Sexual Health Blogs

Launching Seattle Certification programs! AASECT and SHA

HOW DO I GET CERTIFIED AS A SEX THERAPIST, EDUCATOR OR COUNSELOR THROUGH AASECT IN SEATTLE?

 

THE SEXUAL HEALTH ALLIANCE (SHA) IS PROUD TO OFFER A FULL SEX THERAPY CERTIFICATION PROGRAM WITH 150+ AASECT CES*!


APPLY NOW HERE


*Includes ALL online classes + 3 in-person weekends in Seattle + Meet & Greet Parties with your cohort + Access to Online resource group and supervisor lists, "Do it for me" AASECT Application - we will fill it out with you, discussion sessions with THE experts, Welcome Swag Bag and more!

You’re joining a community of sex positive professionals. All of our in-person and online trainings are conducted by the top experts in the world. Complete all of your AASECT educational CE requirements with The Sexual Health Alliance!

Cost: $5150 (Payment plans available)

This program meets the requirements of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and is approved for AASECT CE credits. These CE credits may be applied toward AASECT certification and renewal of certification. Completion of this program does not ensure or guarantee AASECT certification. For further information please contact ce@aasect.org 

A Personal Interview with Dr. Justin Lehmiller

An Interview with Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Author of Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life


We would like to start by asking you some questions about your most recent book, Tell Me What You Want. You conducted one of the largest and most comprehensive scientific surveys of Americans’ sexual fantasies as the basis for this book. What was your most unexpected finding?

That’s a really tough question because I found so many things that were fascinating and surprising! That said, one finding that was particularly interesting to me was the way that our sexual fantasies seemed to change with age. For instance, I found that threesomes and group sex were more popular fantasies among older adults, whereas passion and romance were more popular fantasies among younger adults. A lot of people would have expected the reverse pattern. As I discuss in the book, I think what’s going on here is that our psychological needs change as we age and, as they do, our sexual fantasies evolve in ways that are designed to meet those needs. So, for example, when we’re younger and perhaps more insecure, our fantasies focus more on making us feel validated; by contrast, when we’re older and have settled into a long-term relationship, our fantasies focus more on breaking sexual routines and fulfilling unmet needs for novelty. 

How did you get more than 4,000 people to tell you about their deepest sexual fantasies?
Talking openly about our sexual fantasies is something that many of us find to be intimidating. We’re worried that other people will reject us or judge us for our desires, so rather than talking about our fantasies with our partners, we tend to keep them to ourselves. I was able to bypass a lot of this anxiety by collecting data on people’s sexual fantasies anonymously. When people know that their survey responses will stay anonymous, they become far more willing to talk about sex. The fact that so many people took my survey tells me that people really do want to talk about their fantasies—sadly, however, they just find it a lot easier to tell a stranger over the internet than their partner.   

What’s the most common thing that people are fantasizing about? 

When looking at people’s biggest fantasy of all time, the single most common sex act that emerged was having a threesome. And when I looked at whether people had ever had a fantasy about threesomes (or group sex more broadly), I found that almost everyone—male and female alike—had done so. However, I should note that BDSM was another sex fantasy that almost everyone reported having at one time or another, too. 

Did male and female responders have different desires? 

Men and women were surprisingly similar in the types of things they fantasized about. Many of the fantasies that are stereotyped as masculine (like threesomes) or feminine (like emotional fulfillment) were things that a majority of both men and women were fantasizing about. However, there were some important differences that emerged. For instance, women were more likely than men to fantasize about same-sex experiences, whereas men were more likely than women to have gender-bending fantasies (such as crossdressing or having sex with a transgender person). I also found that women were more likely to fantasize about BDSM and to place more emphasis on where they were having sex; by contrast, men reported more taboo sexual fantasies and placed more emphasis on who they were having sex with.

What do a person’s sexual fantasies say about their personality? 

My survey results suggest that people with different personalities tend to fantasize about very different things. For example, people who are more extraverted and outgoing tended to have more fantasies about group sex and non-monogamy (after all, they like meeting new people!). Highly agreeable persons (i.e., those who have more care and concern for the well-being of others) were less likely to fantasize about BDSM, infidelity, and emotionless sex—a pattern that makes a lot of sense because they don’t want to hurt anyone and they want to be sure that their partner is enjoying the sex. Also, those who were more neurotic, meaning they don’t handle stress well, were more likely to include calming emotional content in their fantasies (like romance), while they were less likely to fantasize about trying new things—in other words, neurotics’ fantasies seemed to be designed to avoid stressing them out. I discovered many more connections between our personalities and our fantasies, but it seems that, overall, our fantasies reflect who we are and they appear to be designed to meet our unique psychological needs.  

Were there any sexual fantasies that stood out to you?

One of the most interesting fantasies I learned about through this survey was something that one female participant described as being a “human cow.” Specifically, she wanted to be tied up in the center of town where she would be force fed hormones that would make her lactate constantly while people would come and milk her and have sex with her whenever they wanted. I only received one fantasy like this, but after writing the book, I learned that there’s a whole porn genre devoted to women dressed as cows while they’re tied up and hooked to milking machines. 

What is your advice to someone who has expressed a particular sexual desire to a partner who is unwilling to fulfill it? 

If the results of my survey have taught me anything, it’s that most of us aren’t just fantasizing about one thing and one thing only—we tend to have multiple sex fantasies. So odds are that even if you and your partner aren’t a match on a given fantasy, there will likely be several other areas where you’ll have common ground. Therefore, I would suggest looking for other desires that are mutually shared. The other thing I would advise is to avoid pressuring or coercing your partner into fulfilling a given fantasy because that’s not going to turn out well for anyone. 

What is your advice to someone who may be uncomfortable fulfilling their partner’s desire? 

First and foremost, don’t do anything you don’t want to do. And if you’re uncomfortable with something, consider proposing an alternative activity that could potentially fulfill your partner’s desire while also being of interest to you. For instance, if your partner is turned on by the idea of a threesome but you aren’t, you might compromise by looking for other ways of interjecting novelty into your sex life, such as by role playing or watching porn together. The need for sexual novelty is one that is pervasive, but it’s endlessly flexible and there are so many ways that it can be achieved. 

What role does evolution play in sexual fantasy and desire?

As I discuss in the book, there’s a lot of research to suggest that people’s sexual fantasies and desires are shaped, to some extent, by our evolutionary history. The idea here is that the unique reproductive challenges faced by our ancestors may have predisposed us to certain desires that are likely to assist us in meeting those challenges. For example, this would include desiring partners with physical attributes that signify sexual maturity, fertility, and strong genes (think men with chiseled bodies and women with hourglass figures) because this would help to ensure that we focus our attention on prospective partners with whom there would be better odds of successful reproduction. As I discuss in Tell Me What You Want, this line of reasoning helps to explain why the likes of Channing Tatum and Scarlett Johansson top the list of the most fantasized about celebrities.


Thank you for sharing all of this information about your research. Now we have a few questions about you! First, how do other people react to your career as a sex researcher and educator when they find out what you do?

Being a sex researcher is something that’s both a blessing and a curse. I absolutely love my job and the fact that I’m able to learn new things about sex every day, to share this information with the world through my writing, and to contribute to scientific knowledge. At the same time, though, it means that everyone wants to ask me their sex questions—even when I’m at a dinner party or out with my friends. All of us want to be able to escape our work sometimes and even though I find sex to be a really interesting and fascinating subject, I need a break from it sometimes!

You used to work at Harvard University. What did you find the most surprising about working there? 

One of the classes I taught at Harvard was Psychology of Human Sexuality. I was surprised to learn that this course hadn’t been offered in the Psychology Department there for several years before I started teaching it. This meant there was a lot of pent-up demand, so I ended up having some pretty big classes. 

One of the most unique things I discovered about teaching at Harvard, though, was the fact that there aren’t a ton of required courses and students largely get to choose their own curriculum. The first week of every semester is known as “shopping week” and it’s when students go sit in on a bunch of classes and decide what to take. It puts a lot of pressure on you as an instructor to engage your students from the moment they set foot in your classroom because if you don’t capture their attention that first week, they won’t sign up for your course. That experience actually ended up making me a much better instructor because I really had to figure out how to captivate an audience. 

What is the most important thing about sex that you want all therapists and healthcare providers who deal with sexuality issues to know? 

There are so many things! I don’t know that I can recommend just one piece of information, but I think it’s important for them to recognize that our knowledge and understanding of human sexuality is constantly changing and evolving. And the “replication crisis” in science is affecting our field, too. As we go back and revisit older findings in the literature and attempt to repeat them, we’re finding that they don’t necessarily all hold up (such as the finding from the 1980s that men exposed to Playboy centerfolds reported less love for their partners than men exposed to abstract art—that was a highly cited finding for decades, but modern researchers have found that they can’t replicate it). This means that your sex education can’t end with your graduate training and it speaks to the importance of and need for continuing education for therapists and healthcare providers. We all need these opportunities to keep up to date on the literature and to ensure we’re practicing with the best available data and information in mind. The good news is that a lot of these continuing education opportunities are available through the Sexual Health Alliance and elsewhere. All you need to do is seek them out!

What are the most common or influential sex books you reference in your work?

One of the books I reference most frequently is The Social Organization of Sexuality by Laumann and colleagues. This is the book that’s based on the National Health and Social Life Survey from the 1990s. It’s really a treasure trove of information about Americans’ sexuality from that point in time (just like Kinsey’s books were for people in the 1940s and 50s). It’s one of the most comprehensive sex surveys ever conducted, and it’s really useful as a reference point when looking at how sexual behaviors were similar/different a quarter-century ago. 

I reference the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts with some frequency too. This book looks at what our porn searches say about us and it provides some revealing insights about sexuality today.

Who in the field of sex research inspires you?

There are a lot of people who inspire me, but one of the first names that comes to mind is Dr. Lori Brotto. She does it all—she’s has this incredible body of research that is supported by millions of dollars in grants, but she’s also engaged in clinical practice, she disseminates science to the public through the media, she’s an incredibly dynamic public speaker and educator, and she’s written an amazing book called Better Sex Through Mindfulness. She’s also just a wonderful human being who has seemingly managed to find that elusive work-life balance, too. I’m in awe of what she has accomplished.


As a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, you have made a wonderful career as a sex educator. What would you recommend to young educators wanting to follow in your footsteps?
The most important thing to know is that there isn’t just one path you can pursue. Sex educators come from wonderfully diverse backgrounds. You could get your training in social psychology like I did, but I know sex educators who have backgrounds in public health, biology, anthropology, and several other fields. So start by choosing the discipline that’s the best fit for you and your interests. 

The other big thing to consider is how you want to educate people—do you want to work in a college setting? Do you want to teach adolescents? Do you want to put on workshops or write for the general public? Connect with some educators who are in the area you want to pursue and ask for their advice because each area may require different credentials or experience. 

Thank you Dr. Justin Lehmiller!

-SHA Team

SEX NERD TRIVIA AND BINGO BANGO! COMES TO DENVER, COLORADO!

WE’RE THRILLED TO BE AT CARBON CAFE AND BAR ONCE A MONTH WITH OUR SEX NERD TRIVIA SHOW IN DENVER, COLORADO!!

Open to all professionals and industries. All sex nerds welcome. All curious minds encouraged to join.

Free!

Carbon Cafe and Bar has a great food and drink menu so be sure to get there early to find a seat and grab a drink! http://www.carbondenver.com

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Launching our Sex Therapy Certification Program in Chicago, Seattle and Los Angeles!

We’re excited to be branching out and expanding to areas where the demand is great! As always, all of our trainings are open to all industries and professionals as we believe anyone that might have a conversation about sex with another, deserves high quality sex education.

THE SEXUAL HEALTH ALLIANCE (SHA) IS PROUD TO OFFER A FULL SEX THERAPY CERTIFICATION PROGRAM WITH 155 AASECT CE YOU CAN APPLY TOWARD AASECT SEX THERAPY CERTIFICATION AND/OR AASECT SEXUALITY EDUCATOR CERTIFICATION!

Throughout the program you will:

1.) Attend 3 live (in-person) Sexceptional Weekends in the SHA region of your choice. We are currently in Austin, Dallas, Denver, Seattle, Los Angeles and Chicago with more coming soon.

2.) Take our online program with the national experts.

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Complete number 1 and 2 above and earn 155+ AASECT CEs toward AASECT Certification. You will also automatically obtain the Sexual Health Alliance Certification when completing this program.

*Includes SHA online program + 3 in-person weekends in citie(s) of choice + Meet & Greet Parties with your cohort + Access to Online resource group and supervisor lists, "Do it for me" AASECT Application - we will fill it out with you, discussion sessions with THE experts, Welcome Swag Bag and more!

LEARN MORE HERE!

Sexual Health Alliance performs our Sex Nerd Trivia Set at the Unify Pleasure Carnival

We’re excited to be invited to perform our Sex Nerd Trivia Set at the Unify Pleasure Carnival Feb 14th, 2019!

Step right up and experience UNIFY's "Pleasure Carnival" at the Brick on Thursday, February 14th from 7-11pm. Sponsored by Kind Clinic!

Carnival games galore! Valentine's Day vendor market to get something for your sweetie!

Shop to your hearts content with:
Echale Books
Caricatures by Audrey
Pure Romance By LaureeB
Le’Bleu Apothecary
Picadeli
Akaimi Davis: Mixed Media Artist
Erotic Blueprints by David Miron

Is romance in your future? Ask our Fortune Teller! All dolled up? Swing by our photo booth with tons of fun props! Free bear hugs all night from the Renegade Bears of San Antonio - Fan Page!

Door prizes throughout the evening, and special prizes for those who step up for a rapid HIV test. Beverages and munchies will also be available.


Find out more info: https://www.facebook.com/events/2137372926531883/


Be mesmerized by the beautiful Skharlott de la Noche of the SanAntonio Sistersof Perpetual Indulgence as our MC for evening!

Experience the oddities in our Drag Freak Show, starring MISS TAINT of Miss Taint’s Fright Night! These Drag Queens and Kings will delight you! 2 shows will titillate your senses!
Performances by: San Antonio's glamour ghoul Miss Taint, and the scandalous bearded queen Gena Cyde, and bucking twirling diva Naima Jackson- Hewitt , as well as members of the Haus of Coven - Haus elder and opulent drag entity Paradox Rei, the sensual, sultry ladyqueen Taryn Tino, Texas' only heterosexual male drag queen, the alluring, ominous Vanta Blvck, and one of Haus of Coven's drag kings, the spectacular MysterySA!

Be awed by the extraordinary feats of the POLYACROUS who defy gravity on the trapeze and tumble into your heart. Don't worry, you get 2 chances to witness their super human skills!

Round out your evening by warming up your biggest organ with a Sex Nerd Trivia hosted by the Southwest Sexual Health Alliance! Have your phones ready to answer all questions regarding pleasure and sex!

18+, carpooling is highly encouraged! Questions? Contact us at 210-261-3616 or abenton@chcsbc.org

We can’t wait to perform for y’all at the Pleasure Carnival presented by UNIFY San Antonio this Thursday 2/14 at Brick at Blue Star Arts Complex 🎟

The alternative scene of SA is ready to present a freakshow of drag oddities , with two sets you don’t want to miss ! Never seen a drag show before ? Now is the perfect opportunity to do so - tipping is customary so be sure to bring some loose bills . Broke ? No worries - we feed off of audience applause and noise , because it’s what? FREE ! 

SA CURRENT PRIDE 2017 COVERGHOULS:
Miss Taint - @miss_taint
Paradox Rei - @theparadoxrei

MEMBERS OF Haus of Coven
Vanta Blvck- @missvantablvck
Mystery SA- @therealmysterysa
(Taryn Tino)- @taryn_tino_

SAN ANTONIO FAVORITES
Gena Cyde- @queengenacyde 
Naima Jackson-Hewitt- @jesseaholton82

High Praise for Dr. Justin Lehmiller! Our 2018-2019 Speaker for Sexual Health Alliance!

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Our Sexceptional Lecturer, Dr. Justin Lehmiller continues to outstanding praise and media coverage. He has been on a world tour with the Sexual Health Alliance to deliver trainings to all types of professionals in Denver, CO, Austin, TX, Dallas, TX, Los Angelos, CA, Chicago, IL and Seattle, WA. Visit our Events tab at the top of the page to find all upcoming events!

TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT Book tour Media Coverage

Major features (print and online)

Health.com  

http://www.health.com/sex/most-common-sexual-fantasies-explained

The Wall Street Journal

https://www.wsj.com/articles/new-research-delves-into-sexual-fantasies-1529936957

The Australian (reprint of WSJ article)

https://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/wall-street-journal/sexual-fantasy-survey-uncovers-surprising-insights/news-story/092923a06a8a4d34ecd7539f2b462ecd

The New Zealand Herald (reprint of WSJ article)

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/relationships/news/article.cfm?c_id=41&objectid=12081088

The Daily Mail (U.K.)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5883591/Americans-crave-group-sex-largest-domestic-survey-sexual-fantasies-reveals.html 

NUVO (Indianapolis paper)

https://www.nuvo.net/arts/summer-reads-new-books-by-indy-authors/article_5ff70a50-798b-11e8-8149-830546771d79.html 

De Morgen (Begium newspaper)

https://www.demorgen.be/wetenschap/meeste-mensen-dromen-van-triootje-maar-doen-het-daarom-nog-niet-b8f9583c/

Bustle

https://www.bustle.com/p/the-7-most-popular-sexual-fantasies-according-to-4000-americans-9615180

Mel Magazine

https://melmagazine.com/americans-crave-group-sex-fc57e932b3ae

Livestrong

https://www.livestrong.com/article/13713594-the-most-popular-sexual-fantasy-americans-have/

https://www.livestrong.com/slideshow/13713927-the-psychology-behind-8-popular-american-sexual-fantasies/

The Sunday Times (U.K.)

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/tell-me-what-you-want-an-exclusive-extract-from-dr-justin-lehmiller-s-new-book-exploring-what-your-sexual-fantasies-say-about-you-zl7w535ml

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/editor-s-letter-lorraine-candy-on-sexual-fantasies-and-dr-justin-lehmiller-s-new-book-tell-me-what-you-want-jsctrbhx6

Psychology Today 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/standard-deviations/201807/fantasy-island-research-probes-the-science-sexual-desire (book review by Michael Aaron)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stepmonster/201807/what-we-think-about-when-we-think-about-and-have-sex (Q&A with Wednesday Martin)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-myths-sex/201807/the-deeper-psychological-meaning-behind-your-sex-fantasies

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-myths-sex/201807/where-do-our-sexual-fantasies-come

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/201808/why-do-we-have-sex-fantasies-its-about-more-pleasure

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/201808/what-your-sexual-fantasies-reveal-about-your-personality

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201807/the-politics-cuckolding (post by David Ley)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/201809/4-uncommon-sexual-fantasies-and-what-they-mean

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/201809/what-do-our-sexual-fantasies-say-about-who-we-are

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/201810/seven-fascinating-facts-about-sexual-fantasies

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-matters/201811/new-research-might-be-able-predict-your-sexual-fantasies (post by Ari Tuckman)

Herald Sun (Australia)

https://www.heraldsun.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/a-new-survey-has-revealed-what-we-really-fantasise-about-in-bed-and-how-it-varies/news-story/3803c10ad386aa8e38b4656034403d60

The Sun (U.K.)

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/6671001/six-common-sexual-fantasies-revealed/

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/6653023/heres-what-your-sexual-fantasies-say-about-your-personality-and-it-turns-out-women-like-it-rougher-than-men/

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/6757293/two-year-sex-survey-brits/

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/7562703/sexual-fantasies-personality/ 


Daily Mirror (U.K.)

https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/sex/top-6-most-common-sexual-12839475

https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/health/how-improve-your-sex-life-12895401

Bild (German tabloid)

https://m.bild.de/unterhaltung/erotik/sex-und-liebe/von-diesem-sex-traeumen-wir-am-haeufigsten-56185836.bildMobile.html

goop

https://goop.com/wellness/sexual-health/how-the-science-of-sexual-desire-can-improve-your-sex-life/?ref=newsletter

Metro (U.K.)

https://metro.co.uk/2018/07/07/seven-common-sexual-fantasies-7690384/ 

The I (U.K.)

https://inews.co.uk/opinion/the-most-unusual-sexual-fantasies-from-the-largest-ever-survey-and-what-they-tell-us/

https://inews.co.uk/opinion/the-deeper-psychological-needs-behind-your-sexual-fantasies/ 

The Independent (U.K.)

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/common-sexual-fantasies-threesomes-bdsm-public-american-a8438566.html

VICE/TONIC (book excerpt)

https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/evk8ae/how-to-stop-feeling-guilty-about-what-you-want-in-bed
USA Today

https://usat.ly/2uacwCS

Republished in the Battle Creek Enquirer (Michigan) in print

Ask Me Anything on Reddit (July 10)

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/8xr09r/i_am_justin_lehmiller_a_research_fellow_at_the/ 

New York Journal of Books (review)

https://www.nyjournalofbooks.com/book-review/tell-me

Naked at Our Age by Joan Price (review)

http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com/2018/07/tell-me-what-you-want-by-justin.html

The Atlantic

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/07/sexual-fantasies-justin-lehmiller/565547/

The Indianapolis Star

https://www.indystar.com/story/entertainment/arts/2018/07/19/kinsey-sex-doc-most-common-sexual-fantasy-america/786609002/

Republished in USA Today: https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/nation-now/2018/07/19/kinsey-institute-sex-researcher-sexual-fantasies/800581002/

Republished in Cincinnati Enquirer: https://www.cincinnati.com/story/entertainment/arts/2018/07/19/kinsey-sex-doc-most-common-sexual-fantasy-america/786609002/

Republished in Louisville Courier Journal: https://www.courier-journal.com/story/entertainment/arts/2018/07/20/most-common-sexual-fantasy-america/807749002/ 

The Cut

https://www.thecut.com/article/what-its-like-to-be-a-sex-researcher.html
CNN

https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/24/health/sex-fantasies-kerner/index.html

Republished in CNN Chile: https://www.cnnchile.com/tendencias/esto-es-lo-que-tus-fantasias-sexuales-dicen-sobre-ti_20181020/ 

Chicago Tribune

http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/stevens/ct-life-stevens-monday-americans-sexual-fantasies-0730-story.html

Republished in Arizona Daily Star: https://tucson.com/lifestyles/balancing-act-americans-no-sexual-fantasy-survey-says/article_a1af8470-daec-56cf-880f-620e7c39ec7d.html 

Republished in the Santa Barbara News Press (print only)

Of Sex and Love Blog (review)

http://ofsexandlove.com/tell-me-what-you-want

Boston Globe

https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2018/08/10/tell-what-you-want-looks-sexual-fantasies-and-science-desire/rEugCse6UDX3KjJuQ03srK/story.html

Fatherly

https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/sex/sex-fantasies-common-desire-shame-research/

Men’s Health Magazine (print) – “Ask an Advisor” feature entitled “Reel Sex” published in the September 2018 issue

Romance Daily News

https://www.romancedailynews.com/trends 

RealClearLife

http://www.realclearlife.com/books/americas-sexual-fantasies-laid-bare-new-book/ 

Yahoo Brazil

https://br.vida-estilo.yahoo.com/casais-acham-mais-facil-fazer-sexo-que-revelar-fantasias-diz-pesquisador-233903997.html

Broadly

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/qvmynb/five-most-common-sexual-kinks-fantasies

Maxim

https://www.maxim.com/maxim-man/most-popular-kinks-in-america-2018-9 


NUVO (online and in print)

https://www.nuvo.net/arts/tell-me-what-you-want-science-and-sexual-fantasy/article_89047c0e-c100-11e8-bab7-8be69baf5fd0.html

Brides.com

https://www.brides.com/story/fantasize-about-your-partner

The New York Times (review)

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/17/books/review/tell-me-what-you-want-justin-lehmiller.html

Published in print on October 21, 2018

Huffington Post

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-your-sexual-fantasies-reveal-about-you_n_5bc8b6d3e4b0a8f17eea3227

Elite Daily

https://www.elitedaily.com/p/what-do-your-sexual-fantasies-reveal-about-your-personality-this-study-is-mindblowing-12753040

Politico (op-ed written by me)

https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2018/10/27/sexual-fantasies-republicans-democrats-politics-221919

Covered in Rolling Stone

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/republican-democrat-different-sexual-fantasies-748265/amp/

Covered in Yahoo

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/republicans-democrats-divided-sexual-fantasies-182845074.html 

Covered in Yahoo News UK

https://sports.yahoo.com/left-wingers-right-wingers-different-sexual-fantasies-124251689.html 

Covered in Indy100

https://www.indy100.com/article/midterms-2018-sex-fantasy-study-sexual-republican-democrat-bdsm-infedelity-8608851 

Covered in IFL Science

https://www.iflscience.com/editors-blog/republicans-and-democrats-have-very-different-sexual-fantasies/

Covered in LGBTQ Nation

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2018/10/republicans-democrats-vastly-different-sexual-fantasies-reason-fascinating/ 

Covered in Inquisitor

https://www.inquisitr.com/5136903/republicans-democrats-divided-on-sexual-fantasies-as-well-as-politics/amp/

Covered on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3neoZaTEUeM&feature=youtu.be 

Information (Danish newspaper)

https://www.information.dk/kultur/2018/10/bogkort-forskellene-paa-maend-kvinders-sexfantasier-mindre-forventet 

Glamour Paris

https://www.glamourparis.com/amour-et-sexe/news/articles/tell-me-what-you-want-le-livre-qui-en-dit-long-sur-votre-sexualite/70274#Echobox=1541604184 

The California Therapist (book review by Dr. Marty Klein in the September/October 2018 issue)

http://viewer.zmags.com/publication/8054e4ab#/8054e4ab/80 

Book review by author Piers Anthony in his HiPiers newsletter (November 2018)

http://hipiers.com/newsletter.html 

Forthcoming:

Cosmo – book will be featured in Sex Q&A (October). Will also be mentioned in January issue in a piece on fantasies

Psychology Today (print edition – they will be reprinting some of my blog posts about the book in the November/December issue)

Playboy (German Edition) - November

Radio, Podcasts, and TV

Savage Lovecast – interview with Dan Savage on July 3, 2018

https://www.savagelovecast.com/episodes/610#.Wz5GgWaZPUJ 

Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast – interview on July 6, 2018

https://www.sexwithdrjess.com/2018/07/what-do-your-neighbors-fantasize-about/

Pleasure Mechanics Podcast – July 13, 2018

http://www.pleasuremechanics.com/tell-me-what-you-want-exploring-sexual-fantasy-with-justin-lehmiller-ph-d/ 

Talk Louisiana – July 18, 2018

http://wrkf.org/post/wednesday-june-18th-roger-villere-bruce-herschensohn-justin-lehmiller 

Airtalk (NPR and KPCC) – August 6, 2018

https://www.scpr.org/programs/airtalk/2018/08/06/63458/when-it-comes-to-sex-what-s-normal-the-science-of/

You: The Owner’s Manual (Radio MD) – August 7, 2018

http://radiomd.com/show/you-the-owners-manual-radio-show/item/38100-ep-907b-improve-your-sex-life 

The Psychology Podcast with Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman – recorded August 22, 2018

https://scottbarrykaufman.com/podcast/the-science-of-sexual-fantasies-with-justin-lehmiller/ 

Covered in Scientific American: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/podcast-recap-october-2018-sexual-fantasies-dna-habits-and-perfect-timing/ 

Her podcast (Radio MD) – recorded August 23, 2018

http://radiomd.com/show/her/item/38121-sexual-fantasies 

Me Time with Frangela (Television program) – August 23, 2018 and October 23, 2018

Science of Sex podcast with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova – recorded September 26, 2018

https://scienceofsexpodcast.com/42-what-your-sexual-fantasies-say-about-you/ 

Doctor Radio (Sirius XM) with Dr. Virginia Sadock – October 1, 2018

Savage Lovecast (second appearance) – recorded on October 9, 2018

https://www.savagelovecast.com/episodes/626#.W89E0i-ZPUI 

Tell Me Everything (Sirius XM) – Interview with John Fugelsang – October 16, 2018

Sex with Emily podcast – October 23, 2018

http://sexwithemily.com/26352-2/ 

Sexology podcast with Dr. Nazanin Moali – recorded November 2, 2018

http://www.sexologypodcast.com/2018/11/13/sexual-fantasies-justin-lehmiller/ 

The Ersties Podcast (based in Berlin, Germany) - November 13, 2018

Sex with Strangers podcast – November 13, 2018

BBC Radio – Sex Takeover – November 20, 2018

Why Are People Into That?! Podcast – December 10, 2018

Book Mentions (not specifically about the book, but mention the book)

Cosmo

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a20967150/dry-orgasm-no-ejaculation/

Playboy

https://www.playboy.com/read/the-peak-of-pegging-why-anal-eroticism-is-everywhere-in-porn-and-pop-culture-1

https://www.playboy.com/read/how-should-we-think-about-forced-sex-fantasies-in-the-era-of-metoo

VICE/TONIC

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/3k449v/inside-the-disturbing-forum-incels-use-to-brutally-criticize-each-others-faces

https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/9k88b5/trying-not-to-think-about-sex-just-makes-you-think-about-sex-more 

https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/7xqq4g/women-short-orgasms

https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/9km7mp/we-fantasize-about-our-romantic-partners-more-than-anyone-else

IO Donna (Italian women’s magazine)

https://www.iodonna.it/benessere/amore-e-sesso/2018/06/29/i-miti-sullorientamento-sessuale-sfatati-dalla-scienza/ 

Prevention

https://www.prevention.com/sex/a21969931/sex-addiction-signs/

Metro (UK)

https://metro.co.uk/2018/07/23/people-call-sexual-partners-daddy-7747622/

Quartz

https://qz.com/1348381/the-way-psychologists-talk-about-sex-reveals-exactly-what-they-get-wrong-about-our-inner-lives/

Women’s Health (Australia)

https://www.womenshealth.com.au/what-to-do-sexless-marriage

Queerty

https://www.queerty.com/homophobic-republicans-prone-gay-sex-scandals-according-one-psychologist-20180812

Chicago Tribune (online and in print)

http://www.chicagotribune.com/redeye/culture/ct-redeye-ask-anna-cross-dressing-fantasy-20180815-story.html

Patch.com

https://patch.com/pennsylvania/northwhitehall/lccc-holds-sexual-health-intimate-relationships-wellness-conf

Bustle

https://www.bustle.com/p/morning-sex-may-make-you-more-productive-a-new-survey-says-11460888


The Science Advice Goddess - column by Amy Alkon

(Syndicated in about 100 newspapers, many of which are print only)

https://www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/09/18/codger-and-me

NUVO

https://www.nuvo.net/arts/banned-books-week-addresses-pornography/article_207ecb3e-c13d-11e8-92bf-cf73ced716d2.html

The Advocate (October/November print issue and also online)

https://www.advocate.com/love-and-sex/2018/9/21/what-do-adults-fantasize-about#slide-0 


The Atlantic

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/10/premarital-cohabitation-divorce/573817/ 

Mel Magazine

https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/why-were-all-so-thirsty-for-blood 

https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/the-enduring-appeal-of-the-erotic-maid

Toronto Sun

https://torontosun.com/life/relationships/why-do-men-send-unsolicited-d-pics/amp

An Outpouring of Kindness Benefitting the Kind Clinic this Thursday!

AUSTIN - Hang out at Pour Choices this Thursday evening and half of the tab goes towards The Kind Clinic!

PLUS The Sexual Health Alliance is a sponsor and we will have prizes and giveaways including tix to our next event!!

The Kind Clinic is an AMAZING resource in ATX. They offer FREE services and support to the community on all things sexual health and wellness related. See you there!!

Interview Dr. Richard Sprott on kink aware therapy & research

The Sexual Health Alliance interviews Dr. Richard Sprott with Heather McPherson, LMFT-S, LPC-S, CST.

Richard Sprott received his Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology from UC Berkeley in 1994. As a researcher he has examined in detail the relationship between professional identity development and the development of professional ethics in medical doctors, ministers and teachers, and professional identity development in emerging fields of work.

Richard currently teaches courses in the Department of Human Development and Women’s Studies at California State University, East Bay and graduate and undergraduate level courses at various universities in the Bay Area, including UC Berkeley, the California Institute of Integral Studies, and Holy Names University.  He currently is Executive Director of CARAS – Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities.

SHA @ AASECT

Denver Happy Hour

We are pleased to invite you and your friends to an impromptu Happy Hour with Giveaways and Games sponsored by The Sexual Health Alliance, Uberlube, MysteryVibe and More on Friday June 15th @ 5:30pm Lobby Bar. Our Community Director, Emily Bridge, LPC alongside Samar Poorlakani, LPC will be handling Bingo Bango! and more fun (yes, similar to last year in Vegas). 

Hang out with us and learn about our upcoming full certification program we are developing with Dr. Chris Donaghue and all the other fun programs we run in our three regions and 7 cities.

The Sexual Health Alliance provides local training and community to all professionals and non-professionals. Our events and programming are intended to build community, spark dialogue and encourage collaboration. We build communities that are well-informed and all inclusive. We recognize that general therapists and medical professionals receive little to no education in sexuality in graduate training programs and it is a significant issue. We’re dedicated to bringing the brightest minds and biggest game changers in sexual health to the Southwest, Great Lakes, and Golden Coast. See you there! 

2018 Personal Letter about the Future of The Sexual Health Alliance

Berlin Wall.jpg

Dear SHA Enthusiasts,
We have come a long way in such a short time and that's all thanks to the many that support us, show up, volunteer and contribute. Great friends and enthusiastic professionals have contributed in significant ways to our mission through leadership and advocacy. We ring in the new year with new ideas, new team members and collaborators. We plan on this year being big and bright for the field of sexual health and here at the Sexual Health Alliance, we hope to play a role in the sea of change we have seen gaining ground.

We invite you to join us in our plans for 2018. First, we welcome Dr. Chris Donaghue as our Director of Clinical Education for the Sexual Health Alliance. We're excited to bring more radical inclusion and education through Dr. Donaghue. 

Second, we have centralized all major positions so that we can be more consistent in our efforts. We’re also working to become more efficient with time and resources; this also means less paper. One way we plan on doing this is streamlining evaluations and CEUs to all be online. Speaking of the web, we have revamped our website to make it easier to find events - check it out: www.sexualhealthalliance.com

As part of our core mission, we will continue providing the training that most therapists and healthcare providers never received through provocative dialogue and radical collaboration - our tag line. Radical collaboration means we are all inclusive and actively welcome all practitioners, partners and friends to our Sexceptional Lectures. Anyone that talks to clients, customers or peers about sexual health is encouraged to join in on the fun. The Sexual Health Alliance currently includes the Southwest, Great Lakes and Golden Coast Regions. Want one in your area? Start a Sex Nerd Book Club, Sex Nerd Trivia or more in your area.

Take a look below at our upcoming events in California and Texas. We hope to see you at a training or lecture in the near future!


Warmly,


Heather McPherson LPC-S, LMFT-S, CST                                                                                     CEO and Founder of The Sexual Health Alliance

Sex Book Club (February 2018)

Hey Sex Book Club Nerds,

I'm the new book club leader and so happy to have the book club starting up again!

The book we have selected for February 2018 is:
Sensate Focus in Sex Therapy: The Illustrated Manual (1st Edition)
by Linda Weiner (Author),‎ Constance Avery-Clark (Author)

When:    Sunday February 18, 2018 @ 11:30am-1pm

Where:   Heather McPherson's Office, 2525 Wallingwood Drive, Building 12, Austin, TX 78746   

RSVP required by February 11, 2018 by emailing me at drjennifermcadams@gmail.com

Here's What It's About:
Sensate Focus in Sex Therapy: The Illustrated Manual is an illustrated manual that provides health professionals with specific information on the use of the structured touching opportunities used regularly by Sexologists to address their clients’ sexual difficulties (Sensate Focus 1) and enhance intimate relationships (Sensate Focus 2). This book is the only one to: vividly describe and illustrate the specific steps of, activities involved in, and positions associated with Sensate Focus; emphasize the purpose of Sensate Focus as a mindfulness-based practice; and distinguish between the purposes of Sensate Focus 1 and Sensate Focus 2. 

Through the use of artful drawings and descriptive text, this manual engages mental health and medical professionals and their clients by appealing to both the visual and the analytical. It discusses how modifications to Sensate Focus can be applied to diverse populations, such as LGBTQ clients, the elderly, the disabled, trauma survivors, and those with challenges such as Autism Spectrum, anxiety, and depression. The book also offers suggestions for dealing with common client difficulties such as avoidance, confusion, and goal directed attitudes. This comprehensive approach to Sensate Focus will remind readers of the beauty and power of touch while offering suggestions for moving from avoidance to sensory transcendence. 

Please make sure you have read and/or are familiar with the majority of the text and come prepared with a few talking points! 

I'll send a reminder email about the book club meeting in early February.  

Thank you!!

Warmly,

Jennifer McAdams, Ph.D.

Sex Nerd Trivia & Bingo Bango @ Alamo Drafthouse Mueller

Sex Nerd Trivia & Bingo Bango @ Alamo Drafthouse Mueller

Press Release:

Southwest Sexual Health Alliance's Signature "Not Yo Mama's Game Night" is now at the Alamo Drafthouse Mueller Location every 4th Wednesday bringing a ton of joy to Barrel O' Fun, the bar within. "Our goal is to bring high quality sex education that is classy, fun and entertaining - something that Austin is missing," said CEO Heather McPherson, LPC-S, LMFT-S, CST. 

"Not Yo Mama's Game Night" is organized and hosted by Emily Bridge alongside hosts Adam and Samar. See more about the next night HERE. It's always free to play and you are guaranteed to learn something too! Expand your sexual knowledge and play for the chance to win awesome prizes, furnished by Package Menswear, Forbidden Fruit, and Barrel O' Fun!

 

Not Yo Mamas Game Night Slide - November.jpg