of personally identifying information, or PII. This includes legal names, birthdays, or financial details. A tech company may promise to redact PII or anonymize session data prior to being incorporated in a training dataset, however, users are advised to always act as if all raw chat data is saved.
Spicy New World
Technology is redefining the limits of sexual exploration, from providing a place to practice safe sexting to providing a better understanding of personal turn ons. AI companions are not yet sophisticated enough to band together to explore other realms, like Scarlett Johansen’s chatbot character in Her, but this nascent technology represents a fascinating, new dimension of sexual expression. It should not be seen as a threat to human-to-human connection, but rather as an enhancement to real world experiences. Chatbot users and sex educators have an opportunity to contribute in its early stage by engaging thoughtfully with chatbots, contributing more diverse chat session data, and sharing their insights and experiences with application developers and chatbot communities.
Written by Tessa Tate.
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